I Am Happy
I slip from my deep slumber as the sound of birds chirping and leaves dancing to the cold breeze flows through the open balcony. My eyes flutter open and I gaze around the blurry room. Confusion startles me as my mind begins to work.
This is not Gianna's room, this is Deimos's and mine. How am I here? I frown closing my eyes shut trying to remember what happened last night. Biting my lower lip I remember vaguely, him carrying me through the chilly path, his last words whispered to me.
I flinch as a warm body shifts closer behind me showing his existence for me to acknowledge. I prepare myself to turn but stop as the words he spewed in anger yesterday makes its self known in the depths of my mind.
My heart is struck with those words as they come into the light once again. I need to apologize as well but my pride stands higher than ever.
"Will, you not look at me Lumina?" His hoarse voice questions. I do not wish to answer him so I keep quiet listening to the sounds peering through from outside. He shifts closer leaving an inch of space so our flesh does not touch. But I feel the heat of his being saturating my skin.
"You do not wish to speak to me as well?" He questions again silently urging me to speak. I shift farther away to the edge of the bed trying to run from the heat. A soft sigh leaves his lips and there is a movement towards me.
His palm lifts my shirt upward plunging inside as he places it on the flesh of my stomach. "My female." He whispers his words drowning with possessiveness into my ear. Grasping his wrist digging my nails into his flesh I fight him.
Legs kick his waist, hands push his chest away from my space, teeth nip into flesh. A wolf's aggression filled with anger and hurt. He follows my fight and drags me to his chest hands wrapped around my waist and encages me below him.
My fangs out, I snarl my anger to him showing my dislike of the situation. Growls boom from within my chest. Claws try to get a strike at him to bring blood and he dodges easily. Grabbing my wrists holding them above my head he merely peers down at me.
He is not filled with fury but happiness for his eyes are smiling at me. I struggle to remove myself from his hold but he tightens it keeping me in place. "Have I made you this upset? Have my words made you feel so?" Another question blooms from his lips.
My chest heaving I look away from him gritting my teeth. A soft chuckle from him has me looking at him with a wave of newfound anger. Does he find this funny? "My female is quite cute." He says with a soft smile playing upon his lips.
My eyes widen and I snarl my frustration to him. His smiling eyes turn serious as his calm eyes regard me. The play is dead as he makes me look at him. "Why did you sleep alone yesterday, Lumina?" He asks.
I debate whether to answer him but do so to provoke him. "To stay away from you." I reply. His nods in understanding. "But you still had the audacity to bring me here." I continue.
"That's because I can not do it. Perhaps you can, but I am unable to." He says.
"Do what?" I demand.
"To sleep without you. I need you by my side at all times." He speaks his truth.
Silence consumes us and I stare at him as he gazes down at me. The only difference is my eyes are filled with anger and his are with gentleness.
"Let me go." I spit the words clenching my jaw.
"I will after you listen to me." He replies to my order.
"Deimos let me go now or I-" I begin struggling again within his hold as his words cut me through.
"I am sorry." He whispers. I look up finally meeting his eyes. "My fury consumed me and I couldn't see clearly. You did something unnecessary against the moon's wishes pushing my entire existence and everything I have built into a pit of shame."
"I told you why I-" I start trying to pour water upon the fire.
"However! However, I understand. I thought about it the time I spent away from you as well as last night and I understand you, Lumina." He whispers the words I wished to hear from his mouth. The words that could wipe away the boiling guilt within me.
Tears drop down my cheeks as soft whines leave my lips. He lets go of his hold and wipes them away gently. "I shall take the blame for this. I will carry the weight." He continues and I cry softly.
"I guess in many ways, I fail you as a male." He says and I shake my head unaccepting of his words.
"B-But you said that you don't want a mate who lies." I whisper the exact words he said to me.
"And you said you don't want a mate who does not understand you." He replies with what I spewed to him in anger. "Forgive the words I uttered to you for they hold neither truth nor meaning."
"I...I am s-" An apology sparks into my lips. Both for my actions that hurt him and my words yesterday.
