A Wolf's Yearning
Throughout breakfast, I keep taking glances at Deimos. It possessed a swiftness to it for I removed my eyes from his flesh before he could feel the heat of my gaze upon him.
He remained the same as he was. Cold and detached from the rest. He wasn't this way when I had first arrived here either for his senses were overflowing with the newness of my presence. I have been seeing him in a different light, rather new darkness that haunts him. Perhaps new to me but old and familiar to him.
He seemed to look as though he were a soulless wolf void of a heart or emotions. But I know that is not the case for he proved to me in several ways he possessed a soul brighter than the stars but his faults were not the problem. His every sin towards me had brought our end.
Yes, the pack always came first. I know this. It is essential to live by these words if one was Alpha born. But as a mate, I hoped he would choose me for once in his life. Just that one time when he was tied to the tradition.
This is tearing us apart from the inside is it not, Deimos? He stops munching to swiftly strike his eyes upon my flesh. This. This bond that I truly treasured with every inch of my soul. Every moment, every kiss, every laugh. You shattered it. His hands tremble unable to hold anything within them the fork and knife drops to the table with a loud clang. With your own two hands. You did this. His breath dies in his throat for he is unable to breathe. His fingers claw at his throat whilst he chokes for air. My forgiveness... my forgiveness may never come. You may never be set free. His soul bleeds.
"Elriam, take Kal to Deimos. I do not wish to see him today or I might sink my claws into the flesh of his throat. I do not want this pack to loose their beloved Alpha." I spit my words of controlled fury to her.
"Yes, Alpha." She bows acknowledging my command to her.
"Very well, I shall go visit Cronus. That male hasn't come to breakfast today." I whisper wiping my mouth with the napkin.
Whilst the room begins to clear and wolves leave I slip out along with them for my scent shall mingle with theirs and Deimos will not know that I have left.
Finding Cronus is quite easy for he is always with the pups. If one hears the unstoppable screeches and shrieks of the young ones, one will know he is present.
Following the path that leads to the clearing, I find him by the lake. His arms hold two pups one seated on each hip. The third pup sits upon his shoulder tiny hands thrust into Cronus's locks for support.
Several others are screaming and running around him playing catch as if he were a tree.
"Carry me! Carry me, Alpha Cronus. It is my turn." A young male pleads looking up trying to meet with Cronus's eyes.
Another male pushes the young one to the ground who in turn begins to bawl and wail. "No, it is not! It is my turn, Alpha Cronus promised."
The two young pups begin to strike at each other doing their best to throw a proper punch to get first in line.
"Now now. Every wolf shall get their turn. As you can see I possess merely two hands and one shoulder. So the pup who waits patiently shall be next." Cronus utters.
I watch whilst leaning upon a nearby tree hands folded across my chest. A smirk on my face whilst I regard him. Should I help him? Or should I leave him to fend for himself?
"Lumina! I know you are here, I can smell you! Wait, little one don't pull so hard. I do not wish to be bald before I meet my mate." Cronus shrieks with pain to the little pup seated on his shoulder whilst he tries to swirl around with the weight he carries so he can find me.
"What are you doing, Cronus?" I chuckle.
"Their mothers wished to have a peaceful breakfast so I made their wish come true." He grunts as a young female begins to climb up his leg. Charmer of females indeed, they must be swooning over him in the dining room right now.
"I see. It looks like you are having fun, I shall be on my way then. Farewell." I utter teasingly, turning around acting as though I am truly leaving him.
"Wait!" He shrieks as a wicked smile paints my face.
"Yes?" I question innocently.
"Help me." He whispers his eyes tearing up. A loud laugh booms from my chest, the pups have clearly traumatized him.
Striding towards them with a low chuckle I begin to remove the pups from him who stick to him as glue screaming when I try to extract them.
"Come, I shall carry you too." I bend down picking up two pups from the ground holding them on each hip.
A female begins to sniff me, my neck, hair and cheeks taking in my scent. Many know my scent and show respect when they are in contact with me but some are still young to recognize it and rather remain careless and playful until their mothers come and apologize to me on their behalf.
Whilst she sniffs she presses her cold tiny nose into my flesh, its coldness erupting goosebumps upon my skin. "Why is your nose so cold, little one?" I question with a laugh.
