Chapter 41 041
DERRICK
I rubbed my jaw furiously as I watched her walk away, her back straight and rigid with anger. Every step she took felt like a blade twisting deeper into my chest, yet I knew there was no way I was going to stop her. Even if I tried, she wouldn’t listen. Lyka was not the kind of woman you could restrain with words when she was hurt.
She could have been stopped....I knew that better than anyone. I knew her temper, her fire, the way emotions ruled her when they burst free. But I couldn’t do that to her.
I couldn’t let history repeat itself.
The lake behind me remained silent, serene, mocking me with its calm as if nothing monumental had just shattered between us.
‘But she is really angry!’ Charles growled inside my head, his voice sharp and restless. ‘You could have just marked her and tried to find a way to control it later.’
I clenched my fists so tightly my nails bit into my palms. Charles was furious....not because Lyka was hurting, but because I had denied him what he wanted most.
“You don’t understand, Charles!” I snapped aloud, my voice echoing harshly in the open space. “You don’t understand anything at all!”
My chest rose and fell violently as memories clawed their way to the surface....memories I had buried so deeply I pretended they no longer existed.
“You knew exactly what you did back then,” I continued, my voice breaking despite my effort to remain composed. “You retreated to the back of my mind and left me to deal with the emotional wreckage. You abandoned me to carry the consequences alone!”
Rage surged through me, raw and untamed. I kicked the dirt at my feet, the sudden outburst startling even myself. Charles fell silent, retreating just as he always did when the truth became uncomfortable.
He didn’t know....he had never known....how much I had suffered. How every night for years had been haunted by regret, guilt, and blood-stained memories that refused to fade. I hid it well. Too well. Even my wolf believed I was unaffected.
But I wasn’t.
The past few years had been tormenting. Painful. Every decision I made was weighed down by the consequences of what had happened before, consequences I refused to repeat....no matter the cost.
“I don’t deserve that pain again,” I muttered bitterly. “And she doesn’t deserve it either.”
Lyka didn’t deserve to be dragged into a fate I couldn’t guarantee wouldn’t destroy her.
With one last look at the lake....the same lake that had witnessed our passion, our connection, our undoing....I turned away. I fled, not from the place, but from the memories of her body against mine, from the way she had trusted me completely.
I told myself those memories wouldn’t haunt me.
I lied.
By the time I reached the pack house, my expression was carefully masked once more. Guards bowed as I passed, murmuring greetings and words of respect, but I ignored them all. Their voices blurred into meaningless noise.
Before I realized it, my feet had carried me to a familiar place.
Her door.
I froze in front of Lyka’s chamber, my hand lifting slightly before dropping back to my side. I wanted to go in. Desperately. I wanted to explain....no, I wanted her to understand.
But then I heard her voice.
“That demon… how can he do that…” she groaned from inside, her words heavy with pain and betrayal.
My chest tightened painfully.
I turned away immediately. Even if I entered, there was no explanation that could justify my actions....not in her eyes. Right now, anything I said would only make it worse.
So I left.
My shoulders slumped as I walked back to my room, exhaustion weighing me down like chains. Every step felt heavier than the last. I considered turning back more than once, but I resisted.
I had made my choice.
When I entered my room, I expected silence.
Instead, I froze.
“What are you doing here?” I asked sharply, anger lacing my voice.
Zuri stood near the bed, her head bowed low. She didn’t speak at first, and that alone was enough to irritate me further. I walked toward her, my steps deliberate, demanding an explanation.
“What are you doing here?” I repeated. “I told you not to leave your room.”
She sighed softly, then lifted her head just enough to meet my gaze. “I am here to plead my case, Alpha,” she said quietly. “I am sorry for disobeying you… and for hurting someone under your protection.”
That surprised me.
Zuri was proud....too proud. Seeing her bow her head and beg for leniency was unexpected. For a brief moment, I considered dismissing her harshly, but something in her tone stayed my anger.
“Fine,” I said curtly, moving toward the bed and waving my hand dismissively. “You’re forgiven. You may go.”
But she didn’t move.
I turned around, irritation flaring....and then I saw her properly.
The overdress she had worn earlier had slipped to the floor, leaving her clad in nothing but a thin, loose garment that barely concealed anything. My jaw tightened instantly.
“What are you doing?” I demanded, my voice low with warning.
Zuri stepped closer instead of retreating. She gathered her hair into a bun, exposing her collarbone deliberately....a gesture that once would have caught my attention instantly.
But now?
I felt nothing.
“I heard from my maid that you came looking for me yesterday,” she said softly, wrapping her arms around me. “I thought maybe you were too shy to come in yourself… so I decided to come see you.”
I was still processing her audacity when a familiar voice cut through the air like a blade.
“What a lovely sight,” Lyka’s voice rang out, sharp with bitter amusement. “It’s almost blinding.”
My heart slammed violently against my ribcage.
I shoved Zuri away instantly and turned toward the door.
Lyka stood at the entrance.
She looked furious....hurt, angry, betrayed all at once. I had never been so nervous in my life. The look in her eyes told me everything: she wasn’t here to listen anymore.
“I found the door locked,” she continued coolly. “So I helped myself in. And what an interesting scene I walked into.”
Before I could speak, Zuri rushed forward. “How rude!” she snapped. “How dare you enter the Alpha’s room without permission!”
Lyka laughed softly, though there was no humor in it.
“Then forgive my disrespect,” she said with a mocking bow. “I came to hear your reasons… but I think I’ve seen enough.”
She turned to leave.
I wanted to chase after her. To grab her hand. To tell her it wasn’t what it looked like.
But my feet wouldn’t move.
What could I say?
“What is she talking about?” Zuri muttered, reaching for me again.
I slapped her hand away.
“Get out!” I roared.
She scrambled from the room without another word, fear etched clearly on her face. The door slammed shut behind her.
I collapsed onto the bed, dragging my hands through my hair.
What am I supposed to do now?
Lyka’s voice, her anger, her heartbreak....everything echoed relentlessly in my mind. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t silence it.
The whispers wouldn’t stop.
And for the first time in years, I feared I had already lost something I never truly allowed myself to have.