A Table
The scorching sun burns my flesh sweat dripping down my neck to my chest. My arms a blazing red, I am being kissed by its rays.
Wiping my forehead with the back of my palm removing my sun hat fanning myself with it. I allow a small grumble of annoyance to surge past my lips. It isn't summer for the monsoon has merely ended yet why is the sun shining so bright as though spitting on my gloomy heart.
A low whistle leaves my lips. A known command to my wolves. "Here Alpha." One of my females immediately passes the hammer into my open palm whilst I inspect my work.
I am building a house. A house meant only for Kal and me. The castle suffocated me, every room every wall was imprinted in memories that can neither be forgotten nor torn apart. I decided I shall not remain within its bounds anymore and made my wolves help me with what they are exceptional at. Building.
Fisting my palm I bang it upon the roof of the house I am kneeled over. I don't want it to fall over us, it needs to be sturdy and strong so it withholds any type of weather thrown at it.
For this very purpose, I had requested Australian Buloke to be imported into our pack. A type of wood known for its strength yet it is also known to be the hardest to work with.
My wolves and I have been building this house for over a month now. Weeks seem to fly past me as if they hold no meaning to me. But they do for every new week I see the growth of my male. Kal does not fail to surprise me with every sunrise.
"Is it sturdy, Elriam? Must I tighten the corners more?" I question frowning, swinging the hammer in my hand. A habit of mine. My eyes plunge into hers waiting for her to give me the thumbs up.
She kneels at my side inspecting the corners my fingertips touch. In the past, I built several homes for my wolves and Elriam had the last word in account of its quality and durability. One could say if she weren't my Beta she could lead the group of builders of the pack.
"The screw is loose on this side. Drill into it further, Alpha." Her eyes serious she gives me her instruction.
"Yes, my beta." I reply with a playful curt bow towards her.
Her eyes widen her cheeks painted with a hue of bright red. She swiftly looks away whilst I begin to laugh.
"Please do not tease me, Alpha." She murmurs under her breath. A small huff from her as if she were both embarrassed and angered. My head thrown back, more laughter booms out my chest.
This makes her blush deeper. "Let me see your cheeks, Elriam." I utter curious to see how she looks with her warrior cold facade broken down. I get to see this sight once in a blue moon. She makes no move to face me. "It is a command." I lower my voice acting as though I were serious.
She immediately snaps her face towards me her eyes downcast with respect baring her cheeks to my curious eyes. I chuckle. "Your mate won't be able to take his hands off you." I whisper gazing down at her cute antics. She does not know she is cute but her mate will show her the truth.
She bites her lower lip her cheeks burning and gives me a nod of acknowledgement to my words. I cannot wait for day her mate comes for her as I will gladly give her away though it will be quite lonely without her presence. She is the one thing that has stood strong by my side despite many trials and tribulations.
My smile disappears instantly replaced by an emotionless glare as soon as it meets with emeralds. He stands at a distance his arms around my male. Kal sleeps soundly whilst Deimos rocks him, his feet moving side to side.
Kal seems to sleep better when he is cuddled within the arms of his father. He prefers his scent and heat. There was no surprise from me for Kal is a copy of his father. Every morning as soon as Kal and I are awake he is welcomed by the open arms of Deimos who waits patiently outside my door.
His scent. His eyes. His soul. They beckon me. They pull me to him like a red rope bound to our wrists. I tried cutting it, I tried burning it. Nothing worked. Nothing works. So he pulls and I push. With every ounce of my strength, I possess within me.
A newfound fear has rooted deep within the barriers of my mind. How long shall he pull and I push until I lose balance and fall into him? This fear haunts my dreams at night pushing me to awaken in cold sweat.
Deimos merely regards me with his gentle gaze. The hot wind brushes past us my hair pushed back away baring my face whilst his hair is pushed forward to cover his eyes for a second. And I am thankful for that second for the heat of his gaze is stripped from my flesh.
He comes here every morning without fail just to see the growth of the house. His saddened eyes scan the house I built. One fit to hold two not three. One not meant for him. There are two emotions at war within him.