"I know. You don't have to tell me. I can see it in your eyes and I can feel it in your heart." He stops me with a soft smile playing upon his lips.
Grabbing a tissue he wipes my cheeks gently simply a male caring for his female. "I do not like it." He utters.
"Like what?" I question sniffing as he wipes my nose.
"When you cry. But it seems I am the best at making you do so." He whispers clenching his jaw throwing the tissue in the bin.
"That is because only you make me feel from within. Only you have the power." I state the truth kneeling upon the mattress. Nobody has the power to make me sob but him. Only him.
"And so do you. But promise me Lumina that you would speak your thoughts to me for I will stand by you." He voices his wish as I nod quickly promising I would never do things behind his back.
Opening his arms wide he waits and I pounce into his warmth as he catches me quickly wrapping his arms around, face nudged into my neck, he inhales my scent. We don't prolong our fights, maturity has dug deep within us. A few words of truth is all that needs to be exchanged for us to become one again.
Teeth nip at my mark, "Cute." He whispers, his chuckle vibrating through his chest.
I lean backward making sure he meets my eyes to see how serious I am. "I am not cute. I am an Alpha." I say head held high my wolf standing tall, prideful showing off for her male.
"Oh, are you now?" He teases his lips peeled up into a smile showing teeth as he crawls slowly towards me like a predator. Palms flat upon the bed, shoulders up head dipped low eyes encaging his prey.
I nod heavily trying to prove my point, "Yes I am." I state my truth.
"Of course you are. My Alpha." He whispers pouncing upon me giving me soft pecks all over my face and neck. I scream as loud laughs erupt from my belly.
"Stop!" I screech trying to run from my male's lips. He laughs with me, our sounds mix becoming one creating a beautiful melody that imprints itself within these four walls.
Deimos and I head down the stairs for breakfast discussing certain matters in which he wishes to acquire my opinions. He strides below me and I follow behind, my eyes glued to his back scanning him from his neck to shoulders.
I do not wish to say it but I seem to be obsessed with his back. Sometimes when we sleep at night I stare at his back longingly wishing to lay upon it. I will never tell him this, a secret I must take to my grave.
"I think you shouldn't meddle into that, Deimos. You already have enough on your plate training Gio." I reply to his problem whilst drooling over his upper torso. If he wishes to seduce me all he needs to do is turn around giving me a perfect view of his back.
"It is my duty, Lumina. How must I tell them I cannot help them with that?" He replies as I trip on one of the steps stumbling. Trying to regain balance I fail, falling right into the huge male in front of me. He immediately senses it turning swiftly to catch my body.
Grabbing me by my waist he steadies me upon a step above him. Eyes wide he scans me head to toe inspecting. "Who is the Alpha now, Lumina?" He questions. My eyes spark and I growl at his face fangs out disapproving his words.
He growls back as a warning to pay attention to myself. He puts his hand out palm faced at me to grasp onto. Quite unnecessary in my case but I understand. His beast must have surged above the surface after the fright I just gave them.
With a soft sigh, I place my palm into his and he gently guides me down the stairs. This isn't embarrassing in any way, it is an open way of a male protecting what is his. Wolves greet us with a smile along the way and we return it with friendly eyes.
"I miss my females." I whisper as I look towards a group seated on the grass floor under the shade of the tree chattering and chuckling among themselves.
"I know you do. I promise you, I will do everything in my power to take you back home by eight months Lumina." He replies giving my hand a light squeeze of comfort.
Entering into the bustling dining room has the present wolves stare at our hands and some females smile in understanding. Wolves can feel the tension in the air especially those brought forth from an Alpha. They must have felt it yesterday.
"Oh, you are not hiding today Luna Lumina?" The older female who I met last night at the kitchen teases me with her question.
A soft chuckle leaves my lips and I shake my head playfully. "Hiding? Where?" The sudden questions from my male's mouth startle both of us.
"W-Well I-I...." The female stumbles in her words facing indecision whether to lie or tell the truth. Her scared eyes look back and forth from me to him.
