A LOVER’s DILEMMA.
“Tell me what?” I asked, my voice quavering.
Tammy’s hand felt cold and fragile as she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “Alexander, I need...I need to tell you something.”
I nodded, giving her a hand a gentle squeeze of reassurance. “Anything, Tammy. I am listening.”
Tammy’s lips trembled as she fought back tears. “I am so ...I am so sorry, Alexander. I have ...I have leukemia. I...I do not have much time left.”
I felt like my world came to a halt, the floor beneath my feet seemed to be slipping away and I was falling into a bottomless abyss. My words got caught in my throat, making it impossible to speak. All I could do was stare at Tammy, feeling utterly helpless.
“The doctors, they said I have less than three months,” Tammy continued, her voice barely audible. “I should have you earlier, but I was blinded by my hate for Leila and Ben came to me with his offer and ...I happened to let my greed and obsession take over...”
I tried to wrap my head around what she said and tried to comprehend the enormity of the news. Three months? It seemed impossible that Tammy, my ex, the woman I once shared my everything with, could be facing such a devastating fate.
Tammy’s fragile hand slipped out of my grasp, her voice growing even fainter. “I am sorry to burden you with this, Alexander,” she said. “I know I have done a lot of things, but can I please request that you find a place in your heart to forgive me? I do not have enough time...”
I shook my head, my mind racing with thoughts. There had to be something he could do, some way to make this nightmare disappear. “Tammy? There has to be a treatment, something...”
Before I could finish, a voice interrupted me.
“Mr Cross? My name is Doctor Jakob.
The doctor’s presence seemed to bring bad news, and a finality to the situation. Doctor Jakob cleared his throat and continued. “I know this is a difficult time,but I am afraid that Tammy is correct. There is no cure for her condition. The most we can do is to make her remaining time with us as comfortable as possible.”
I felt my heart sink, there was no way.
“What about a transplant?” I asked desperately. “Couldn’t we find a donor?”
Doctor Jakob shook his head gently, his somber expression remained unchanged. “I am sorry MR, Alexander. Tammy’s condition is too advanced for that to be an option.”
Tammy reached out for my hand, her grip weak bit insistent. “Alexander, please listen to the doctor: I have accepted what is happening to me, and all I want now is for our baby to be safe, and healthy. That is why I need to ask you for a favor...”
I could see where this was going, and my stomach clenched tightly in anticipation.
Tammy’s eyes pleaded with me, her voice barely a whisper now. “I want you to take my baby, our baby...and find a surrogate. Someone who you trust and can carry them to term, so that when I am gone, they will still have a chance at life.”
I felt like someone was stabbing my heart, and my mind was a jumble of emotions. I never wanted children, and having one that came so unexpectedly, and that too in such a manner terrified me. But how could I deny a dying woman? Not just any woman, the woman I once loved.
Tammy’s eyes were now glistening with tears. “I know, I have not been the best to you, Alexander,” she said, her voice breaking with tears. “I have lied, and cheated and hurt you. But please, do not let my past mistakes define our baby’s future. Please give our baby the chance I could not.”
My gaze moved from the monitor to Tammy’s face. I could not deny the truth in her words.
I took a deep breath, my mind racing. The weight of Tammy’s request pressed down on me making it hard for me to think. How could I bring another life into this world during such a crucial moment?
But then I remembered Tammy’s smile, she was with me even though it was a short relationship, it did leave me with some fond memories. And her sincerity, moved me.
“I will do it,” I whispered, forcing the words out of my throat. “I will find a way.”
As soon as my words left my lips, Doctor Jakob stepped forward. His expression showed that he bore urgent news. “There is not much time left. Tammy has only three months left and the longer wait, the more complicated and painful it is for her.” He said, his voice measured but urgent. “If we are to extract the embryo, and transfer it to a surrogate, it must be done soon. And given Tammy’s health, we can not risk delaying it.”
The doctor’s words rang in my ears and for a minute I felt dizzy. My gaze shifted to Tammy, her small hands wrapped around mine. I watched her, my heart feeling something that I never thought I would feel alone.
I hated to admit it, but this new news resurrected my feelings for here. I refused to accept this fact, but there was a part of Tammy that made me love her. Despite all the wrongs she did, I could tell she was only doing it because she was obsessed with me, maybe if she knew how to love, love me the right way, then the whole tale would have been different.
But I could not dwell on the past, I had to focus on the present and the future. I have to look for a surrogate , and that too the person that I could trust.
Only one name popped up in my mind, and I dreaded the possible outcomes if I tried to talk to that person. Admist all that has happened and is happening, asking her to do this will only complicate matters. But I was desperate, so I picked up my phone and dialed Leila’s number.
“Leila...”