His chest puffs up with pride for the house I have built. Pride directed at me. Yet drowning sadness breaks through it like wildfire. He did not protest against my plans for this home. He merely didn't speak about it nor confront me about it.
Rather he made sure everything went smoothly without disturbance and if my wolves needed any materials he would get the best of best without fail.
His first step towards me has my heart pounding beneath my rib cage. My mouth open with a low whispered gasp I look away confining my emotions continuing my work. Yet it is all merely an act for I cannot concentrate when he is near me.
Please don't come near. Please don't come near. I repeat the words as if I were in silent prayer. Yet my prayers go unanswered.
"My female." His soft whisper strikes through the chatter and the wolves quieten.
Clenching my jaw I gaze down at my watch. Scanning the time I continue drilling down the screws at the corners. The sound of it blocking his voice.
"It isn't time to feed him yet, Deimos." I mutter hiding my face beneath the sun hat as if I were a tortoise hiding from a predator. My tone is flat as talking to a stranger.
"Yes. I know that. I just came to see your progress. It looks beautiful." He speaks his truth. With Deimos, there is no beating around the bush. He is straightforward and will take you off guard.
I glance at Kal from beneath the shadow of my hat. His tiny hand clutching the tight shirt of Deimos as he rests soundly despite the loud booming sounds at the background. This is what his father's scent does to him. A secret drug he possesses one that I do not have.
A reply to Deimos is uncared for and he is only met with my empty silence. Yet he feels no shame. He merely sprints forward with his words. This male possesses so much determination that it annoys me to the bottom of my core.
"Do you need more materials? Or perhaps new instruments?" He questions eyeing the main door of the house. He strides forward holding onto Kal tightly with his left hand his right reaches towards the door frame. Pushing onto it, banging it making sure it is strong. He is checking if it meets his satisfaction of strength. He is checking if it can protect Kal and me.
He gives a curt nod of approval and takes a step back. His eyes move back up to meet mine and I quickly look away again. Clearing my throat I reply, "No. I require nothing."
He takes a shaky breath in as he peers down at the sleeping Kal. As soon as his eyes meet that of my male the sadness of his soul disappears and is met by an immense joy. One that cannot be put into words. I am his light and Kal is his sun.
Turning around with one last longing glance at me he walks away. His shoulders have sunk and head downcast. He does not walk the way an Alpha does but an ordinary male. One bare of his titles. One with nothing but a mate and a son.
The wolves bow to him on the way and he replies with a kind smile. I watch his retreating hunched back and take a deep breath. Finally, I can breathe.
I glance at my Beta and am surprised to know she has been watching me. Her eyes, they regard me with an emotion I am unaware of. Why? Why is she looking at me this way? It is a mixture of sadness with a hint of disappointment.
She turns back around and continues hammering and smoothening the buloke. Clenching my jaw not wishing for an uneasy conversation to take place I head down the ladder wiping my dirty hands on a cotton cloth.
"It is almost done, Alpha." A male comes to stand at my side as his eyes sweep through the house.
"How does it look? Does it look warm and cosy? One where Kal would feel loved? Speak your truth."
The male quietens the wheels turning within his mind. "Would he not love the castle grounds? It is bigger and free. Kal can be one with his wolf on those grounds compared to here I suppose." He says.
It feels as though I am struck with lightening. Yes. I know with the blood that runs through his veins he would prefer the castle grounds compared to this house. But I can see it. Kal being happy here. With me by his side.
I will make sure to bring him up in a way that he will grow to become without a guarded heart but with an open soul so he can rule with both his heart and mind. Not only with one of those.
"I suppose so." Is all I say not wishing to dwell more into this with my wolves for I know they have been aching to ask me. Why I have left the castle? Why there is tension between Deimos and me?
"Alpha are we done for the day?" Elriam peeks down from above whilst she questions.
"Yes, we are." I reply tying my hair up over my head allowing the wind to glide past my bare neck soothing my burning flesh.
I need to go take a shower and fetch my male. It is almost time to feed him. Jogging the way back to the castle I sigh in defeat. Even being near to this place makes me anxious. Anxious that I will come face to face with Deimos and he might start a conversation I don't wish to be a part of.
