My Wedding and The ex-lovers.
"Leila's point of view."
It is my wedding day.
I repeated the words over and over again as if saying them could somehow change the present.
As if when I said them it could somehow make me happy. This marriage was one of convenience, a marriage for revenge against a man who now wanted me with every fiber of his being. I had not told him about the wedding, only that I was breaking up with him. Society pages had carried the news of the wedding, and he had called me nonstop.
It was amusing, but I wasn't done with him yet.
Involuntarily, I formed a fist, my palm was sweaty, and I felt hot and cold all at the same time. I knew this was not something I could change, it had been my choice and I had to deal with the nerves even though rational thought was thrown out the window every time.
I sat at the window in my mother's room, my dress a vintage sequin pattern that had appealed to both my mother and best friend from the moment I saw it laid in a small trail behind me.
Two weeks of planning, a small, classy wedding that my mother had deemed worthy of her daughter and had met the expectations of the Donahues had been a difficult line to balance out
" You look so beautiful" Cia cooed as she sat by my side. She was my bridesmaid and the only one who wasn't family. I didn't have many friends, so I was glad that she was here. Many years ago, we met on a foreign program that allowed us both to become special friends. And while Cia was always on tours for her music tourism career and having little to no time for those back home, she had always sent back cards from the places she visited.
" Thank you" I whispered, rubbing my palm over my dress. I was nervous, it was a contract marriage within a contract marriage.
One nobody knew about, but they all thought this was real or as real as it could get. I think my mother harbored hopes of some sort of happiness for us both.
" Leila, are you ready," my mother called, walking into the room.
" I think so, I'm nervous" I hissed, trying to calm my nerves.
The anxiety wasn't doing me any good.
" That's normal dear, I was worried to death when I was getting married myself. My sister had to drag me out to the altar" she whispered, and we laughed. She lifted the bag she had brought and held it out to us both. I looked into it, frowning at the sight of a thin net and pale material.
" Now for tradition's sake, I brought this," she said, holding a thin veil. I hadn't thought of wearing a veil. My dress was a simple white dress, but very well-made, that would enhance my figure. But as my mother fixed the veil I couldn't help but smile.
" It was mine for my wedding. My granny wore it –she embroidered the flowers, and her mother before her, I embroidered the hem " she whispered proudly.
" It's beautiful" I murmured.
" Hm, so you're all set for something old and something borrowed". Sara grinned and I laughed.
" I guess"
" You girls should work on something blue then" my mother replied, leaving us alone.
Cia hummed
" Hm, what should we pick," she grinned.
" I think I have some earrings," I said softly. She smiled, standing on the bed, she dug through a bag and hummed under her breath. Then she pulled out a box and danced towards me.
" I was on tour in France, and I saw I couldn't help it, so I brought you this jewel". I grinned and opened a small piece of jewelry. Within it was a small bracelet with blue stones.
" Oh Cia, it's so pretty." I gulped. She grinned.
" I know I have good taste", I laughed, pulling it out of the box and wrapping it around my wrist, she closed the clasp and smiled.
" Perfect fit"
" Thank you," I said, pulling her into a hug. She endured it for all ten seconds before she pulled away.
"OK, I need to use the bathroom quickly," she huffed, rushing to the bathroom.
As I sat there waiting for Cia to get back from the bathroom, so we could leave, I suddenly couldn't keep the tears at bay, and they flowed and fell on my face one after the other. The door opened but I didn't check to see who it is
" You're crying" my mother sighed and sat on a stool next to me.
" Why are you crying?" she huffed. I patted my cheek with a cloth, wishing desperately that no tears would fall. I looked at her, and she looked worried and that baffled me.
" Do you not want this?" she asked.
" I do, of course I do" I muttered, and she frowned.
"Then what is the problem," she asked, and I sniffled.
" I don't know " I whispered, and she sighed, tucking her hair behind her ears.
"Crying is not going to solve your problem " she muttered.
" Leila, you are my daughter. My only child, I love you with all my heart and I hope you know your father and I will never hurt you " she whispered.
"But I know that you are a strong girl, a brave one too. To see you here crying over something you can beat is not you"
" I married your father at a time when it seemed the best thing to do. I have never regretted it ever since, but in the beginning, I was scared and had no idea what the hell my life would look like, but here I am, and I'm happy. "
" I wasn't very smart," she started.
" That's not true " I protested and she laughed.
" I know what people say, I don't care, I'm not very smart, my looks are all I have to recommend myself, so I learned to use them to survive. I don't mind what they say, because I love you and your father, and you are all that matters," she said as she took my hand in hers, wrapping them gently.
" Leila, you're better than I. You're beautiful to a man who will appreciate you."
" I've seen this boy Alex and I don't think he'll stop you from doing what you want and even if he does, you're smart enough to go around his head," she finished. I looked up at her, her words astounding me,
" Don't let anyone dim your light, Leila Campbell, " my mother encouraged. I nodded, pulling her into a big hug.
" Get dressed, he is waiting for you" I nodded just as the door opened and Cia walked in.
" Let's get going," she urged, helping me to stand.
The drive to the church took about ten minutes. It was my mother's favorite place for service on the days she was willing to go to church and where she'd gotten married, as well as where I had been baptized.
I got out of the car with Cia's help and reached for my father's, taking his hand. He looked at me and grunted.
" You look very pretty darling" he patted my hand softly. I was happy that he was there. I knew he loved me, and cared for me. And now that I knew just what kind of man Ben was, I understood his annoyance at my choices.
" Thank you Daddy, I said, softly kissing his cheek. He flushed, looking stunned by the action.
" You'll do well" he replied hoarsely, leading me into the church.
I could see Alex at the altar. He looked handsome, dressed in a black suit, his hair slicked back, this marriage was going to be a very fun and unusual ride.
We walked to the altar where my father handed me over, and placed my hand within his. I smiled softly at him, then at Father Sam, the priest who'd baptized me when I was a baby.
" Hello dear" he whispered, and I blushed.
" Hello Father" he smiled.
" If I'm lucky, I'll christen your first child " he teased. I flushed a deeper red if only he knew how much of a convenience this marriage was.
" We'll see," Father Derrick muttered.
The mass began
"Will you take this man to be your husband?" The priest said softly. I glanced at him, then at the man I was pledging to honor and obey– a man whom I had vowed vengeance, for whom I had no plans of fulfilling those promises even as I said yes…
The doors flew open and I walked in.
Past the last person I had ever expected to see.