Chapter 40

I heard the sound of footsteps coming from the stairs, and I knew it was Xavier. I tried to compose myself, but I couldn't stop crying. I felt so broken, so defeated.

Xavier rushed into the kitchen, concern etched on his face. "Babe, what's wrong?" he asked, kneeling down beside me.

I shook my head, unable to speak. I felt like I was going to break into a million pieces.

Xavier pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly. "Hey, it's okay," he whispered. "I'm here. I've got you."

I sobbed into his chest, feeling a sense of safety and comfort that I hadn't felt in a long time.

"What happened?" Xavier asked, his voice soft and gentle.

I couldn't tell him anything. It would make things more complicated.

"I'm so sorry, babe," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with you but I'm here for you okay?"

Xavier's arms wrapped tightly around me, holding me close as I cried. I felt his warmth, his comfort, and his love envelop me, and it only made me cry harder.

"Babe, please stop crying," Xavier begged, his voice cracking with emotion. "You're breaking my heart. I can't stand to see you like this."

I tried to speak, but my voice was muffled by his chest. I shook my head, unable to stop the tears.

Xavier held me tighter, his hands stroking my hair, my back, my arms. "Please, my love," he whispered. "Please don't cry. I'll do anything to make it stop. Just tell me what you need."

I felt his tears fall onto my skin, mixing with mine. He was crying for me, with me.

Slowly, my sobs began to subside, replaced by ragged breaths. Xavier held me until I calmed down, until the tears stopped falling.

As I pulled back, Xavier's eyes met mine. They were red-rimmed, puffy, and full of love.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, my voice raw.

Xavier shook his head. "Don't apologize," he said. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm just sorry I wasn't here to protect you."

I shocked my head, feeling a sense of gratitude towards this man who loved me so deeply.

Xavier scooped me up in his arms, cradling me like a bride on her wedding day. I felt a rush of embarrassment as he began to carry me upstairs, my feet dangling in the air.

As we passed by the maids, they couldn't help but stare. I felt my face flush with embarrassment, mortified that they were seeing me like this.

"Xavier, put me down," I whispered, trying to squirm out of his grasp.

But Xavier just chuckled and held me tighter. "No way," he said. "You're not walking anywhere after what you've been through. I'm taking care of you."

I felt a surge of frustration, but Xavier's gentle smile and caring eyes made me melt. I relaxed in his arms, feeling a sense of surrender.

As we reached the top of the stairs, Xavier turned to me and said, "You're with me now. I've got you."

I smiled weakly, feeling a sense of gratitude towards this man who loved me so deeply.

But as he continued to carry me down the hallway, I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed. I was a grown woman, after all. I shouldn't be carried around like a child.

"Xavier, really," I said, trying to wriggle free again. "Put me down."

But Xavier just laughed and kept walking, his arms holding me securely in place. I was trapped, and I knew it.

Xavier carried me upstairs and gently placed me on the bed, making sure I was comfortable. He then removed his tie and tossed it aside, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I'm not going to work again," he said, his voice firm. "I'm staying right here with you."

I felt a pang of guilt and reached out to him. "Xavier, you can't do that," I said. "You have responsibilities, obligations. You can't just abandon everything for me."

Xavier sat down beside me and took my hand in his. "You're my responsibility now," he said. "My obligation is to take care of you, to protect you. And that's exactly what I'm going to do."

I felt a lump form in my throat as I looked at him. He was so determined, so willing to put his life on hold for me.

"Xavier, please," I said, trying to reason with him. "You have to go to work. You can't just stay here with me all day."

But Xavier just shook his head. "I'm not leaving you, honey," he said. "Not today, not ever. You're safe with me, and that's all that matters."

Xavier's eyes filled with concern as he gazed at me. "I can't leave you like this," he said, his voice soft.

I quickly wiped away my tears and tried to compose myself. "I'm fine," I said, trying to sound convincing.

But Xavier wasn't buying it. "Why were you crying, my love?" he asked, his voice gentle.

I felt a lump form in my throat as I tried to hold back fresh tears. But it was no use. I burst into sobs again, my body shaking with emotion.

Xavier pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly. "Hey, it's okay," he whispered. "Let it all out. I'm here for you."

I cried harder, feeling a mix of emotions: fear, anxiety, sadness, and helplessness. Xavier held me through it all, his arms a safe haven.

As I cried, I felt Xavier's hand stroking my hair, his touch soothing and calming. He didn't try to stop me or offer words of encouragement. He just held me, letting me release all my pent-up emotions.

Finally, my sobs began to subside, replaced by ragged breaths. Xavier handed me a tissue, and I blew my nose, feeling a little better. But the tears still lingered, and I knew I wasn't okay. Not yet.

Xavier's face was inches from mine, his warm breath caressing my skin. I could feel his eyes on me, searching for answers.

