Chapter 83
Evelyn didn’t say anything after his life-altering confession. He could see the unshed tears in her eyes and her mouth dropped open.
But no words.
“Say something, Evelyn,” he whispered.
The rest of his life depended on this conversation. Had he made the right choice? He’d put his heart on the line again knowing that he would never recover if she left him. But was it enough to just tell her he loved her?
“There has been no one else for me since you walked into my building for your interview. No one. I saw your face that night when you saw me with Vivian, I know that’s when I lost your trust,” he said. “But I haven’t kissed anyone, I haven’t hugged anyone, I haven't fucked anyone. I give you my word, even though you think it’s worth nothing.”
That was the night everything had gone wrong. His jealousy had boiled over and he’d convinced himself she was playing games. But he’d never imagined things would end how they had.
“You took her out,” Evelyn whispered. “You took her out even though you’d hammered it into me for a year that you don’t do dates and you don’t go out in public with women. And then you looked at me as if I was nothing and walked in with her on your arm.”
“I looked at you with Brandan, standing outside as if you were waiting for me, hoping I would see you,” he admitted. “I’d convinced myself that you were trying to trap me, trying to make me jealous and lose my head so I would confess how I felt for you.”
“I didn’t even know you’d be there! We were drunk and lost. Trust me, if I had known I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near that place.”
“It took me a while to realise you don’t play those games, but it was already too late.”
Was it too late now? Was there too much damage that she wouldn’t want to do this again?
He looked away from her gaze to look at his shoes again. He felt too exposed.
“It was easier for me to give contracts and then run when things got complicated but I couldn’t let you go. I know I have things I have to work on but I should never have projected my issues on you.”
He dared to look in her direction again. She was sitting so close to him but the distance between them felt like a canyon.
“I love you, Evelyn Bright. Give me a chance to show you. Give me a chance to learn how to love you right.”
Evelyn stood up again and put her arms around her body. She still had her Santa hat and her glowing band around her neck. She wasn’t looking at him. Was this it? Fuck.
His palms felt sweaty and he suddenly felt ill. He knew what she was going to say. He was too late with his confessions. It was over.
He stood up to stand in front of her. To take his last look at the love of his life.
Why did it hurt this much every single time?
"Evelyn, I'm sorry. I'll... I'll let myself out."
He walked out of the room but stopped at the front door and closed his eyes.
This is what he got for hoping. For believing he deserved anything other than the cold, loveless life he lived.
“Roman.”
He opened his eyes and turned at the sound of her soft voice.
“I don’t know how to trust you again,” she said.
“I know. But if you give me a chance,” he said, walking back to her, “I will give everything of myself to become worthy of you. I won’t hurt you again, Evelyn.”
“You can’t promise that,” Evelyn said.
“I won’t knowingly hurt you,” he corrected. “And if I somehow do, all you have to do is tell me. You’re everything to me, Evelyn. Everything.”
Tears fell down her cheeks.
And then he saw it again. He saw her heart in her eyes behind her glistening tears. He saw the things he had thought he’d lost.
But she had to say those words, too. She had to tell him she still loved him, and promise he was what she wanted despite all his obvious flaws.
Evelyn nodded and then whispered, “Okay.”
He took a step closer.
“Say it, Evelyn. Tell me you love me. Let me do it right this time.”
Evelyn licked her lips.
“I love you, Roman Ashfield,” she whispered.
And he felt his heart finally heal completely. He felt all the cracks disappear as if they hadn’t been there.
He didn’t laugh this time. He pulled her into his arms and lowered his lips to hers. His eyes closed as he savoured her lips and felt her tears on his face. He tasted their saltiness on his lips and prayed that these were happy tears because he was never going to make her cry again.
When he lifted his lips from hers, Evelyn took his hand and then led him up the narrow stairway. And then she took him to a small room that had some of her clothes piled on the surfaces and a narrow, single bed that looked like it wouldn’t take both their weights.
Evelyn turned to him and then came back into his arms, claiming his lips again. He’d missed this, he couldn’t lie, but his biggest problem had been trying to make her believe that this wasn’t all he wanted from her. Fire spread through his body as she awakened everything that had died when she’d left. Need almost crippled him as she pressed herself into his body.
He was breathless when he lifted his head, and Evelyn was already working on the buttons of his shirt.
“Let’s wait. I love you, Evelyn and I’m not going anywhere,” he said as he trailed kisses all over her face. “This isn’t all I want from you.”
“Someone told me that it’s not mutually exclusive,” Evelyn answered, undoing the last button and opening his shirt. “And that I could ask for anything I want.”
And her eyes ate him up. He saw the look in her eyes as she brought her hands to touch him, and watched the way she bit her lip. As if he was still the most handsome man she had ever seen.
“You can fuck me senseless and still love me,” Evelyn said.
And his dick twitched in anticipation.
Evelyn stepped back from him and then slipped the straps of her dress down over her shoulders. The dress fell to her feet, leaving her in her lacy underwear, her Santa hat and the glowing band around her neck. The one that looked more and more like a collar the longer he saw it.
“I missed you, Roman. Make love to me.”
How could he say no to that?
It took him seconds to get rid of his clothes, and another few seconds to sit her on the edge of the small bed and then kneel in front of her.
Maybe it was the time he had spent away from her, but she tasted sweeter than he remembered. And the sounds she made hit his heart a little harder. Trapped between her thighs, he felt his heart fill up as he realised that he had done it. She was his. For the rest of their lives.
He didn’t wait for her to finish riding her wave before he rose over her and sank into her welcoming, greedy heat.
“I love you, Evelyn,” he whispered.
“I love you, too.”