(Freya's POV).
"Are you sure you don't need to go to the hospital?" Jason asked after he helped me sit back on the bed.
"Yes. I'm fine, Jason. Just a little dizzy and nauseous," I told him.
He looked back at me like he was checking with his eyes. But I tried to smile and keep him from worrying too much.
"I'm good, Jason. You don't have to worry."
"Then, can you eat some more of your porridge?" he asked.
"I'll try."
Jason took a spoonful of porridge and fed me. I tried to chew it slowly even though I already felt my stomach turn nauseous again. I almost threw up, but I wanted to hold it in. It happened repeatedly until I could only eat a few mouthfuls, and I refused to be fed again.
"Take the medicine first, then go back to rest," he said.
I nodded my head and took the medicine as he said.
"You'd better stay home tomorrow to rest. I'll go to the police station to take care of everything."
"But..."
"You're sick, Freya. Don't push yourself," Jason interrupted. I couldn't argue even after I saw his worried expression.
I nodded. "Okay."
"Good girl." He smiled as he gently stroked my hair. "Freya... you can count on me in any case. I'll always be there for you, so..."
"You've helped me too much, Jason. I'm thankful that you're always by my side. I don't know what else to say," I said. I felt both my hands being grasped tightly by him.
He looked down, took a deep breath, then looked at me intently. "Maybe this isn't the right time, but... I'm serious about you, Freya. Consider me well. I promise I'll take good care of you."
I'm speechless. I didn't know what to say. My heart was still broken from losing Theo and Devan's problems. I couldn't even think clearly about a relationship. I felt that my life had no meaning anymore. I felt like I was the bearer of bad luck.
I swallowed my saliva with difficulty. My tears wanted to come out.
"Jason, I can't...."
"Why?" he looked at me disappointedly.
"I don't want you to get hurt."
"What do you mean?"
"Mom and Theo... they died because of me. I don't want the same thing to happen to you," I sobbed. I looked at him with my tears already coming out. With my hands and lips trembling as I spoke. "I'm just a bad luck charm, Jason."
"Shush.. don't say things like that. You're not. And they didn't die because of you. You have no one to blame but yourself." I felt Jason's warm fingers rubbing my cheek gently, and I closed my eyes for a while.
"But all that happened. Theo wouldn't have died if I had insisted on not letting him out back then. He might still be alive now..."
"Fey, I told you it wasn't your fault."
I shook my head while crying. My eyes were blurred by my tears.
"I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like my world is shattered. There's no hope, no way out for me to find happiness. Everything is hopeless. There's no chance."
"There is," he whispered as he covered my face, "there is still me. I swear I'll make you happy, Freya. Just give me a chance and trust me. Hm?"
I looked at Jason who was staring at me intently. With his deep eyes. With his soft voice that feels so soothing. But I still didn't feel anything.
I love him, but it's not love.
"Freya, please..."
But with all the things Jason has done. How could I refuse a man as good as him?
I nod my head. And I can instantly see the relieved smile on his face. He carefully scooped my body into his arms and whispered in my ear.
"Thank you, Freya. I promise I'll take good care of you. I promise."
I returned his hug. I didn't know if my decision was right, but I wanted to try it with Jason. Getting love from a man that I didn't get from Devan. Moving on was the best way to forget my love for Devan.
He released his embrace and kissed my forehead. Smiling so brightly that I could see his dimples.
"Now, you'd better go back to sleep. I'll be in the living room working. If you need anything, you can just call me."
"Um," I muttered as I nodded my head.
I looked at Jason who walked out of the room. Trying to calm myself down by going back to sleep. Trying to close my eyes even though I always saw Theo smiling at me. And every time that happened, I felt my chest tighten.
I had lost the person who always held me unconditionally. Who always said everything would be fine with his bright smile.
As if Theo knew I needed him, he kind of gave that responsibility to Jason.
That's right?
My eyes reddened when I saw Theo in front of me. Smiling so brightly as always. And I ran towards him, trying to hug him tightly, but I tripped.
I squealed in pain. "Theo... No, no!" I shouted as I saw Theo moving away.
No, no...
I quickly got up and tried to run towards him. But Theo kept moving away from me. Further and further until I gasped as I saw his figure disappear.
My eyes widened with panic, my cry broke out and my whole body froze like ice.
"Theo! Where are you? Don't leave me!" I shouted while crying hysterically.
"Fey!"
I looked back as I heard a voice. I gasped in shock as I saw the familiar face that I had been missing.
"Mom?"
"Come here, my dear. Come here...."
I cried, trying to get closer to her. But her figure suddenly moved away from me and disappeared.
"No! No! Mom! Don't leave me! Mom!" My body shuddered with overwhelming fear. My legs felt weak and I fell. Everything was dark. I couldn't see anything. There was no one here.
Someone help me!
This is scary. I'm all alone here and there's no one. I need a hug. Theo, Mom, Dad... I need you... I need your hugs.
"Fey..."
"Freya..."
"Fre... ya...."
"Freya!"
I gasped. My breath hitched with my eyes widened perfectly as I opened my eyes and saw Jason in front of me. My body shivered with panic and shock. I felt my face wet with tears and at that moment Jason hugged me tightly. So tight that I felt like my body was going to break.
"Shit. You screamed so many times. I tried to wake you up." I hear Jason's voice vibrating in my ear. "You scared me, Freya."
I thought I had lost it all...
"J-Jason," I whispered as I hugged him tightly. Pouring out all my feelings and pain to him.