Your Home Is With Me
"You say these words without thinking. You never think before you speak to me." If he only knew my sorrow when he was in a coma. If he was able to see the gut-wrenching misery I went through.
His eyebrows sink into a deep frown, "I merely answered your question. It is my truth. I need to protect myself, mate."
"All right." I answer, my voice low and quiet looking elsewhere all around to show I find something else interesting rather than speaking with him. He brings out my hidden pup like traits when I am with him. The way I pout, my actions, my words change. I become utterly spoilt and entitled. Only with him. Only him.
"Are you upset with me, that I brought Kal here? Did I frighten you?" He asks whilst getting up to stride around the table to come to where I sit. My teeth sink into my lower lip nervousness bubbling up within me with every step he takes.
"No, I am not upset. It was my fault, I overslept and it was your time with-" My breath is caught at the base of my throat to his sudden proximity. Squatting on the floor by my legs, his left palm clutching my chair handle. He looks up at me with a gentle smile. "Kal." I finish breathlessly.
I lean back this time and he merely watches my movement, the seriousness in his eyes has disappeared replaced by a cute playfulness towards me. Kal tugs on the collar of Deimos's shirt cooing and gargling being his usual self. A female cannot remain strong and not be swayed when her eyes are set on a father and his pup.
"I instructed Elriam to bring him to me, I did not step into that house you built." Deimos says as I frown at his words.
"It is not a mere house. It is my home." I declare.
"It is not your home, my female. Your home is with me." He says eyes striking into mine daring me to go against his words, rather the truth he speaks. The truth we both are aware of.
"That is for me to decide, Deimos." I strike back preparing to fight him on this matter. Not a serious fight but one merely just for the sake to prove my point.
He leans further into me barging into my personal space with no hesitation eyes dropping down to my lips and moving back up to meet my eyes. An action that speaks to me louder than words. His emeralds burn as wildfire and I hold my breath swallowing waiting for his next move. A cruel slow-burning anticipation he puts me through.
I lick my lower lip whilst his face leans to the side he peers into me, he is going to kiss me. I should kill him now before his lips touch mine, be done with it. But I cannot move, my body betrays me. Months of yearning and wet dreams have pushed me off the edge, I can fight only so much. Fingertips sink into my sweater for support. He sees my inner fight and he chuckles.
Lips swiftly turn direction to move towards my left ear. "You can keep running, my female. Run from our bond, run from our future, run from us. I shall hunt you down and bring you back to me. I shall tie you to my flesh. I shall make sure to earn you, to be worthy of you." He whispers whilst the heat of his breath brushed against the shell of my ear and I shiver uncontrollably snapping my eyes shut clutching onto my sweater for dear life.
His warmth is stripped away from me quickly whilst he moves backwards rising putting space between us. The remains of his scent I pull into my lungs so it can stay and make its place inside.
"This war, must you go? Must you fight?" I question peeking up at him from beneath my lashes. The scar of the silver knife remains on his flesh, a reminder of the harsh journey we went through. Of the eerie silent and cold darkness, he was drowning in with no way out. Death called to him and he was on standing on the edge, and the moon chose whether to push him or let him stay.
"Of course. What kind of an Alpha does not fight for his pack?" He asks pacing around the room comforting the little one in his arms who seeks his attention.
"What kind of a pack does not fight for their Alpha and bounds him to disgusting traditions?" I am quick to counter his reply. An attack that flew past my lips without neither hesitation nor though. An attack thrown at him by me that was unnecessary. His steps halt, back turned to me. I see a slight bend of his spine shoulders drawn in head low.
"That was uncalled for. I apologize."
"Your words hold your truth, mate. And my pack holds theirs. But my truth, I do not hold it. It is not in my hands. My father did not hold his either. I want Kal to wake up in a world that he sees as his canvas. He can paint it as he pleases and the colours shall follow his paintbrush." Deimos says. I do not understand the meaning that lies beneath his words but I do not question it.
"When will you leave?" I ask swiftly changing the topic not wishing to have this conversation.
"As soon as the warriors are ready." He replies turning back to face me not asking further about my attack.
"Are you ready? Are you frightened?" I ask whilst standing up taking a slow short step towards him.
He looks a bit taken back to my question for I have caught him off guard. But then he chuckles a loud one peeking out from his throat. "This is the first time I am going to utter these words in my life. Yes. Yes, I am frightened. No, I am not ready, my female."
"Why so? Is it the pack? Are they fearful? Then why go to war, Deimos? Let us discuss it, find a doable solution." I take another step closer to his heat. How can he go to war when he is with fear?
"It is because I have much to lose now, mate. I possess a family who shines brighter to me than any star in the night sky. A family I must protect with my life and help keep warm in the coldest of winters. A family who possess the entirety of me." His truth slides into my soul, the words capture it tying me down.
I look away from him to the window that lies behind him. A family. Something I yearned for and something he was afraid to possess. Now the roles have reversed, I am afraid and he...he is yearning. How much longer shall he pull and I push until I lose balance and fall into him?
"I-I need to go." I whisper quickly for the heat of his gaze is pushing me into a haze. Deimos looks disappointed but offers me a soft nod handing me my male slowly. As I gather Kal into my arms I peek back at Deimos. "I shall go and comfort the females, and mourn with them. And I...I shall see you tonight."
His eyes widen a little to my last words as his surprise manifests into a soft smile eyes gentle as he peers down at me. A smile with all his teeth on display. "I shall see you tonight, my female." I give him a nod and walk out of his office giving him one final glance before shutting the door softly behind me.
Leaning against the closed door placing my palm over my beating heart patting it slowly I whisper, "Calm down now." It feels as though it would burst at any moment. His smile was so bright and so very...beautiful. I am swimming in his warmth but I do not wish to dive deeper. I am too fearful of it.
Taking a deep breath preparing myself mentally for what is to come I head towards the open pack lands. I need to meet with the females who have lost their sons, their fathers, brothers and mates. I need to sacrifice myself to them so that they can seek comfort with me.
In a small house, the females who have lost their males have gathered together seated on the floor many more standing outside for there is no place left to accommodate them within. Their combined cries boom through the open door for every female to hear, feel and part take in. There is no males present, it is a place of mourning only for the females. Their scorching-hot cries burn through the flesh of one's soul.
My body trembles with their combined auras of misery and gut-wrenching pain that looms over them caging them. Elriam stands by the side her eyes showing me her surprise at the matter. She was unaware of the death of our scouts as well. I beckon her and she comes forward briskly to my call.
"Keep Kal with you and take him back to my house. He is too young to absorb the current energy, it shall harm him." I hand him to Elriam who pays heed to my words and quickly walks away.