Something deeper
Raven
I have no idea what the hell came over me in this moment. I moved without even really thinking about it. Next thing I know I am holding a knife where the hell did I get it from? to her throat. To her credit she just glared at me, taking a hold of my hand breaking it slowy as the knife dropped to the floor. I screamed at the pain in my hand. When I stood a few steps away from her with horror in my eyes.
"You broke my hand!!" I bellowed at her, anger still building to something I didn't know.
"Yes well you did put a knife to my throat. Was I suppused to just stand here and let you harm me?" The words dripped with sweetness.
"I hate you!!" I screamed at her with all the anger in my voice.
"It would seem that you hate everyone around you." She looked around the room. "I gave you a room to sleep in, give you blood everyday. Yet you hate everyone and everything."
"I don't need your stuff." I screamed with such hate in my heart.
"Then go ahead, leave. I am sure you could find a place to sleep that no one will find you and harm you. Such a young vampire thinking that she can rule the world and harm everyone without consequences. That isn't how life works Raven. You have to deal with others. The more you hate the more it will grow. People will turn on you and never been there for you again. Take that into mind when you treat people like this." Power surged in her words as she spoke.
"Fine" I turned to grab a few things.
"Oh no my dear, everything in this room stays here." She chripped at me with a bright smile.
"What? You can't be serious. The clothes are mine." I told her with a glare to the closet of clothes. Mom had bought them for me. "But you just said you don't need the stuff. You treated your mother like dirt so why would you need those things."
I felt the tears building then start sliding down my face. All the anger that had built in me faded slowly as the tears streamed down my face. She didn't come toward me to comfort my hurt. Instead she watched me crumble to the floor. I didn't know why I was so pissed off all the time, I needed them in my life. I needed my family. Even with the look in her eyes I could see that she didn't like treating me like this. Though it would seem that she woudn't stop if I didn't figure myself out.
"Why?" I asked when I sobbed. Swiping the tears off my face.
"You are the only one that can answer that. Maybe you need to think about these things before you hurt others with words that you don't seem to like." My grandmother stood looking down at me.
"I-I can't." I sputtered out as more tears slipped down my face.
"You're the only one that can fix what you broke. Maybe you should think before you speak." She told me holding out a tissue.
"What?" I looked up at her taking the tissue.
"You love to say almost everything that comes in your mind. Maybe think frist." She told me again as she turned and left the room.
Leaving me in a pile on the floor. She might be right but all I felt most days was anger. I know I love my family, but it wasn't a feeling I really understood. Almost an hour later Luican came into the room looking at me like I had lost my mind. Putting his hand out to help me up. Taking his hand I sighed when I got to my feet again.
"Still want me to leave?" Lucian asked letting my hand go.
"I didn't want you to leave to start with." I tell him but could see the sadness in his eyes.
"Well the door almost smashing my face open tells me something else." Lucian told me as he sat on the bed.
"Lucian I didn't want to hurt you. I just..I don't know." I sighed trying to hide the anger. To put it in a box leaving it there.
"You have always been a bit moody." Lucian told me with a sigh. "It is like you missing out on the emotions when they handed them out. Instead you took all the anger."
I really couldn't help but laugh at what he said. It was something he could always do. Make me laugh at the little things he did or said. Flopping down on the bed with him I looked at my twin. We had been there for each other from the start. Maybe I needed to be more like him. He was carefree when it came to lilfe. I however went about my days being angry. I needed to find a way to make things up with mom. She didn't deserve the things I had said or done. I just didn't know how.
"Maybe dear sister, you need to try and talk to someone about what is going on. It is easy to let out burst of anger but to see if you have other emotions." Lucian smiled at me as he spoke.
"I don't think I have a choice in that one. Being here has showed me that mom and dad are better than grandmom." I told him with a smile. "I never saw this side of grandma. I really thought it would be a cake walk here. I was very wrong."
"She loves mom beause she made dad a better man. That she brought us into the world. I know that dad said that she was a warror in her time. So the fact that you tried to cut her throat wouldn't even bother her. At least your hand is healing." Lucian pointed to my hand. "Did you really think you could take her?"
"I wish I had listened to the stories about her. I don't know what I was thinking to be honest. Where the knife even came from is what gets me." I told him with a small smile.
"So are you going to try and fix things?" Lucian finally asked as he pulled the knife out of the floor.
"I really have no idea how." I sigh as he looks at the knife.
"This is a strange knife." Lucian turned it over in his hand. The handle was ornate, old as well. "I think this is a sacrificial knife. Old but I am not sure how old."
"What?" I looked at him as he turned the knife over in his hand. "I didn't notice."