It Is Done
"I love this place so much Deimos. Something about it calls out to me. Our pups would enjoy th-" I quickly stop my words' eyes widening of what I was just about to say. Clearing my throat I stride past the bed looking at the maps trying to change the atmosphere.
He grabs my wrist turning me around making me look at him. "Our pups would what, Lumina? You did not finish the sentence. You can tell me your dreams Lumina. Don't fear the uncertain, my female." He says words dripping down his lips like sweet honey.
He urges me with his eyes for me to continue and not hold back. "Our pups...our pups would enjoy this place. T-There is so much area to run and play catch. They could chase birds or even go for a swim. Maybe just dip their toes in-" I ramble on and cease once more as soon as I meet his eyes.
"I think so too, Lumina. The same as you." He whispers with a soft smile playing upon his lips.
His words take me by surprise. It is the first time he has spoken positively about this topic. Is this a sign or am I just overthinking it? Should I ask him or would that ruin the mood? I don't think my heat is the proper time to speak of this. I must not waiver from my plan.
"Have your cramps started? Do you feel hot? I did not close the windows thinking you do feel so." He questions eyes drowning with concern.
"No, I am quite all right the symptoms haven't started yet." I say sighing with relief internally. I know this time it will be very painful but I need not worry for I have my male with me. He can calm the fire.
"Then that is good. Come I must fill your belly before your heat starts." Grabbing my hand he leads me into the kitchen.
"Will you cook?" I ask him preparing myself to help him.
"It is the duty of a male to feed his female during her heat and I shall abide by that." He replies removing the groceries out of the bag and placing it upon the counter.
"I want to help." I say trying to catch his attention.
"Yes, you may do so by waiting patiently." He says whilst removing the thick piece of meat from the package. My stomach lets out a small growl of hunger and I place my palm upon my belly. My mouth salivates watching the raw food he begins to cook.
The heat makes me hungry a lot like a starving rogue. Though I ate just a few hours ago I wish to gobble anything in my sight at this very moment. I sit upon the counter watching my male cook for me. My provider.
As time runs my desire to eat. I begin to yearn for what he is making like a long lost lover. The way he has cooked it is very different urging me to taste. It is a meal of his home spiking my curiosity. He shifts a little to sprinkle some spices and I try to steal a piece of cooked meat.
Deimos immediately swats my wrist as if I were a pup and I bring my aching hand to my chest holding it whilst it throbs. "You will wait, Lumina." He says tone dominant and commanding. The Alpha in him surging forward. I pay heed and wait until he has finished.
"Come." He says carrying the two plates of steaming food placing it upon the glass table. He sits at the head of the table and I sit at his right. Drooling, my stomach demanding food, my patience on a thin thread I wait.
As soon as the plate is in front of me my fingers itch to dig into devourer it in one go. I look at Deimos screaming at him internally to take a bite first so I can start. Taking a spoonful of rice and meat he munches slowly swallowing.
The sound of his gulp reaches my ears and I pounce upon the food and feast on it calming the storm of my hunger. "Eat slowly my female. No wolf shall take your food and there is more that I shall provide. So eat slowly." He says warning me with his eyes.
I begin to munch slower enjoying the taste rather than to just satisfy my craving. The first symptom of my heat has arrived. "This is delicious. Thank you." I whisper as Deimos stands up to bring the rest. He places the bowl in front of me allowing me to serve myself.
"Are you not going to take more?" I ask him eyeing the bowl waiting for me.
"No the rest is for you." He says whilst tearing a piece of thick juicy meat and bringing it to my mouth. His beast demands he feeds his female directly. I open my mouth wide as he places it upon my tongue and I chew indulging in the flavors. The spices are mixed perfectly bending as one.
I do not know how I ate this fast as my eyes land upon all the empty plates and bowls scattered around the table more on my side than his. I bite my lower lip wishing for something sweet to drown the savory taste. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand I finally look at my male.
He sits with elbow placed upon the table, chin on his open palm. A gentle smile on his face he watches me. "I love watching you eat. Even if I am famished I will be satisfied just by watching you eat." He whispers as my cheeks burn not with embarrassment but to his words.
"Dessert?" He questions knowing what I want reading my mind and my actions. He can read me like an open book these days. I don't even have to speak to him of my thoughts, he will know just by gauging my actions and movements.
"Yes please." I reply my wolf bounding and skipping with her tail wagging ready for a treat. She loves sweets more than me to say.
My eyes dart to the windows as rain scatters and streams down the windows. I get up to walk closer for a better view but hunch down as the first cramp takes what is due. My abdomen pulls in as a painful throb pushes out. My body is getting hotter with time.
I sit back upon the chair waiting for it to subside I am still not in the main circle of heat yet. Deimos strides over with a plate and places it before me. I look at the dish and smile. I do like it a lot. "Donuts." I whisper.
"No. Not donuts. It is bomboloni." He says taking the first sweet and gulping the entire bun in one bite. He has a large mouth not that I am complaining. A large mouth comes with a long tongue. It has its benefits.
"Bomboloni?" I ask him frowning.
