Chapter 8: Chapter Eight

The feel of Nate's lips on mine was just bringing back so many memories that I just got lost in the moment, enjoying the softness to his lips. I felt his fingers skimming over the bare skin just below my chest knowing me out of my daze, when I realized what I was doing. I quickly jerked back, stunned with how easily I was hooked to Nate.

Nate runs his tongue across his lip, taking advantage of my taste still lingering on his lips. Nate stands up straight and looks at me with a lust filled gaze, his eyes dropped to my lips again as I rub them together. "Loretta," he says in a rather husky voice that makes my legs go weak.

"I have to go I'm sorry" I stutter as I turn on my heel. That was my biggest mistake, letting him kiss me like that. I was doing so well in ignoring him, it was easy when it was just his voice that I had to avoid but when it's his touch, his lips that's going to make it impossible.

I stood in the parking surprised when I noticed Cameron's car was no longer parked where we left it. I dug inside my bag and saw a few missed calls from Cameron then a message saying that he needed to rush home and that I should just get a ride.

"Shit," I mutter, I tend to forget that Cameron is just my photographer and editor. He is always so welcoming to the idea of driving me around, being my assistant almost but in reality, it isn't his job.

A deep chuckle comes from behind me, I then realize that Nate is standing outside his car with a small smirk on his face, as I come to realize that Cameron had left me. He kicks off his left foot off the side of the pathway and pulls open the passenger door to his car.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out what he's implying. And to be honest, Nate is probably my only chance of getting without waiting around for a taxi. 

Reluctantly I walk over to him and slowly get inside. When he's happy that I'm safely inside his car he closes the door and walks over, back to the driver's side and slides in.

"Where to?" he asks me before signaling to turn right down the main road away from the building, I'm too busy staring at him as he drives that I couldn't quite remember the question he placed. "Loretta where am I taking you?" he asks again. A little irritation in his voice.

"Oh, right I'm staying at the Nevada for a few days so just take me there" I finally manage to reply to him. I did need to go back to the apartment to pick up a few things but the drive to the Nevada was shorter and I desperately wanted to get away from Nate. I could drive myself back to the apartment.

He nods his head in understanding, not asking me any questions and continues to drive down the road with such ease.

As we drove towards the hotel, I couldn't help but think back to everything that's happened. I wish I could just get over everything and just get things back to normal with Nate. To walk into his apartment, kiss him and cuddle for the rest of the night but my mind can't just forget, I mean I get it that he was protecting me but in the whole ordeal I was seriously hurt and I'm not sure if I am brave enough to put myself at risk by being with Nate again.

I was thankful when we pulled up outside the Nevada. I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door but was pulled back as Nate said my name.

"Loretta, I don't like this,” his voice stops me in my tracks, I turn slowly to face him. I watch the sad expression on his face, his eyes looking down as he sinks into his seat.

"I don't know how I can make things right again because I'm desperate for another chance," he says by grabbing my small hand in his. I don't know how to react, but Nate takes a deep breath when he realizes that I'm not trying to move away, to run away from him.

"I just need time Nate, please I haven't had time to think things through" his head falls, and he reluctantly let's go of my hand.

"Just let me breathe Nate"

I watched Nate scratch at his neck, I noticed the red marks on his skin. "I can do that, I'm sorry if I'm pressuring you "he admits as he sits up.

"I will be out of town for a few days, I can give you space, whatever you need" My mind raced with reasons as to why he would be leaving but I didn't want to push it. I had given him too much tonight.

"Thanks and thank you for tonight. What you've done is amazing, and I'm glad that I came out tonight I wouldn't want to miss it" I said. I could never get rid of the genuine happy faces of many of those students and especially Janice and peter as they really start living for themselves.

Nate reaches over and cups my cheek in his hands "no need to thank me, it should be me thanking you, I really hope you stop running away from me soon" he says with a darker tone, but also with a certain lightness.

I part my lips, but Nate stops me.

"Don't say anything" he covers my lips with his finger silencing me from the words that I wanted to say to him. "Not yet," he whispers before removing his finger from my lips leaving a burning sensation there.