"What's wrong, babe? Would you tell me now?" he whispered, his voice low and gentle.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I couldn't verbalize the emotions swirling inside me. Fear, anxiety, sadness - it was all too much.

Xavier's eyes locked onto mine, his gaze intense. He was waiting for me to say something, anything. But I couldn't.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek, and Xavier's thumb brushed it away. His touch sent shivers down my spine, but I still couldn't speak.

Xavier's face was so close, I could see the concern etched on his features. He was trying to understand, to help me. But I couldn't let him in. Not yet.

I turned my head away, breaking eye contact. Xavier's breath caught, and he pulled back, giving me space.

But I knew he wouldn't give up. He would keep asking, keep trying to help me. And eventually, I would have to face whatever was haunting me.

Xavier's face lit up with a gentle smile. "Hey, I know what might take your mind off things," he said. "Let me take you out shopping. We can go to your favorite stores, get you something nice."

I shook my head, feeling a pang of guilt. He was trying so hard to cheer me up, but I just couldn't muster up the energy.

"I don't think so, Xavier," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

Xavier's face fell, but he didn't push the issue. "Okay, no shopping," he said. "What about breakfast, then? We can go to that new restaurant you've been wanting to try."

I shook my head again, feeling a lump form in my throat. "I'm not really hungry," I lied.

Xavier nodded understandingly. "Okay, we'll just stay in, then. I'll make you some tea, or we can watch a movie together."

I nodded, feeling grateful for his patience and understanding. He wasn't pushing me to talk or do anything I didn't want to do. He was just being present, and that meant more to me than he could ever know.

I looked at Xavier, his kind eyes and gentle smile making my heart ache. I wanted to tell him the truth, to reveal the secrets I'd been keeping from him. But I couldn't.

I knew that if I told him about Marco, about my past, about the fact that I wasn't his Lilith, it could change everything. It could affect his mental health, his trust in me, our entire relationship.

I wasn't his Lilith, the woman he thought I was. I was Avery, a broken and damaged person, the girl who married him for money.

I felt a pang of guilt and fear, knowing that I was keeping this secret from him. But I couldn't bring myself to tell him, not yet. Maybe not ever.

"Xavier, I..." I started, but my voice trailed off. I couldn't do it. I couldn't risk losing him, not when he was the only good thing in my life.

Xavier looked at me, concern etched on his face. "Babe, what's wrong? You can tell me anything."

I forced a smile, trying to reassure him. "Nothing, Xavier. I'm just. I don't know." I sniffed.

Xavier nodded, but I could see the doubt in his eyes. He knew I was hiding something, but he didn't press the issue. For now, I was safe. But I knew that this secret would haunt me, and our relationship, forever.

Xavier's arms wrapped around me, holding me close as I cried. He whispered sweet nothings in my ear, his voice like honey, warm and soothing.

"Babe, my love, my heart beat, the one I truly desire, please stop crying," he begged. "You're breaking my heart. I can't bear to see you like this."

I felt his lips brush against my ear, sending shivers down my spine. But I couldn't stop crying. The tears flowed like a river, unstoppable.

"You're my everything, Lilith," Xavier continued. "My reason for living. Without you, I'm nothing. Please, my love, don't cry. I'll do anything to make it stop."

His words were like a gentle breeze on a summer day, calming and reassuring. But I couldn't stop. The pain and fear were too much.

Xavier's hands stroked my hair, my back, my arms. He held me like I was fragile, like I might break at any moment.

"Lilith, my love, you're safe with me," he whispered. "I'll never let anything happen to you. I promise. Just please, stop crying."

But I couldn't. The tears kept coming, a never-ending stream of sorrow and fear. Xavier held me, whispering words of love and comfort, but I couldn't stop. I was lost in my own pain, unable to escape.

I couldn't take it anymore. The tears, the pain, the fear. I needed to escape. I pushed away from Xavier and ran to the bathroom, locking myself inside.

I leaned against the door, trying to catch my breath. I could hear Xavier's voice, soft and gentle, begging me to come out.

"Babe, please, my love, come out. Talk to me. Let me help you."

I shook my head, even though he couldn't see me. I couldn't face him right now. I couldn't face myself.

Xavier's voice continued, a soothing melody. "Lilith, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you. Please, don't shut me out."

I felt a lump form in my throat as I heard his words. I wanted to believe him, to trust him. But I couldn't.

Suddenly, I heard a gentle tapping at the door. It was slow and rhythmic, like a heartbeat.

"Babe, please," Xavier whispered. "Come out. Let me hold you."

I closed my eyes, feeling the tears prick at the corners. I wanted to open the door, to let him in. But I was scared. Scared of what he might see, scared of what he might think.

The tapping continued, a steady beat. It was like Xavier was saying, "I'm here, I'm waiting. Let me in."