Chapter 115 Ch. 85
"You heard what she said," Lorenzo said, pacing the length of the study while the clock on the wall ticked through the silence of the night. Dinner had been over an hour ago, but Lorenzo called them—except Zara and Ethan—into his study. He looked over at Dylan, then at Imogen, his face filled with a kind of worry he usually hid. Ivanna had gone home earlier to rest because she had work in the morning, leaving the three of them alone in the study.
"War is coming, and my men need to be prepared for it," Lorenzo continued, stopping by his desk to stare at the papers he had spread out. "I need you to do what you did for Ivanna. Use Zara’s blood to give them strength, but find a way to do it without binding her to every single one."
"It is not that simple, Lorenzo," Imogen said, leaning against the bookshelf with her arms crossed over her chest. She looked bored, but there was a flicker of something else in her eyes as she watched him. "What we did for Ivanna worked because we used Dylan’s blood first. Zara’s blood was just a catalyst—it added more energy because Dylan’s wasn’t strong enough, and sped things up before her soul was fully taken by Azrith.”
“She will have powers? Yes? Life can't be the only thing it gave her.”
“Ivanna can’t manifest the powers from Zara’s blood until very much later.”
"Then do something similar," Lorenzo snapped, his voice rising. "We need as much power as we can get if we are going to attack first but as fast as possible. People already know we have her, and they will be coming for her soon."
"Or maybe you just want an unfair advantage over the other clans," Imogen countered, a small, mocking smile playing on her lips. She didn't seem bored by his anger. "You talk about protection, but you really just want to be the biggest wolf in the forest."
"I am protecting this house," Lorenzo growled, slamming his hand down on the desk so hard the papers fluttered. "Unless you want her dead? Don't you owe her mother that much? To keep her daughter alive and whole?"
"Do not bring her mother into this," Imogen whispered, her smile vanishing instantly. She stood up straight, her fingers curling into the wood of the shelf behind her.
"Why not? She trusted you, didn't she?" Lorenzo asked, stepping into the light of the lamp. "She thought you were the one person who would look out for Zara. If the other clans get their hands on her, they won't be as kind as I am. They will drain her until there is nothing left but a shell."
"You are already draining her," Dylan interjected, speaking up for the first time from his seat in the corner. He looked tired, his eyes dark with a lack of sleep. "She is pale and now she is having visions that knock her out. How much more can she actually give before she breaks?”
"She will give what she has to," Lorenzo said, not looking at his brother. "And all that was not because of me. I gave her time to recover before this afternoon when she and Imogen met. Imogen, start the preparations tomorrow. I want the first group of men ready by sunset."
"I will see what I can do," Imogen said, her voice flat. She turned and walked toward the door. "But if she dies because you pushed too hard, that is on your head, not mine."
She left the room without waiting for a reply, even though she had no intentions of listening. She had to find an excuse as to why it wasn’t possible now; and as to why Zara needed to work on her own powers. A bright idea flashed through her mind just then, so she turned back towards the study.
“Yes?” Lorenzo asked.
“You realize that if the girl can't manifest her own powers, it’ll be useless to you?”
“I read, Imogen. You can’t fool me.”
“You read, but I practice,” she answered. “There’s never any benefit in rushing.”
“You heard what she said… war. Dead bodies.”
“And?”
Lorenzo huffed. “Do whatever it takes. I just need her useful.”
The moon cast long blue shadows across the floor from where it filtered its way in through the curtains. Zara was lying on her side, her fingers tracing the small mark on her neck. Ethan was lying right beside her, so close that she could feel the heat radiating off his body.
"It hurts, doesn't it?" Ethan asked in a murmur. He reached out and gently moved her hand away so he could rub the side of her neck with his thumb. His touch was soft, as if he were afraid she might hurt if he pressed too hard.
"I am fine, Ethan," Zara said, though she didn't move away. She closed her eyes, leaning into his hand. "It is just a little sore."
"I am sorry," he whispered, his thumb slowing down as he looked at her.
“Stop saying sorry.”
“I’m sorry… I just… I hate that I have to do this to you. I hate that my father is making us live like this."
"There is nothing to be sorry for," she said, opening her eyes to look at him. "You needed it. You were shaking earlier, and I couldn't just watch you starve yourself. It's just blood."
"It isn't just blood, it's yours," Ethan said, his face twisting with a mix of guilt and something else that looked like hunger. "I should be the one protecting you, not the one taking things from you."
"You are protecting me," Zara insisted, reaching up to touch his cheek. His skin was cool, but his eyes were burning as he watched her. "You took those bruises for me when you came to look. Risked your life… That counts for more than a few drops of blood."
"I would go back there a thousand times if it meant you were safe," he muttered.
