Chapter 22: A little confused

SOFIA'S POV

"I think it's you who's forgotten your place,"

Nova's voice is firmer now. She reaches for my hand pulling me away from the surprised lot. I look back to Delia still displaying her usual grin. Maybe her friends were right, and this is a game they both like to play.

Once we're outsde she stops, lets go of my hand then runs her fingers through her hair.

"Do you really like me or you're doing it to spite Delia?" I ask finally. Not because i want her to admit it but because I need to here those words from her. "Go home Tinkerbell, please," is all she says, taking a step back.

"You don't get to do that. I decide what's best for me. If you're too scared to be yourself then that's on you,"

"Take a look around, this IS me,"

"So the boat, what you did earlier, this necklace....is it all just...an act?"

She pauses. Her eyes fixated on my neck, where the necklace is. She swallows her saliva, jaws clenched.

She moves closer, dangerously close. Her hands cup my face, pulling it to her. Her soft plump brush over my thick ones, before crashing them on mine. Like she was making a statement. This wasn't like the other times. It felt raw, in sync and intentional. I place my hands on her sides for support before she pulls away abruptly.

"Please go, before I throw everything away for you,"

Her voice is low, almost quiet. I walk away from her to my car more confused than before. She walks over to the same black Mercedes getting in the back seat and it drives off.

I start the car, driving off to the apartment. What did she mean throw everything away for me? My phone rings as I get into the apartment and I pick up.

"Hey Sofia,"

"Hey dad,"

"How was your birthday? Did you like the flowers?"

"I did. They were the highlight of my day,"I say.

"Are you okay mia figlia? You sound sad,"

"Don't you think if someone really likes you they'll find a way? Or they need you to reassure them that they won'tget hurt?" I blurt out.

"Is this about Nova Castiello? I saw the piano song she sang for you. I think it's thoughtful,"

"But she's confusing. I asked her if she liked me and she didn't say anything,"

"Do you know why she reacted that way? How well do you know the Castiellos, Sofie?" He asks like the reasonable parent he is making me reflect on my own actions. I didn't take time to really know her. She knows almost everything about me and I know her by reputation and how she treats me.

"Are you calling me out?"

He chuckles.

"Sometimes it's not just about how you feel for someone, it's how curious and accepting you are of them,"

"I really love you, you know? You're the best dad anyone could ask for," I praise and he just sighs dramatically, like i just gave him an award.

"You mean so much to me. More than you know young lady. But I also called to remind you about the signature piece for your collection. I already love the latest peices you sent. I'm coming to Milan for the school basketball championship," he says and i don't know how to react to that. I'm not ready to let people know. But he's a part of me and it's inevitable.

"I'm almost done with it. People will-"

"I'm sponsoring the game. I didn't want to tell you because your girlfriend is the captain,"

"She's not my girlfriend,"

"It's okay. We'll have dinner after the game. There's something I want to talk to you about."

I hum in response before we bid our goodbyes for the night. Maybe if I really get to know her and the things she likes, she'll believe me when I say i really like her and her reputation doesn't matter to me.

A texts comes in from Mila saying she's sleeping over at Luca's so its just me for tonight.

Sometimes I miss how easy it was for me to run to my mom for anything and everything. How she was always hapoy around my stepdad. I don't think I ever saw her sad or low when they were together.

I freshen up, taking my make up off and settle for a movie my sisters and I used to love binge watching. I never really asked or thought about it, but how did their boyfriends get through it? The last time I saw them was at the funeral and neither of them looked as half composed as i had tried to be.

I reach for my phone ̂e from time to time to check for any notification from her.

Me: Can you meet me in lecture room 4 tomorrow at 12pm? I have something i want to show you.

Three floating dots appear before they disappear. I really want to know her, for her. I may not know what her friends have on her, but I won't let them prover her right in pushing people away. She's not shallow. I've seen depth in the way she cares about me. The way she hesitates before acting because she knows what her actions mean.

What is it about her really, that makes me want to fight the world just to see her smile? Just to hear her accept that her life is hers and hers alone, not a simulation for people like Delia to play.

I take my medication when my reminder goes off, relieved that I can finally give in to my sleep because I was struggling to keep my eyelids fully open.

My phone vibrates on the bed as I fluff my pillows.

Castiello: Already finding make out spots? I must really be that good of a kisser.

Me: like I'd let you make me that needy on campus.

Castiello: So you want me?

Me: photo Badly

Castiello: Voice message

I hesitate but play it. I was just teasing her.

"That photo is doing dangerous things to me, Tinkerbell. You say you wouldn't let me make you that needy on campus... but I think we both know I could have you making all sorts of noises in the back of the library if I really wanted to. See you soon."

I replay it again, first to focus on the low chuckle at the beginning, then to hear her voice that low, raspy and sexy.

And she doubts why I like her? She's all sorts of bad for me and I like how she is beyond surface level. She's a lot different from the Captain everyone knows. Maybe that's why I can't stop thinking about how good it feels when she kisses me like that.

When she kisses me first.

My phone rings snapping me out of my daze. I fix my voice before picking up.

"Can't sleep?" She chuckles.

"I can, I just need you to say goodnight to me first. Somehow that calms me,"

I pause, feeling my face grows wider.

"Goodnight, Castiello,"

"You're gonna have to sound less nervous, baby"

Baby? Is she still intoxicated? She's never called me that.

"Goodnight Castiello. Try not to dream about me,"

A pause. Then the call cuts. That was it? She really just called to hear me say that?