Chapter 36: What are we?

SOFIA'S POV

"Okay guys Luca and i are going to call it a night," Mila slurs slightly.

"We are?" He furrows his eyebrows but she's already pulling him ro her beddroom.

"We should get going," Paolo says grabbing his jacket. His boyfriend is still trying to wash down rhe drinks he had with water.

"You're not leaving. You can sleep in the spare room," Nova says abruptly.

"And where will you sleep, Castiello?" I ask her resting my hands on my sides.

"In your bedroom Tinks,"she walks past me heading to my bedroom and I just stand there processing her boldness. She treats my room like a sacred place she's not brave enough to enter.

Paolo helps his boyfriend to the room, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. I fold up the blankets and make sure everything is as organised before heading to my room.

Nova's seated at the edge like a guest awaiting instructions.

" Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because i need clothes to sleep in," she smirks taking her shirt off revealing her laced bra. Is she seducing me? Because it's clearly working. I turn to my closet in a swift motion and grab one of my oversized t-shirts. I throw it to her and her reflexes are quick to catch it. She strips down to her panties before unhooking her bra and suddenly remembering how to breathe feels embarrassingly difficult.

"I like when you look at me like that," she comments making my cheeks flush. She caught me. How does one quick glance turn into seduction? She gets under the covers and I can't help but feel happy that she's in my clothes.

"Aren't you going to change?"

"Umm yeah...right...I should umm change,"

A nervous chuckle fills the room. I've only undressed infront of her at the hotel and the lights were dim. "I won't look,"

"No, I....I want you to. I mean i don't mind,"

"Okay Tinkerbell,"

I strip down fully to my underwear because I don't wear bras with tight tank tops. I feel eyes on me but I dont feel cautious. Because she's handled my body before and it reminded of parts I had forgotten to pay attention to. "Your so beautiful," she mutters as I join her turning the lights off. Moonlight always calms me.

She pulls me closer to her so my head is against her chest. It feels nice to just be in this moment like this, with her.

"The scar on your hand...I don't think I've seen it properly before," she says. I forgot I had that one.

"It's a funny story actually,"

"i could use some humor," her voice is so soothing.

"My sisters and I were riding our bikes back home and this group of boys started racing us. I was older and knew better so I told them to ignore them. Alyssa...you would have liked her. She started racing them when she saw one of them throw me off balance. I fell on a sharp stone. I didn't notice I was bleeding until Ayla started crying. She raced home to get my parents and Alyssa vowed to beat them up when she was older and stronger,"

"Did she?"

"No...she humiliated them though. No girl talked to those boys for the rest of high-school,"

I blink my tears away at the realisation that they always stood up for me. I haven't talked about them to anyone. I figured no one would see the point of talking about people who are dead.

"Tinks?"

"Hmmm?"

"Your sisters were lucky to have you. I'm sorry you had to carry that all by yourself."

"I have my dad,"

"I know, but your still putting yourself out there instead of hiding away,"

I pause.

I feel her soft lips plant a kiss on my forehead, pulling me even closer so I can inhale her scent.

"I'm still hiding Nova," I say almost in a whisper.

"Is that why you moved to Milan?"

"I just didn't want my dad to feel like he failed as a dad again," I say genuinely. I saw him when he thought I was asleep. He'd sit outside with a glass of whatever whiskey he'd chosen. Mom always said that he only drank like that when his thoughts were drowning him from inside. When I chose to move to Milan everything started feeling normal. He started living again, because I started living.

"And now? Is it better?"

"Let's just go to sleep, please," I say. I don't like lying and something about me telling her that sometimes I want my illness to end and take me with it, tells me that she might see me differently. That I'm ungrateful or inconsiderate. That I liked her and wanted her but I also don't want to live on some days.

"Okay. But I'm here Sofia and you're not alone anymore,"

Her voice fades into the sound of the streets and I drift off to sleep from her warmth. I think i can get used to sleeping like this, with someone holding me like they might lose me.

My alarm goes off early stirring me awake. The side that never slept on is replaced with one of my pillows. She left? I thought she said it was a sleepover. I get off the bed and head to the bathroom opening the door with my free hand over my mouth to cover my yawn. "Sofia?" I jump at the sudden voice because my eyes were closed. She's on the toilet seat with her hair in a messy bun but a few strands manage to fall to her face.

"Oh my God! I'm sorry..I thought...nevermind I'll be outside gouging my eyes out," I say shutting the door before she can say anything.

I fall face flat on the bed feeling a wave of embarrassment because I don't think we're there yet.

"Tinkerbell?"

"She's jumped off the window," I mutter through the mattress.

I feel her lift me up suddenly so now I'm standing and facing her. She cups my face gently pulling it to her and I tiptoe closing the small distance between us. I forgot how wobbly my feet get whenever I kiss her like this.

"You're so adorable. And I dont mind you walking in on me peeing. I like you," she says.

"Shouldn't I be the one that's down bad?"

"Kinda lowered your score when you almost died from embarrassment five seconds ago," she teases and i just chuckle.

The living room is still empty so I conclude that we're the only ones up early. Why was she up earlier than me though? She's barely a morning person.

"Why were you up early?"

"I wanted to make you breakfast then I remembered you only eat what you make,"

"Who told you that?" I laugh softly at the assumption.

"Mila. And your meals are always prepped."

"That's because Mila doesn't cook and has no time to read through the ingredients on products,"I say genuinely. I love Mila but putting my health in her hands is like summoning high blood pressure for my dad.

"I'd read through the ingredients,"

"You barely read books unless it's course work,"

She chuckles.

"I want to learn how to make life easier for you Tinks. I mean that," she says and there goes my heart beat again. I plaster a warm smile across my lips because I don't know how else to react to that. She's been so open like her father doesn't hate what we are.

"Okay then we can start with pancakes,"I say throwing her the spare apron i got for Mila. She mixes the flour as per my instructions and the nodding when I explain what the ingredients mean when choosing stuff for me, tells me she's understood.

I pour the last bit of the pancake mix onto the pan feeling her hands snake around my waist from behind. She plants kisses on my neck making me giggle at her getting to my tickle spots.

"I like that sound. It's cute," she says softly. I turn to face her before she pulls me away from the heat. Her soft, plump pink lips are so addictive.

"Eeyeww don't get saliva on the pancakes," Mila says making me pull away from the kiss abruptly.

"Morning guys, we're gonna go. I have school later," Paolo says in full view with his boyfriend putting on his jacket.

"Can you atleast carry some pancakes? We made enough for everyone,"

"Can you say it louder for Mila? Her hosting skills are always missing the breakfast aspect,"

"I order sometimes," Mila defends.

"It's not the same babe," Paolo says grabbing the chocolate chip pancakes I've set aside for him.

We watch them leave so it's now just the three of us before Luca appears.

"Morning babyy," Mila pounces on him showering him with kisses. Didn't they share the same bed?

I feel Nova's hot breath fan my ear.

"You know you could also do that right? I'm all yours,"

"I'm not even your girlfriend Castiello," I snap walking away from her. Did I think about the way things unfolded between us? Yes. Alot. I know she's in an arranged engagement and that bars her from labeling things with me but I also don't want to be in an undefined love affair. I owe myself some grounding.