"You will answer me properly and I want the truth." The Alpha within him demands her to spill.
Trembling she loses her fight for a wolf cannot go against the wishes of an Alpha. "Luna Lumina was hiding beneath the counter whilst you arrived last night." She whispers. I immediately shut my eyes close my cheeks burning in embarrassment.
Silence follows along with a soft chuckle from his throat. "Well, what can I say, my female, is quite naughty." He whispers grabbing my head placing a soft kiss. I hear the juvenile males call him and a sigh of relief passes my lips.
"Is he gone? Can I open my eyes now?" I ask the female.
"Yes, Luna." She replies and I open my eyes turning around to see where he went.
"Good morning, Alpha." Elriam greets me with a smile earning a curt nod from me. "You seem to feel better today." She continues.
"Yes, we fought yesterday." I utter almost gagging at the thought of it, the feeling of hurt has its essence that leaves a sour aftertaste in your mouth.
My eyes find Deimos as he laughs at one of the jokes said by a young male. Now that is a sight I thought I would never see when we first met. Him laughing. Him mingling among wolves. The fact that many wolves even have the guts to beckon him is a big deal.
"Yes, we all noticed. It is common you know. You will become closer this way." She states. Deimos ruffles the male's hair who told the joke. Another male with hair of the night sky pushes the wolves around demanding attention from my male. Deimos notices his aggression and swats the back of his head reprimanding him. The juveniles laugh as the young male's cheeks turn to a hue of red.
"By hurting each other?" I question frowning.
"No, by confronting the truth head-on and by understanding each other." She replies and I meet her eyes. Sometimes the words she speaks comfort me but also surprises me.
"It is quite funny." I say with a soft chuckle folding my hands over my chest leaning upon the counter.
"Find what funny, Alpha?" She asks confused.
"That you speak all this when you have no experience." I tease her wiggling my eyebrows.
"They say those who have the least experience are the ones who are most knowledgable." She replies.
Her knowledge sometimes intrigues me, how does she know so much despite not having a mate. "Lumina, come." Deimos calls to me and I look up meeting his eyes.
"Your male is calling you, Alpha." Elriam utters and I nod shifting putting weight upon my legs and walking to his outstretched arm.
As soon as I am within his radius he pulls me into his side his hand around my shoulder. "Go ahead, ask her." He says to one of the juvenile males'.
"Luna I wish to know if-" He begins and I stare him down.
"First, your name." I reprimand him. Juveniles tend to not pay heed to pack manners and rules so it is often up to the older ones to teach them.
"I apologize, my name is Piero." His eyes widen to my stern command and he immediately apologizes telling me his name.
"Hello, Piero. What is your question?" I ask my eyes calm but focused.
"I-I learned today that one must wait for your mate and remain pure physically and mentally. Is it true or just for-" The young male almost finishes his question as Deimos blocks him before.
"That is not the question you told me you wished to ask her, Piero. You-" Deimos speaks fast flustered by the sudden rock this juvenile throws at us. The other males laugh and woo at him for asking this question to a Luna but I am not fazed at all, he wishes to know I will tell him. It is merely a simple question.
"Of course it is true." I reply and there is a pin drop silence the covers us. "I waited. Day and night, never let another male enter the depths of my mind nor touch my flesh. I was never confused nor swayed by another. I knew my entire being was meant for my mate and I abided by it."
The males listen quietly imprinting my words into their minds. Piero nods in understanding and whispers begin to form in the small group. There isn't a word from Deimos but I feel the heat of his gaze upon me, his female seems brighter to him. More worthy than any other. I never told him this so it has struck him as a surprise. Perhaps he thought I at least liked another male.
"But. There are other cases." I continue gaining their attention again. "For example, this Alpha male standing next to me. He didn't wait, he took female after female. I don't know how many he has had but he tasted many. This is an example of what you shouldn't do." I teach them using Deimos as an example.