"Yes, they are Italian donuts. The older females in the pack made it every year for my birthday but stopped as soon as you arrived. Perhaps they wished for you to take over." He says.
"They sure love you. Rather they spoil you a lot I would say." I chuckle grabbing my part of the confection, taking a deep bite but stop munching halfway to ask him a question.
"Lumina you will speak after you have swallowed." My male says reprimanding my table manners. He always teaches me what is right and wrong. I was never exposed to these kinds of things so he always guides me.
Gulping down the remains I ask him, "Your birthday is coming soon is it not?" I ask him looking down at my feet playing with my fingers upon my lap.
There is a deep silence that envelopes us in the room. I feel his gaze on me burning through my flesh. Years. We never celebrated birthdays for the years we have been together. In the past, we chose not to for we had problems being mates and the recent years we have been extremely busy with our hectic roles that the thought never occurred to us.
"It is." Is all he says. Of course, that is all he would say. I look away from him the first sign that I am upset.
"We will be back home by then won't we?" I ask.
"Yes, we will." Short and frank answers. His show of disinterest. I stand up quickly my chair screeching loudly against the floor. Striding to the sofa I sit back watching the rain instead of speaking another word. I feel him watching me. Let him watch. He doesn't understand anything.
With a soft sigh, he walks towards me and sits next to me still keeping his eyes on his female. "You know I do not see the point in celebrating birthdays, Lumina." He speaks, tone soft. I keep my eyes straight not wishing to neither look at nor speak to him.
He raises his hand to touch my flesh but I slap it away before it could do so surprising him. "Lumina." He warns. He doesn't like my attitude. He doesn't like me denying him. The room is getting hotter despite the chilly storm, I have begun to sweat.
"You know why! I do not even know the day I was born, if I did I would make sure to celebrate it every year. You are celebrating life, Deimos! What about our pups? Would you deny them this as well?" I spew my questions in fury out to him. He is very lucky to be able to have a chance of knowing and celebrating the day he was born unlike me.
"I would never deny them that, Lumina. My birthday is not so important." He replies voice calm.
"It is! It is for me! It is my male's birthday." I scream tears welling in my eyes waiting for him to irk me with more words so I can let them free.
Shifting closer he pulls me to his chest, baring his neck to me so I can calm down with the scent of his flesh. "I understand. If this is what you want I shall pay heed to it." He whispers with a soft kiss to my cheek. I snuggle deeper into his warmth clutching onto his shirt trying to cage my emotions.
"Thank you." I whisper with a kiss to his chest. He always agrees to my wishes sometimes he just needs a little nudge from my side.
"From this year onward, we will celebrate your birthday the same day as mine." He whispers as I push away to see his eyes.
"What?" I ask my eyes widening.
"I will announce to our pack, Lumina. The day you were born will be celebrated with mine." He says with a smile as I grab his neck pulling him down to me. He lets out a small laugh surprised.
"I am happy." I say my truth.
"And I will do anything for your happiness to remain, my light." He whispers.
We sit like that for some time until my cramps return. My body begins to heat up like wildfire. Deimos holds me tightly to him and rocks us as small whines and whimpers leave my lips. He must find it very difficult to choose to comfort his female rather than take her like a beast.
"Let us go for a swim, Lumina. The cold water will help subside the discomfort." He tells me whilst carrying me to the bedroom.
Once inside, he makes me sit on the bed softly. Fingers hooking the bottom of his shirt he strips leaving his chest bare. Rain pounds the earth hard and the trees are swung back and forth with the wind's force.
"I-I don't think this is a good idea, Deimos." I say quickly trying to keep my eyes off of him. He doesn't pay heed to my words as he continues stripping until he is bare as a newborn pup. His feet weigh into the wooden floor as he strides towards the edge of the open balcony.
With one last glance at me he jumps, the sound of water splashing rides into my ears. Unable to see him anymore I take small steps towards the edge looking for him. I find the muscles of his back as his arms and legs thrust deep into the waters.
"Don't think too much my female. Jump." He says voice loud and clear enough for me to hear. Contemplating if this is a good idea the need to cool my body empowers my mind. Searching for my bag, I find it on top of the suitcase.
I look at the pill strip clenched tight in my palm. I need to take one now and one after I possess his seed. I need to make a decision. Glancing back at my male who is swimming as if he has no care in the world. He waits for me.
What I have right now, what I have bled to acquire. I don't want to give it away. I don't want to go back to those days where he was cold-hearted and unmerciful with me. I love him with my mind, heart, and soul. I will protect what we have built together until now, my male. Until you are ready.
Taking a pill out of its socket I place it upon my tongue. I could spit it out. Turning around to face him again he waves with a smile calling me to him with his eyes. The fire within my body erupts. I am doing this for us. Perhaps next time will be different and our want for pups will be mutual. I want to cry but I don't. I want to sob in his arms but I won't.
I will be strong. Swallowing the pill, I strip quickly walking to the edge of the balcony. "Jump, my female." He says with a chuckle and I jump with no second thought.
It is done.