I run my tongue across them closing them shut. Nate's breaths become uneven, and I mentally scowl at myself when I realize what I did right in front of him, I completely forgot how much he loves it when I do that.

But being the fucking tease that I am I just laugh at his discomfort. Nate only has the option to smile back at me and enjoy the playful atmosphere that has come from nowhere.

"Good night Loretta," he says leaning back over to his side.

"Goodnight" I mumble as I open the door, without him stopping me this time. He watches me carefully as I push the door closed and step away from his car.

I finally turned away from him and started to walk inside. I didn't see my parents here so after smiling at a few of the cleaners I walked through the double doors and started to go up the stairs. The hotel was getting the elevators updated with a more advanced system, so they were out of order for the time being.

I tried not to look but it was impossible. The door on the 3rd floor which had a red sign that read no entry. It had been in so many of my night terrors. The ones where I watched Drew point the gun at my head. The nightmare ended the same way. Nate would run in front of the gun and the trigger would be pulled.

Every night Nate died in my dreams. Every night I cried till I could no longer.

After delaying sleep for way too long I slipped into the cold blanket and let sleep take me.

I screamed when I hear the gunshot go off, my eyes snap open and I'm left looking at the empty room and the bed sheets ripped off me completely. I curse at the fact that even with seeing Nate earlier I still had this horrible nightmare. I really thought he would be able to eat away the guilt I have about that night.

A rapid banging on my room door practically scares the crap out of me. I quickly rush over to the door and open it. The blinding lights from the hallway leave me to just stand there trying to fully open my eyes.

"Dad!" I call out shocked when I recognize the concerned brown eyes of my father. His eyes aren't the gleaming happy ones I'm used to though, they now express pain.

I wasn't the only one suffering. Dad didn't like seeing me in emotional pain.

"Enough Loretta this can't happen again, you can't stay in this hotel the same place it's not logical or sane, you can take our bed and we will sleep on the floor if that's what it takes." I watch as he scrambles around the room packing random things in this suitcase he pulled through the door.

When I look through to the hallway, I find the teary eyes of my mother. Her hair was in a loose messy bun. Her clothes were loose, her eyes burning red.

"I agree with your father Retta, you can't be sleeping here not when it's still so fragile" she comes behind me and hugs me. I can feel her tears soaking my shirt.

How did they know I was having another nightmare, that's what I want to know? when I look back at my father, I can see him on the phone. I didn't realize how stressed my dad was with this. I told my parents about my nightmares last week and I guess I didn't think they would be this worried about me.

"Who are you calling?" I ask him, he quickly glances at me, but his eyes turn back when the call is picked up.

He moved into the living area of this hotel room. I look at the suitcase on the bed and decide to pack the remains of my personal belongings that I brought here.

I hear my father walk across the room and open the door, but I don't look.

I freeze as I hear my name being called out.

"Loretta." I turn and notice the pained expression on his face as he stares at me, my father standing behind him, mirroring that expression. "Why didn't you say something?" he adds. I can hear his thundering steps against the carpeted floor as he stands right in front of me.

I stare back at him with tears in my eyes, they gradually start to spill out and fall down my cheeks.

"Please touch me Nate," I beg as I don't believe that he is here. Maybe this is another dream.

Nate stares at me confused, his nose twitches as he angles his head. "What?"

I grab his hand and place it against my chest.

"In her dreams she watches you die Nate, that you jumped in front of her when Drew was going to "Dad stopped before saying the last word.

I feel Nate instantly pull me against his body, his hands wrapping around me, letting me feel every inch of him.

"I'm here Loretta, don't worry I'm here," he speaks gently into my ear, his lips grazing my neck, causing me to jerk against him.

"Come with me please, let me take you somewhere else,” he pleads with me. This time I didn't object.

"Take care of my baby," my mums voice calls out behind us. "Of course, she's my number one priority," Nate replies before slipping inside the elevator after me.

Nate helped me down the stairs and out of the lobby. He dragged my suitcase towards his car.

"Nate where are we going?" I call out to him as he picks up my case with such ease and securely puts it in the boot of his car.

After Nate shuts the car boot, he turns to me. "Loretta, your house is ready, that's where we will be going. Your father wanted to wait for the security to be updated but I will make sure your safe tonight." I simply nodded my head.