They look at him playfully shaking their heads in disapproval. I internally chuckle at the sight. He clears his throat and shifts closer to me in fear I may be upset. He knows what shall happen if I do get upset. I will sleep without him again.
"I have another question! I wish to know if-" Piero the curious juvenile comes with another question.
"That is all for today. Ha ragione. Non fare quello che ho fatto per te ne pentirai." He whispers to them and guides me away from the chatter of the group.
"Wait what did you say? Are you trying to hide something from me?" I ask with squinted eyes, hands on my hips.
He immediately stands straight, hand placed at the back of his neck eyes wide. "Of course not. I would never hide anything from you." He says.
My squint grows deeper and I can almost see him sweat. I often get angry at him and sometimes I agree, for the smallest of things so he is always afraid that he is going to get shouted at for something.
"You better not be Deimos. You hear me?" I playfully threaten him and he quickly nods gulping. I wish to laugh but I won't. Sometimes he behaves like a pup without knowing and I find it extremely cute.
"Is someone in trouble?" Ragon peeps behind Deimos wiggling his eyebrows playfully watching the both of us.
"I hope I am not. Am I?" He asks the last question peeping at me beneath his eyelashes. I am merely teasing him but he is taking it so seriously.
"What did you do this time, Alpha?" Ragon asks Deimos with a gentle smile.
"He isn't in trouble don't worry. I am merely playing with him.' I chuckle and Deimos sighs with relief whilst leaning his head upon my shoulder. Perhaps I scared him too much.
"Females' and their mood swings! Don't you agree Ragon?" Deimos questions.
"Of course I do-" Ragon peers at me and my stern eyes and immediately changes his answer. "Do not. I-I think that females' balance the emotional values we as males' do not possess. Goodbye." He finishes and swiftly runs as fast as his legs take him.
I feel Deimos creep away from me slowly. "And where do you think you are going?" I question as he stops at standstill, mid-step.
"For a walk?" He says unsure if that is where he was headed to.
"What about breakfast, my male?" I ask. That is what we came here for yet we haven't even sat at the table.
"It still hasn't been prepared. They are making a feast for our return, it will take a bit longer. But in the meantime join me, Lumina." He whispers with a soft smile giving his hand for me to take.
I immediately grasp it and head outside with him. On the way out the group of juvenile males remain watching us with curious eyes. Perhaps they wonder how I am still with him despite his faults. I wink to them to show no matter what nothing can break a mate's bond.
The soft breeze flows past us and I close my eyes inhaling the sweet scent it carries with it. Deimos begins to hum a slow melody through his lips.
We stride through pillars and rows of flowers, Giovanni keeps his pack perfect for the eyes to behold. "It has been so long since we went for a walk, hasn't it Deimos?" I question.
"It has. I missed this. Being together with you like this. It is the same for me, Lumina. I cannot wait to return home." He replies.
"I want to buy my females' souvenirs. I think they will like them." I whisper thinking back to the fond memories I possess with my females.
"Whatever you wish, my female." He replies.
We walk in a comfortable silence engulfed by the warmth we each possess just enjoying the hidden tranquility this place holds. This has grown to become our second home, Gia and Gio have given me the feeling of family and so has this pack. They welcomed me as theirs.
"Lumina?" He breaks the silence.
"Hmm?" I hum in reply scanning my surrounding.
"I have lived for many years since birth and never once had this thought recurred within my mind. I earned to feel it but it never came." He speaks making me frown in confusion to his words.
"What thought? What feeling?" I question.
"I am happy, my female. I am so very happy." He whispers smiling giving me the sight of his strong teeth. His eyes sparkle and shine like diamonds as they drown with joy. My mark buzzes to life and I can feel everything he feels.
I smile softly gazing at his features taking a screenshot for me to possess. My heart pounds skipping beats and all I see is him. He peers down at me as if I were fragile with nothing but pure gentleness.
"Say it." He whispers. He urges me from within to say the words that are stuck at the tip of my tongue.
"I...I am happy." I say as his smile grows wider and he closes his eyes as if to protect hidden tears.