The male on the other side of my hip begins to fret not liking that I am standing still so I rock them both swaying my body to the music of the wind. They calm placing their heads into my neck whilst sucking on their thumbs.
"You are quite good with pups, Lumina." Cronus whispers at my side eyeing up my position.
"I love them. I think they bring joy, laughter and light to a pack. Without these little monsters running around it would be awfully quiet and boring." I reply with a smile to meet his eyes.
"Is this what you envisioned with Deimos? To have a big family." He asks.
"Yes. With every breath I took, as soon as my eyes laid upon his flesh from the very first time."
"It can still come true, Lumina. I do not know why but I believe." He says.
"Because we love each other, Cronus. As true friends, we will always support the other. But when you meet your mate and go through every trial and tribulation perhaps than you shall see this situation in a different light." I mutter.
Yes, this was a situation I dreamt of for a long time. To bear him many pups so his pain of losing a family and my pain of not having one may be healed. And that we would always be surrounded by light and warmth. To hold each other in cold winters and to travel in warm summers. But that was all they were. Dreams.
"Yes, I understand your words. But somehow Lumina, knowing both you and Deimos. The moon shall bless your path with light again. I see your bond's rebirth."
I look away my eyes sweeping past the lake. Rebirth he says as if it were truly easy. The moon has counted her every blessing to us and we have used up all of them. I know she has none to gift anymore. She has given up on us and so have I.
"Your eyes, they sadden me. I wish to see them smile again. Truly." Cronus comes to my right his hand placed upon my head as he pats gently.
"Me too, Cronus. Me too." I whisper meeting his eyes to gift him with a soft smile.
The rustle of leaves from behind us has the entirety of our attention, whilst we turn swiftly to peek at the intruder. A wolf emerges from the shadows of the dense trees. Head low red eyes blazing peering up at us, his ears are erect and his sooty fur bristles.
Lips pulled back his incisors on display canines glimmering in the light, with low growls that vibrate through his chest pouring out his mouth with displeasure. Eyes looking back and forth from Cronus to me he delivers his warning with another booming snarl.
He stands stiff-legged and tall. His tail held vertical and curled towards the back. A display of an Alpha male to the other showing his dominance. The rank he possesses in this pack grounds we stand upon. He stares penetratingly at Cronus who takes a slow step away from me understanding the situation.
Saliva leaks down his chin showing he is ready to sink his teeth into the flesh of the male that stands at my side. Deimos's wolf is defensive not liking the proximity between Cronus and me, rather he detests it. He questions it.
Another roar leaves his mouth, his second warning delivered to us. The pups begin to scurry towards us hiding behind our backs many whimpering and crying calling for their mothers.
"Luna. Put the pups you hold, down. Give them to me." Cronus says at my side not taking his eyes off Deimos's wolf for if he did for even a second he will pounce and draw blood. I stand astonished staring at this beast whom Deimos kept on a tight leash whilst my wolf whines behind barriers to set her free. She calls to him from within wailing and complaining of how I have kept her bound.
Deimos's wolf takes a slow step towards Cronus eyes scanning his every moment, a predatory gaze he possesses. He waits patiently for Cronus to make a move, a move that would allow him to go for the kill.
"Listen to me. Deimos and I are brothers but his wolf is ruthless he will make me bleed despite our bond. All he is sees is you and I am a threat in his eyes at this moment. I need to get the pups back safely. So give them to me!" Cronus raises his voice at me a little for I paid no heed to his words whilst he slowly kneels to the ground trying to make his body look small, he arches his back and allows low barks of fake fear to leave his lips. Anything to calm the raging best for there are pups involved.
Deimos has unleashed his wolf after so many months, any and every male he sees near me is a threat. I place the little pups down as they run into Cronus's open arms that call to them to him. He carries some pups and holds the hands of some. The others quickly make a line behind him as he orders.
"Sit down, Luna. Let him smell you. He must have missed you terribly." Cronus says his last words to me. He gives a low bow to Deimos's wolf in respect showing he means no harm. His wolf follows Cronus's every moment and he does not take his eyes off him until he disappears into the trees the pups hot on his heels.