"I know you would," she whispered.
“Do you miss school?” she asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Yeah. Kinda want to get the fuck outta here.”
“I don’t really miss school. But I miss Noah.”
Ethan rolled his eyes before he could stop himself. At first, he had been cool with Noah, but now the thought and mention of his name sent something prickling beneath his skin.
“What?” she chuckled nervously. “He’s my friend.”
“I don’t see you missing Prunella, or other friends,” he muttered, unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice.
“Well, he’s like… my best friend.”
“Hm,” he replied sarcastically.
“Wait…” she drawled, leaning up a bit so that her face hovered above his. “Are you like… jealous?”
Ethan scoffed and looked away. “Yeah, you wish,” he said drily.
“Really?” she teased.
“I’ve no reason to be. We’re not a thing,” he said, still avoiding her eyes.
“Right,” she muttered, sinking back, disappointment crawling through her. She had reveled in that moment for a bit—that maybe Ethan saw her the same way she saw him.
He had kissed her that night—a kiss filled with so much need and desperation. They hadn’t talked about it since because of his father, and now it seemed like it didn’t mean anything.
Or was he just saying that to act like he didn’t care?
They lay there in silence for a moment, just breathing the same air. Zara felt a strange flutter in her chest. She watched the way the moonlight caught the edge of his jaw and the messy strands of his hair.
"Zara?" he asked after a few more minutes.
"Yeah?"
"I don't think I can keep pretending that I care or I'm just doing this because of the bond or my life, or to rebel against my father," he said, his hand moving from her neck to the side of her face. He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering there.
"What do you mean?" she asked, her heart hammering against her ribs.
“I was…” he swallowed hard. “Jealous.”
Zara blinked.
“I like you… I’ve always liked you even before any of this.”
“You hated me…”
“No. I hated that you knew I was… a monster? That you wouldn’t let it go… and that knowing would get you killed because you couldn’t be compelled.”
“Oh.”
He leaned in then, closing the small gap between them, studying her eyes for a bit as if seeking permission.
Zara bit her lip softly, not sure what to say. Then she closed her eyes and waited.
His soft lips met hers. It was a gentle brush that made her breath catch. At first, he was afraid she’d pull away, but she didn’t. Zara leaned in, her hand sliding up to rest on his chest.
Ethan’s mouth moved against hers, his tongue slipping past her lips when she opened them for him. A quiet sound escaped her, and she felt him smile against her mouth before he kissed her deeper.
His hand tightened on her waist, pulling her closer until there was no space left between them. Zara’s fingers curled into his hair, tugging just enough to make him groan low in his throat. His tongue stroked hers needily.
He nipped her bottom lip, gentle but enough to make her gasp, then soothed it with his tongue.
Heat rushed through her, pooling low in her stomach. She pressed herself against him, wanting more, and he answered by kissing her harder and hungrier, like he couldn’t get close enough.
Ethan pulled back for a second, his forehead resting against hers as they both gasped for air.
“I love you,” were the words he wanted to say, but they remained stuck in his throat. It was too soon, but at least he knew what he felt for her was different than he had ever felt in his years of living. He was scared that maybe she wouldn’t say it, or it’ll ruin the moment.
He kissed her again, his hand slipping under the edge of her shirt to touch the warm skin of her back. She shivered at the cool feel of his fingers, but she pressed closer, wanting more.
Her own hands tugged at his shirt, pulling it up and off, and she ran her palms over his hard and muscular chest.
Ethan made a low sound in his throat, and he rolled them over gently so she lay beneath him, his elbows holding him up so he did not press down too hard. Their legs were tangled together, and she wrapped one arm around his neck to keep him close.
They kissed for a long time, mouths moving together, hands exploring slowly and carefully, learning each curve and line.
The rest of their clothes came off, piece by piece, until nothing separated their skin.
“Do you… want to?” he asked in a soft tone.
“Yeah.” Her voice cracked a little. “Wait, I’ve… I’ve never…”
“It’s okay… I’ll be slow.”
She swallowed and nodded, bracing herself for that moment while trying to distract herself. Her eyes moved to the side and then she gasped as he prodded her, his tip sliding in. The pain was almost blinding.
She gritted her teeth, focusing on his hands tracing her hips instead of the pain of him moving inside her.
Ethan paused, noticing her discomfort immediately. “Are you okay?”
She said nothing, not wanting to ruin the moment.
Ethan got off, sinking into the bed beside her. The last thing he wanted to do was cause her any more pain than he already had. She was just too…
Zara felt relieved, but for a second, guilt prodded her chest. She wondered if he was disappointed, but the thought died in her mind as he pulled her closer, hugging her tightly.
“I love you.”