I don't ask him any other questions I just get into the passenger side. I know he probably is angry with me because I didn't tell him about the nightmares, but I honestly thought I could handle this myself.

Once Nate is happy with my seatbelt fastened, he proceeds to put the car in gear and reverse out of the car park. we continue to drive through the night to my new house. I had the whole day planned for when I was would officially move into my new house. Hannah and Angela would be there with me, we would drink to my future. To my new independence.

The atmosphere inside the car is tense to me and him. I can clearly see that by the way his hands are tightened around the wheel I can tell he's very tense right now and is bottling up what he really wants to say.

Nate reaches out and presses some buttons finally letting music play in the background, distracting him. I'm thankful that he did because I don't think I could take any more of this tense atmosphere.

We pass all kinds of buildings that light up the city, after each one my eyes seem to get more tired and I'm sure it won't be long before I'm asleep.

"Close them, Loretta," Nate's calm voice distracts me, when I see his gentle expression, my mind is at ease because I hope that he isn't mad at me anymore. "I'm scared," I say quietly cracking my fingers anxiously.

Nate's eyes widen slightly but he surprises me by grabbing my hand in his and resting it on the space between us.

"I'm here baby don't be scared." He rubs his thumb across my hand which calms me down a bit and actually makes me believe things will actually be alright. When he smiles gently at me, I take a deep breath and finally close my eyes and rest my head on the window.

Without even realizing it I begin to hum along with the ed Sheeran song that's playing through the speakers. Nate's thumb continues to trace patterns going back and forth.

This is what I miss, it's just been so long since I've had the chance to really relax.

I feel the car come to a slow stop and Nate takes his hand away from mine. I begin to feel his hand on my shoulder shaking me lightly. "Loretta we're here, come on," he urges me.

I slowly open my eyes and see his brown orbs staring back at me. Looking around I spot the house that I chose a few weeks ago.

When we walk through the double doors of the house, Nate holds my hand and helps me inside the lounge. It was empty, not one piece of furniture inside.

I follow behind him still very tired from the lack of sleep tonight. I doubt Nate was able to get any sleep either and I feel guilty since he was supposed to be leaving town and I had forced him here.

Nate finally pulled me through the house and towards one of the bedrooms. After we arrived in the bedroom, he helped me by removing my shoes and grabbing some pajamas from the bag he just opened. I wonder if he's going to undress me.

He surprised me by placing a kiss on my forehead before leaving the room letting me get undressed myself.

I walk into the bathroom that is joined onto the room and wash my face quickly. I can still fell the tears on my cheeks from where I've been crying.

Once all dressed, I walk out of the room and find that Nate has unpacked some of my belongings and removed the necessary things like my phone charger and laptop. How thoughtful of him I honestly really appreciate Nate at the minute. He didn't need to do this.

I slowly climb into the bed enjoying the soft material of my new bed. My mind wonders to what Nate plans to do next. Is he going to leave or stay I'm not quite sure?

When I'm settled in, I look towards the door to my room and find Nate staring at me with his back against the wall and his jacket in his hands. Ready to leave.

"Are you leaving?" I ask him with a hint of sadness in my voice because frankly I'd hate it if he left. Nate continues to keep his gaze on me "no" he says not even thinking about it.

My mouth breaks into a smile but I quickly make it disappear because I don't want him to realize that I'm happy that he's staying.

I settle into the bed, spreading me arms out. The new kind sized bed was the only thing I had in this room.

"Please sleep, I will just be in the other room. If I hear you whimper, scream or call out my name I will come in here and sleep next to you whether you like it or not," he says as he comes to the side of the bed. His demanding tone ringing in my ears 

He was serious, He looks down and seems to hesitate as my hand stretches out for him. I want him to hold me, but I know that it couldn't happen.

"Thank you for helping me Nate," I said as he turned to leave the room.

He pauses, his back still facing me. "Always Loretta," he spoke softly, leaving me alone again. Even though I was alone in this room I didn't feel like I was truly alone because Nate was here with me. 

"You make it sound like I have a choice he whispered to himself, but I heard him. Loud and clear.

Why am I punishing both of us?