Chapter 54 054
~DERRICK~
I was currently standing in the passageway with Lyka, and the words she had just said kept echoing in my head like a cursed chant I couldn’t silence. I just heard something so shocking from her that my mind refused to process it fully. What did she mean by saying I wasn’t me earlier? What kind of statement was that? Was she exaggerating? Or worse....was she telling the truth?
“What are you talking about?” I asked, trying to steady my voice, but I could feel an unfamiliar fear seeping into my veins as I formed the question. It wasn’t the kind of fear that came from enemies or rival packs. It was the kind that crawled under your skin and made you question yourself. Still, I shook my head almost immediately. There was no way. No way I could be losing control without knowing it. I would have felt it. I always did.
“When you were having a face-off with Aiden earlier, you changed your expression completely, and it was like a different you,” she said carefully. She sounded unsure, as though she was doubting her own eyes. Maybe she was afraid she had imagined it. Maybe she was hoping she had. But I couldn’t cling to that hope. I saw the certainty flicker in her gaze before she tried to hide it.
She did see something.
But why didn’t I feel the switch? Every other time, I felt it....the subtle shift, the creeping presence, the cold brush against my consciousness before he surfaced. I always felt him. So why was it that this time, I couldn’t even sense his presence? Why was there no warning?
“Is there something wrong? Should I be worried?” she asked, her voice softer now, breaking through the storm in my thoughts.
I jerked slightly, realizing I had gone silent for too long. “No, don’t mind me. I am going to be fine,” I said quickly, taking a step away from her. Distance. I needed distance. Because suddenly, an ugly thought crossed my mind....I might be dangerous. And if I was, then she was the last person who should be standing this close to me.
“I seriously don’t know what this is, but I can help you, and also....” she began.
The panic that shot through me was immediate and suffocating.
No. She shouldn’t offer to help. Help always came with consequences. Help always dragged her deeper into things she shouldn’t be part of. I had seen what happened when she got involved before. I wasn’t going to let history repeat itself.
“Don’t help me. Mind your business. I am going to be fine,” I cut in sharply, brushing her off before she could finish.
“But I am just curious, and....”
“And I said mind your business!” I roared.
The moment the words left my mouth, regret followed. I hadn’t meant to raise my voice at her. I hadn’t meant to let that edge slip through. But the whispers in my head were growing louder, more chaotic, and they were scraping against my restraint.
“Don’t you have a mouth? You should have talked if you don’t like something. Why did you need to give attitude?” she shot back, glaring at me.
I sighed, dragging a hand down my face. I knew she was worried. I could see it. But she didn’t understand what she was stepping into. She had already been caught in my shadows once. I didn’t want her dragged into them again.
“Just stay out of my business, okay?” I said firmly before turning to leave.
“What to do? There is no way I can mind my business when you have your secret shoved in my face,” she said, and her tone sharpened as she stepped closer. “And I don’t think you should use that tone with me because I might get angry and tell the whole world your secret.”
I hissed in frustration.
“I know you hate my face, but you wouldn’t want me to tell the pack your secret, right? So tread cautiously. And the most important part of it… don’t run mad,” she added, locking eyes with me before finally pulling away and walking off.
I stood there, frozen.
I didn’t know what to feel about her words. There was anger in her voice, yes. But beneath it, there was something else....fear. Concern. Maybe even determination. She was furious, but she was also worried. And that contradiction made it impossible for me to read her.
“I can worry about her later,” I muttered under my breath. “First, I need to know what is wrong.”
With that, I made my way toward my office. Each step felt heavier than the last. The hallway seemed longer, colder. By the time I entered my room, I closed the door behind me and leaned against it for a moment, steadying my breathing.
My gaze swept across the room before settling on the safe tucked discreetly behind the bookshelf.
I didn’t know how accurate Lyka’s observation was, but I knew one thing....she wasn’t a liar. And she had encountered him long enough to recognize when it wasn’t me. If she said something was off, then something was off.
“If what she says is true, then I should check it out myself,” I murmured.
I walked toward the safe and opened it with practiced precision. Inside lay a single folded paper. I had left it there months ago, convincing myself I wouldn’t need it anytime soon. I had hoped I wouldn’t.
Yet here I was.
I picked up the paper, my hand trembling slightly. My heart pounded against my ribs as I held it up, silently praying that it would remain blank. That it would prove my fears wrong.
For a brief, glorious second, it was blank.
Relief flooded me so fast it made me dizzy. “Oh, Moon Goddess,” I breathed, a faint smile forming on my lips.
But the smile died just as quickly.
Dark inscriptions began to crawl across the surface of the paper, as though invisible ink was revealing itself line by line. I stared in horror as the words slowly materialized.
Fear rooted me to the spot. Should I run? Should I burn it? Should I pretend I never opened it?
“This can’t be… this can’t be,” I chanted internally as the paper slipped from my fingers and fell to the floor.
It was no longer just paper.
It was a letter.
‘Don’t panic, Derrick,’ Clarke purred inside my mind, her voice smoother than it had any right to be at a time like this. ‘I am sure it’s not what we think. Why don’t we read what’s inside first?’
I swallowed hard. She was right. Avoiding it wouldn’t change anything.
I bent down slowly and picked up the letter again, my breathing uneven. My eyes scanned the first line.
“If you are reading this, that means he is taking charge.”
My chest tightened painfully.
So Lyka hadn’t been mistaken.
He really was taking over.
For a moment, I couldn’t continue. My vision blurred slightly as a wave of dread washed over me. But I forced myself to focus. Stopping wouldn’t help. Ignorance wouldn’t save me.
“Even after that, don’t panic because....”
The words stopped appearing.
“What?” I muttered, squinting at the page. “Why can’t I read the rest?”
No matter how long I stared, no new lines surfaced.
Then the realization hit me like a physical blow.
“I will only be able to read it line by line… as he continues to take charge,” I whispered, horror settling deep into my bones. “As he takes control over my soul.”
My knees weakened, and I stumbled backward until I collapsed into the chair behind me. The letter trembled in my grasp.
Did I really have to wait for him to take over just to know how to stop him?
Was that the price?
I ran a shaky hand through my hair, my mind racing. This wasn’t something I could ignore anymore. This wasn’t something I could handle alone....not if the signs were already showing.
Looks like I really need to visit the old lady.
Because if I don’t… this isn’t just a loss of control.
It’s suicide.