Chapter 26(The Mating 2)
Kaelenya pov
The hours moved so slow, like they were stuck. I just wanted this to be done with. I sat on the edge of the bed and just stared at the door. My heart kept beating fast, and my hands were wet with sweat. I tried to breathe slow, to calm my nerves , but the storm inside me would not stop. It kept moving and shaking me even when I closed my eyes.
My eyes glued to the clock on the wall ticking like it wanted to remind me of every second. I counted the sounds in my head. One, two, three. I hugged my arms around my body, rocking back and forth. This wasn't the first time, so why was I feeling this way.
At eleven, the door opened, the door opened and Roman strolled in. He looked the same as always. Broad shoulders. Sharp eyes. The smell of trees and cold wind followed him. His face was hard as usual…No smile. No softness…just cold. It was like he had left all his feelings outside. His eyes swept over me with disgust, like I was something he didn't even want to be close to, and the feeling was mutual.
I stood in front of him, with my head bowed. “Good evening Alpha…”
“Lie down,” he cut me off. His voice was deep and even.
I moved without thinking, and lay back on the bed as I had been thought. What else could I do? My body obeyed before my mind even answered. I am only but his property, and he can do with me, however he pleases.
He cleared his voice, turned off the light and walked toward me. His steps were slow but sure. He did not rush, he moved like he was following a rule. His hands were steady when he touched me, and his eyes stayed dark and cold. He placed me where he wanted, like he always did. There was no soft touch…No pause….No warmth, Just…coldness.
The mattress sank under his weight, and I felt the bed press down, with his body so close to mine, as the air around us grew smaller. My chest felt tight, and I tried not to move.
Inside my head, I was screaming, I wanted to push him away, I wanted to shout until the walls broke. But I stayed still. My face turned to the other side, and my eyes stared at the ceiling. My lips stayed closed, while my heart beat so loud it hurt my ears.
As he thrusted inside me, all I could think about was the baby we lost. I thought of the small life that never came. I thought of the nights I cried alone while he stayed away. Nights when the house was silent and only my tears spoke. I thought of the freedom I once dreamed of, a life where I could run, where I could breathe. But those dreams felt far away now, like smoke in the wind.
Roman kept moving in and out of me, and I felt nothing, not even the smallest sensation. I have always heard stories of how beautiful and powerful love making was...but this wasn't love making, this was....To him, this was a task. Just another job that must be carried out. Something to finish, but to me, it was pain and bitterness. It was a constant reminder that I was worth nothing, and will never be loved or seen.
When it was over, he rose without a word. He fixed his trouser quickly, like something was chasing him. Then his eyes met mine for a short moment, they were sharp but empty. I quickly turned away, who was I to look into the eyes of the Almighty Alpha Roman. He took a deep breath and walked to the door. He stood by the door, turned back to me with his eyes sweeping the whole room. He took a deep breath, twisted the knob, and walked out. The door closed with a soft click that echoed in every corner of the room.
I stayed on the bed as usual , waiting for the time set for me by the head maid to elapse. The room smelled like him, and I hated it. I didn't want to be reminded of his presence. The air felt heavy and strange, and my body felt cold even though my skin was warm. I wanted to cry, but no tears came. I guess I had no tears left, I was just...dry now.
I took a deep breath and listened to my heartbeat. Slow, and steady. I know that people who are truly inlove, nights like this will be magical. There love making will be so passionate and filled with moans, and cuddling…I wish I could experience something like that in this lifetime, but I guess my fate is already decided.
My eyes turned to the timer set by the head maid, and it had ran out. I had asked her why she always set this timer, and she said, for the whole sperm to go inside, without any dropping out. I slowly stood up and walked to the bathroom to wash out the smell of Roman from my body. I scrubbed so hard like I was dirty, and I wanted to be clean so badly. As the water poured on me, I felt fresh. When I was done, I just laid on the bed blankly, staring at the ceiling.
The night stretched on, and the dark walls felt closer. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but my mind wouldn't just let me. It kept whispering small thoughts. Maybe one day things will change. Maybe. But not tonight. Tonight there was only silence. Only the quiet sound of my heart and the small promise of another dawn. A dawn I never asked for but will still meet. A dawn that will come whether I want it or not.
I stayed like that for a long time. Breathing, waiting, and begging for sleep to come, but just like my love life, it never came.