My route to my room is halted when my ears perk up to loud laughter from the kitchen. A soft smile on my face to see what the females are laughing about I peek inside. My eyes scanning through the crowded room I find the female of sin with a cup of wine in her hand surrounded by others. She sits on the kitchen counter swinging her bare legs holding all the attention sitting there as if she owns this place.
My wolf for the first time in weeks wakes up from her slumber. Her cage rattles with the fury that grows from within her core. She is awake now. Wide awake.
I stand straighter and watch this scene unfold before me. There are some young present that surround her looking up to her as if she were a role model. It disgusts me, I gag visibly trying to control what wishes to be barfed out.
My eyes blazing my chest tightening. My armour is on. I walk to her. My steps are heavy and they pound upon the marble tiles. The wreck, the havoc that has happened in my mates bond caused by her. And yet she stands there with pride her head held high.
As I near them the chatter stops and the females crowd around his chosen. No, they are not my females they are of Deimos's pack. They are all mostly old. Old enough to be elders of the pack. Their white hair visible with wrinkles and sagged skin that paint their flesh.
"Luna." They bow in unison with respect. Respect? Your respect is fake to me. This is not how you respect the Luna, this is how you put her to shame with this tradition of yours.
"Move." I utter. They look back up confused glancing at each other in confusion. "I said to move! Remove his chosen from your protection at once." My voice booms across the walls the windows rattle with the wrath that I hold deep inside me.
I had kept my feelings at bay. Allowed this female to stay here despite having no role to play anymore for no matter what she was a member of this pack.
That was the biggest sacrifice as a Luna I could make yet here she is drinking wine sitting on the counter where I had once been kissed by Deimos upon. She dirties every memory imprinting her filthy scent upon it.
The females tremble yet they do not move to allow me to get to his chosen.
My body trembles claws emerge from flesh. Fangs elongating I heave trying to control my fury. This disobedience. This blatant show of disrespect of rebelliousness that they have never once done. All this to protect her? To protect this tradition?
"Who wishes to die first?" I am barely controlling my wolf. Her pent up energy she shielded wishes to emerge and burst. She wishes to paint the walls red.
The females' quiver some already taking a few steps away clearing my path but some stand still their heads bowed.
"P-Please move." A small whisper is let out from the back. The females' eyes widen and they snap their heads back at her. "It is okay." She eases their worries with a gentle smile. They immediately respond to her words and move away.
This female. Who do they regard her as that they follow her blindly yet with the true Luna they protest?
She strides forward. My fingers itches. It itches to cut her throat and watch her bleed to death. The moon will not take her for this tradition they follow blindly is a sin. Against mates. Against the moon herself.
"Where did Deimos hide you?" I question.
She stands straighter her eyes plunging through me. She thinks I am a pup. That I am immature. That I taunt her for I am nothing but jealous. Her fear of me, her innocence is quickly gone as it came. She shows me her true self.
"He did not hide me. He merely protected me. There is a difference...Luna." She says the word Luna as though it possesses no true meaning to her.
Taking a deep breath I ask her again. "Where did he hide you?" Gritting my teeth hoping that once she tells me I can send her straight back to that place and make sure she never returns.
"In a pack far from here. You are afraid." She says.
"What did you say?" I growl capturing the air in my lungs.
"Your eyes. They show me the truth. You are in fear that I will take your place." She utters.
"Shut your mouth." A warning I give her. My very first warning.
"I was born for this very purpose. I was moulded into perfection to be Deimos's chosen. It pleased me when he quickly arranged for me to be driven away to another pack. It pleases me that he thought I would be of use to him in the future."
"And what of your mate?" I spit. The male who might be dreaming of her. Waiting for her.
"The selected chosen must forfeit her mate. Just like Deimos did when he first met you." She whispers.
This female. She played me with her innocent acts and fearful eyes. She called Deimos by his name which is the right given to only me yet she is not of fear to hold his name.
"I am warning you." I mutter beneath my breath. The second warning I give her.
