Chapter 20: I love you Kosi
He took a deep breath, his thumb stroking the back of her hand, a silent reassurance. "I tried everything in my power to find you all these years, Kosi. Everything. To no avail. I won't let you leave me again. I truly, deeply love you." His voice cracked with emotion, and she saw a flicker of vulnerability in his usually steady eyes. "I am sorry if I am overwhelming you with this. You have every right to need time to think. And if you have already chosen someone else..." he swallowed hard, the unspoken pain evident in the set of his mouth, "...then I will give my blessing. I will stay single for the rest of my life. Your children," his voice softened, a hint of a smile touching his lips, "will be my Godchildren."
His other hand moved, his touch feather-light as he brushed away the tears that were now silently streaming down Kosi's face. Her own emotions were a tangled mess, a whirlwind of confusion, disbelief, and a hesitant joy. Did she dare to trust this? Could it really be this simple? She loved him, had loved him for so long, but the weight of her past felt like an insurmountable barrier.
She lifted her head, meeting his gaze, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "John," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion, "all I ever wanted was to see you happy. I left you because I thought it would help you move on, if you had felt the same way I did." A fresh wave of tears threatened to spill over, and she blinked them back. "John, I've loved you since I was a young teenager. I chose your happiness over my own, thinking I was protecting you from my problems."
Her voice dropped to a choked whisper as she confessed her darkest secret. "Even my virginity, the only gift I ever wanted to give to you, was ruthlessly taken from me." She saw a flash of pain in John's eyes, a muscle twitching in his jaw, but he remained silent, letting her speak. "John, you have to understand. You deserve so much better. I was raped three times. I was just a thing, a bargaining chip in Victor's business collaborations. You deserve the best, John, not someone like me." Her voice broke completely on the last word, a sob escaping her lips as the raw reality of her trauma washed over her again.
John pulled her close, engulfing her in a fierce hug. His own tears flowed freely now, hot and damp against her hair. "My love," he choked out, his voice thick with emotion, "you mean the world to me. To me, you are pure, the most precious thing. You deserve a life filled with beauty, a life I long to give you. I am the one who is unworthy, Kosi. You are strong, so incredibly smart, and breathtakingly beautiful."
His grip tightened, a desperate plea in the embrace. "I love you, Kosi. My life will only have meaning, only have light, if I have you by my side. If you don't believe me, if you need proof, we can swear a blood oath, right here, right now." His voice was raw with sincerity. "Please, my Kosi, don't cry anymore. It tears me apart to see your pain."
Kosi gently moved her hands to his chest, pushing him back just enough to look into his tear-filled eyes. A wave of warmth and love washed over her, but it was quickly followed by a surge of self-doubt. She composed herself, drawing a shaky breath, and met his gaze, her own hardening with a sudden resolve. Despite the love that still burned within her for him, she felt a sting of foolishness. Had she been wrong to let her guard down, to show him such raw vulnerability?
A flicker of defiance ignited within her. "I have Nosy and K as my family," she stated, her voice firm despite the lingering tremor. "Why am I being so weak in front of someone unrelated?"
Kosi's brow furrowed, a shadow of suspicion clouding her eyes. She turned away from John, a sudden coolness radiating from her. "What about your fiancée, John?" she asked, her voice sharp and laced with an unfamiliar iciness. "I am not stupid, and I am certainly not some slut. Thank you for today, John. I am glad to have seen you, even though I missed you terribly. But you have a partner now, and I have to respect that." Her demeanor had shifted completely, the vulnerable woman from the warehouse now replaced by someone guarded and distant.
.
John stared at her, confusion etched on his face. "When did I ever have a fiancée? Or did you send your sister to me, thinking I would marry her instead?" His eyes searched hers, pleading for understanding. "But it would still be you, Kosi. Always you. Please, just take a few days, think about us. And never send another woman my way, because you are the only one I want."
Kosi's anger flared, her eyes narrowing. "What does he take me for?" she thought, her chest tightening. Has he developed a habit of lying? She looked at him as if he'd sprouted another head. "Lilly is your fiancée, John. She's always by your side. Why are you lying to me? I already gave you my blessing. I just want you to be happy. Why are you trying to deceive me? Just leave, John." Her voice was cold, dismissive.
John reeled back from her outburst, the air thick with unspoken accusations. He took a long, steadying breath, trying to quell the turmoil within him. "Lilly is just a friend, Kosi. And when she told me about her feelings for me I rejected her. I told her I love someone else." He saw the doubt still lingering in her eyes, the unwavering disbelief. He pressed on, his voice earnest. "Kosi, please, let me prove it to you." He swiftly pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Lilly's number.