Chapter 33 Mis-Love
The day started like every other quiet morning.
I stood in the kitchen, wearing Carson’s big white shirt, stirring a pot of soup. The smell of spices filled the air. Not long after, Carson walked in, his hair still wet from the shower. He looked fresh, calm, and a little too quiet.
“You’re cooking?” he asked, smiling lightly.
I nodded. “I wanted to surprise you,"I said.
He walked over and kissed my forehead. “I’m surprised,” he said. “In a good way.”
I smiled and went back to stirring.
We ate together, we talked, we laughed a little and everything felt so good.
After breakfast,I did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen while he sat on the couch reading a file.
I watched him from the corner of my eye. He looked serious… too serious.
“You’ve been quiet lately,” I said slowly.
He looked up. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind,”he said.
“Like what?” I asked.
He paused, then shook his head. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it,”he said.
But I was already worried.
Later that afternoon, I walked into the room and found the flash drive on his desk again.
I stared at it. The same flash drive that brought us all the way here.
“What are you still doing with this?” I asked him.
He looked up, surprised. “Why are you asking?”he asked.
“You told me we would rest. Take a break. You said we would just be happy for once,” I said.
“I know,” he said. “But I need answers, Annabel. We’re close,”he added.
I crossed my arms. “You’re obsessed."I Said
He stood slowly. “Don’t say that, I am not obsessed,”he said.
“I will,” I said. “You don’t sleep. You don’t eat. You stay up all night staring at files. Carson, this isn’t healthy."I said again.
“I’m doing this to protect you,” he said firmly.
“No, you’re doing it to control everything,” I replied.
He blinked at me. “That’s not fair,”he said.
I stepped closer. “You promised me peace. But you don’t even know how to rest, you keep dragging us back into danger."I said .
He looked at me now, his face looking so furious but still trying to be calm.
“And you? You think I’m doing this for fun? You think I enjoy the pressure?”he asked.
“I think you don’t know how to stop,” I said.
We stared at each other, the peace we had maintained from morning was no longer there, we are now both angry at something or trying to prove a point.
He walked past me, his hands in his pockets.
“You’re being dramatic,” he said quietly.
That made me freeze.
I turned slowly. “What did you just say?”I asked and I was ready to talk back.
He sighed. “You always twist things. Always make it all about you.”he said
“Are you serious right now?”I asked.
“I risked my life for you, Annabel,” he said. “I went to that dock alone. I faced men with guns and I didn’t think twice. I didn’t care if I got hurt because all I wanted was for you to be safe. And now… now you stand here calling me obsessed?”he added.
“I never asked you to do that,” I shouted, louder than I meant to. “I never told you to risk your life!"I said again.
“Wow,” he breathed. “So now it’s my fault? I was stupid for caring too much?”he asked, looking teary.
I shook my head, tears hiding in my eyes, cuz I felt what I said got into him“That’s not what I meant—”i said but he cut me off.
“No?” he cut in. “Then what did you mean, Annabel? That I should have left you there? That I should’ve just sat at home while you were crying for help?”he said, feeling all emotional.
“I didn’t ask you to be a hero!” I shouted again, louder this time. My voice cracked, but I didn’t care.
“All I ever wanted was someone who listens to me, someone who talks to me. Someone who stays when things get hard. Not someone who hides in files and papers and secrets, pushing me away every single day."I added, pouring in all my emotions.
“I was trying to protect you,” he said, quieter now. “Everything I did—every long night, every risk, every single thing—I did it all so you could be free. So you wouldn’t live in fear,”he added.
“But in trying to protect me, you stopped being with me. You’re always in some dark corner of your head, chasing answers, chasing shadows. Carson, I need you more than I need your plans."I screamed.
He ran a hand through his hair roughly, walking a few steps away from me.
“You don’t understand,” he said under his breath. “You never understood what it feels like to carry this weight. To feel like if you don’t fix it, everything will fall apart.”he added.
I walked closer to him, my heart beating fast.
“And maybe you never understood what it’s like to love someone and feel invisible to them,” I whispered. “To feel like you’re standing right in front of them, begging to be seen… and they just walk past."I added.
“I see you, Annabel,”he said.
“No, you don’t,” I whispered. “You see a problem to solve, a case to finish and danger to fix. But you don’t see me anymore. Not the way you used to, even though we've not stayed long together.”i said.
He looked at me like he wanted to reach out. But he didn’t move.
I folded my arms. “You know what? Maybe I am. Maybe I’m tired. Tired of walking on eggshells around your moods. Tired of feeling like I have to thank you for everything."I said.
He looked at me with hard eyes. “You’ve changed,”he said.
“Maybe we’re not who we think we are anymore,” I whispered.
Carson didn’t say anything for a while. When he did, his voice was cold.
“Maybe you’re right.”
I turned around quickly. “What is that supposed to mean?”
He shrugged. “It means maybe we rushed into this. Maybe what we thought we had was just fear and timing. Not love,”he said again.
The words hit harder than I expected.
“Do you mean that?"I asked.
He looked away. “I don’t know what I mean anymore.”he said.
I walked to the door. “Fine. I’ll give you space to think."I said.
“Do whatever you want,” he said flatly.
I stopped at the door, holding the handle.
“I loved you, Carson,” I said softly. “But maybe love isn’t enough.”
He didn’t stop me.
He didn’t say a word.
And that silence hurt more than any argument.
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I went upstairs, shut the door behind me, and sat on the bed.
The tears came slowly, like rain on a window.
Downstairs, he sat on the couch, staring at nothing. But he didn’t come after me.
And I didn’t go back to him.
For the first time since we met, we weren’t on the same side.
We were strangers in love, speaking different languages… broken by words that couldn’t be taken back.
And deep inside, I feared something:
What if we couldn’t fix this?