Chapter 13: Thirteen

ROMAN

Her face was instantly drained of colour. I couldn't help but wonder what was going through her mind. When the filthy creature from earlier had spewed the words from his blood-stained teeth in desperation, I'd allowed myself to think he was only lying.

Then he dared to ask me to confirm it from her. I slit his throat after, of course.

No one gets to humiliate my person in front of me and lives to tell the tale. People will assume he randomly disappeared. The smart ones will figure out that I'd struck again.

"I...I—"

Solana dropped to her knees in front of me, her head hanging low. "I didn't mean t-to hide it. It doesn't m-mean anything. My w-wolf has been suppressed for a long time."

Every stammer that left those precious pouty lips made my chest tighten.

Well, she didn't apologize this time. Good.

Damaris wolves were considered extremely dangerous. Anyone with that kind of wolf was usually killed on sight by the council.

But this poor woman was already dying, why should I hold this against her?

Slowly, I crouched in front of her, cupping her face. I squinted at her, the dull ache in my chest growing when I saw the tears in her eyes.

She had such delicate features, it was hard to picture her going on a killing spree under the influence of her wolf.

What was it about this woman that affected me so?

"Who else knows about your secret?" I asked, and she swallowed hard.

"Alpha Elric," she whimpered.

I blinked.

He wasn't a problem. Men like him could be easily gotten rid of.

"You don't have to worry, Solana. You're mine now, Damaris or not," I told her, and fresh tears welled up in her eyes.

"Can I..." she began, and I tilted my head, silently urging her to go on.

She pressed her lips together, searching my eyes intensely. "Can I...hug you?"

I arched a brow, caught off guard. Was this one of her schemes to get me to fall in love with her? Would hugging really change anything?

Hold on...wasn't I overthinking things?

Her innocent gaze was fixed on me. It made me shift awkwardly, with a strange tickling in my throat.

"Sure," I uttered huskily.

The word had barely left my lips when she threw herself into my arms, her head resting on my chest. My heart pounded faster, her wonderful scent flooding my senses. She held me tightly while my arms hovered awkwardly around her body.

Why was I so...uncomfortable?

She was turning me into a wimp, wasn't she? A muscle ticked in my jaw as I weighed my pros and cons.

Hugging her wouldn't kill me, would it?

Biting my lower lip, I eased my arms around her. I closed my eyes, amazed by how warm and soft she was.

"Thank you, Alpha," she whispered, and my heart skipped a beat.

I'd heard those words several times, but for some odd reason, hearing them from her felt different.

....

The study was quiet, save for the hum of the air conditioner. I'd been sitting there for what felt like hours, my eyes closed, fingers steepled under my chin.

But her scent wouldn't leave me.

Even after two days, it lingered. It clung to my skin and to the inside of my lungs. I'd tried to shake it off, but every breath I took dragged it back in.

My hand twitched, resisting the urge to touch the spot where her head had rested on my chest. I leaned back in my chair and exhaled slowly, willing the warmth in my chest to die down. It didn't.

There was a sudden knock on the door.

"Come in," I said.

The door swung open, and Hawke, my gamma, strolled in. His usual smirk was in place, his eyes glinting with mischief as he waved an envelope in his hand.

"Working hard, Alpha?" he teased. "Or just brooding over a certain Luna's perfume?"

I shot him a look sharp enough to silence most men. Hawke only chuckled, tossing the envelope onto my desk.

"Relax," he said, settling into the chair opposite me. "It's not a love letter. It's the result from the fertility test you requested."

My eyes dropped to the envelope. A thin, innocent-looking thing. And yet it carried weight like a stone.

Fertility test.

Right. That.

I reached for it but stopped halfway. My hand hovered over the paper, my pulse oddly uneven.

The thought of breeding her...of using her body for lineage and obligation—felt...wrong.

"Where is she?" I asked in a low voice.

Hawke tilted his head. "Nigel took her to the pack house. Said she wanted to meet the members."

That warm pull returned to my chest. It was annoying. Dangerous, too.

She wanted to meet them. She was trying.

I pressed a hand against my sternum, wishing I could crush the feeling into dust.

"You're not opening it?" Hawke asked, nodding towards the envelope.

"Not yet."

He sighed and leaned back, watching me with faint amusement.

"Alright then," he said. "How have you been feeling lately? Any pain? Headaches?"

Pain.

I stared down at my hands.

The only time I'd felt pain lately had been when I'd kept my distance from her. When I'd forced myself not to look at her, not to breathe her in. My chest had felt like it was being crushed, but it wasn't physical.

Strange.

"I'm fine," I muttered.

Hawke didn't buy it. He never did.

He studied me for a long moment before I heard myself ask, "Hawke... what makes you cry?"

He blinked. "Cry?"

I nodded, keeping my expression blank. "And when you do... how does it feel?"

For a man who'd stared death in the eye more than once, Hawke looked genuinely thrown off.

"Well," he said slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. "That's a hell of a question. I guess it depends. Sometimes it's... tight in the throat. Like your body's trying to choke out what your mouth won't say. Sometimes it's just—" he gestured vaguely to his chest "—heavy. Feels like something sitting right here, pressing down until it breaks."

I leaned forward slightly, intrigued despite myself.

"And then?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Then it stops. You breathe. And it feels lighter. Doesn't fix anything, but it helps."

I stared at him, silent.

Lightness after pain.

Warmth after cold.

Was that what she meant? When she said it hurt in here?

My gaze darted back to the envelope.

Hawke cleared his throat. "You alright, alpha?"

I sat back, my eyes still on the envelope.

"I don't know," I said finally. "I honestly don't know."

Hawke flashed me a gentle smile.

"Don't overthink it. It will only cause problems. Please, don't get your heart confused. It is more fragile than you think. Just go with the flow."

Go with the flow.

As if that was easy.

Suddenly, a sharp pain slid into my skull from my red eye. I winced, cupping a hand around it. It was the eye that let me see the essence of other people’s souls.

“Alpha?” I heard Hawke say as I stumbled to my feet. The pain lessened slightly, but that didn’t stop me from heading into the restroom. I froze in front of the mirror when I saw that the eye had turned green just like the other one, my vision sharpening.

My stomach tightened as I thought of Solana, hoping that the backlash wasn’t too severe.

On second thought, I should go to her.

Struck with a sudden urgency, I hurried out, ignoring Hawke’s questions. Grabbing my car keys and phone, I headed out of my study.

Along the hallway, Elder Maeve rushed to me, her eyes wide and full of panic.

“What is it?” I asked.

“There’s been an attack,” she croaked, and I froze.

“What? Where?”

“At the packhouse.”

The air vanished from my lungs. And in that moment there was only one person on my mind. Solana.