"Well you have bore a male now and you might think I have no role here but I do. I may be of use...several ways. One that will be hidden to you just like the meaning I held was. You stomp on our tradition, you have no right to be called Luna. You have no right to be at his right for you are nothing but.... unworthy." My eyes widen to her words. She is shameless. Honestly I...I didn't expect this in any way or form. She caught me off guard.
I smile. A smile showing all my teeth. The females' eyes widen. I cackle holding my stomach. Their bodies tremble.
"Thank you for your kind words. I will make sure to forget them as soon as you die." I mutter.
She frowns. "What?" She asks but before another distasteful word could leave his ugly mouth my wolf surges forth plucking the reigns of control from my hands.
My claws strike her throat with no hesitation plunging into her flesh. Her eyes widen and she screams her pain. Her hands clutching my wrist nails digging into my flesh. She struggles to speak another word. The females behind her shriek at the sight of blood oozing down making a small puddle at her feet.
Many try to pry my hand away from her throat yet their attempts are futile. My fingers reach into her throat and tug her oesophagus out in one harsh pull. She has no time to protest for her life is taken from her by me.
Her corpse falls to its rightful place. At my feet. Such a weak female yet prides herself as his chosen. The females fall to the ground mourning her. What kind of sickness is this for me to take in? I cannot even digest it. Some peer up at me with hateful eyes.
Deimos rushes in. "Can someone tell me what the hell is going on here?" He screams and the females' whimper.
As I turn around his eyes widen. He looks at me frowning not understanding what is happening as if asking me to explain. But when his eyes peer to the bloody corpse of his chosen understanding pulls him in. He looks back at me.
I wait. For his wrath. For his blame. For his anger. I wait and wait but nothing comes. I am merely met with cold silence. I have killed a pack member today, this shall haunt me till the day I die. Kal is awake in his arms his eyes focused on his father.
I need to feed him. I look back at the dead chosen and all the females morning her. My lips wobble in frustration I feel as though I were betrayed. By my pack.
My fiery eyes meet that of Deimos. He shuts his eyes close unable to see my inner destruction. Striding to him picking up Kal from his arms I prepare to leave. Let him take care of this mess.
"Go. Make sure your chosen is taken care of." I whisper. Gathering my saliva in my mouth I spit it at this foot of my disapproval of him. Of his choices and this tradition.
He raises his lips a hint of fang at my fury filled disrespect. No matter what he is an Alpha. An Alpha of this pack and he must be respected as such.
I walk out that kitchen door with one lingering glance at the counter. She has filthied it with her presence and it shall never be the same.
The sun sets bringing forth darkness but it seems nothing compared to the one I hold within my soul. I find there is no light, no good in me. I find that I possess every negative emotion. Anger, betrayal, misery and jealousy.
"I am famished." Elriam grumbles from behind me. Her stomach speaks demanding to be fed.
"Your stomach sounds like my Kal, Elriam." I chuckle heading into the dining room. I am protected within the circle of my females. In case the elders choose to take action on what I did this morning. I do not need protection yet Kal is held in my arms and I need to make sure he is safe.
I am guided into the room to be met with glances of disapproval and a newfound unworthiness towards me from the elders. The tradition they held, the female of sin they protected stripped off them by me.
But among the distasteful looks that spurts out tension within the room one set of eyes cuts through all with its gentle and welcoming gaze. His. Deimos's.
I neither regard him nor reply to his antics. I merely jut my chin up with my spine straight and head to the other side of the room with my females hot on my heels.
Deimos's eyes follow me frowning with confusion as to where I am going for I was not taking my seat at his right.
Striding to the table sitting down at my chair which is placed at the head of the table. My females gather around taking their seats baring their fangs with low threatening growls at the elders whilst scanning the room for threats.
His eyes widen and the entirety of his being trembles. He immediately looks towards his male awake and curled up in my arms and he quivers further. He does not want this. He does not wish for this. I am hurting him every part of his soul.
Understanding of the sudden situation comes to light within him for what he didn't know was that I was not merely building a home but a table as well. His fist clenched placed upon the table it has a tremor he tries to control. His jaw clenched his heart painfully caged he tries his best to swallow the food down his throat. How can he when he cannot breathe?
I sit there on my table. A table I made for myself. A table he has no seat at. The chair to his right is empty.