Chapter 8: Wishful thinking

Thorne’s POV

“He is still proving stubborn, Alpha Thorne”. Carlos calls behind me, jogging to match my stride with an annoyed edge to his voice. I don’t need to ask to know he is referring to the rogue we brought back from the south as a souvenir. He was meant to be dead by now according to the ruling against rogue wolves who attack Alphas, but we kept him to get more information and we’ve been at it for months.

I tick my jaw, clenching and unclenching my fists. “Maybe I should take it from here”. I tell Carlos who immediately shakes his head.

“I don’t think so, we have it under control we just need a little more time.”

My patience runs thin with every passing day. I am terribly on edge about God knows what and Carlos feels it too. Anything that takes me into the room where the rogue is kept will no longer be an interrogation session, but a means to vent. No way I am walking out of that room with that rogue still breathing.

Not after the scar left on my life by one of them.

As a child, I looked up to my father a lot. The most admirable wolf I had ever known. Fierce and kind. He shaped me into the wolf I am today but wasn’t able to live to see it. He was diligent. Had the best interest of his people at heart and put his family before him. Even till the very last breath. My father had gone to battle with a rival clan with his soldiers and won fair and square, only for him to be ambushed by rogues on his way back. It was no way for a wolf that honorable to die. The Grand Black wolf. Known by all and feared by all. The world stopped when he died. At least mine did.

It has been my life mission to slowly but surely get rid of all the rogues on the whole of the Coast. Most especially the ones responsible for the death of my father.

There was a slight tilt in the interrogation earlier that suggested that the rogues in the south are not working independently. They may or may not be working for a higher power, someone who has hired them to wreak havoc and we are on the path to discovering if that is true and who that person might be.

“Rogues are quick to surrender on a normal day irrespective of what they did. But for a rogue to be this quiet and endure torture for this period of time, then he must definitely have something over his head, or something to protect.”  Carlos explains in an attempt to keep me within reason. “We are this close to uncovering it. He is still keeping mute but I can see his walls breaking down. He won’t be quiet for long.”

“Are you torturing him enough?” I ask for added effect. I have the feeling they are not doing enough and I am itching all over to step in and render my services.

“He is weak now, any more torture might make it physically difficult for him to speak up and give us the information we need”

I rub my palm over my face, turning the door knob to my office and stepping inside. Carlos follows in behind me, shutting the door after him. I amble over to my oak wooden desk and lower myself unto the chair in front of it, resting my elbows on the table and my fingers on my chin.

Carlos observes me silently, placing a palm flat on the other end of the table and holding my gaze. “I understand your reasons for wanting to destroy the rogue escapades from its roots but asides that, you are not yourself lately. If not that I am fully aware you were male I would mistake you for a female in her heat.”

I scratch my stubble, twisting in my chair from side to side. I plaster a frown on my face, although it is not like I particularly have any reason to smile at the moment.

“Is it the little white wolf?” Carlos’s knowing voice makes me snap my gaze to him.

“Why bring that up now?” I ask with furrowed brows.

“Observation. Your little mood switch started around the time we returned from the South.”  He shrugs, a sly look on his face that tells me he knows he is not wrong. I huff and run my hands over my face.

I knew I was going to see Ruelle again. I knew she was mine and that what we had couldn’t be doubted anymore, but what I didn’t predict was how tough the period before I saw her again would be. It is taking everything in me not to fly to the South and grab her by the wrist, pulling her with me. But I know better than to do that. I need to at least take care of what I currently have on my hands. Silly me for thinking that just because I didn’t want a Luna, I wouldn’t get one.

She hasn’t left my thoughts for one single second. Part of the reasons why I am completely on edge and loosing my patience especially with this rogue we detained is because I need to hurry this shit up and go get her. But the asshole is refusing to cooperate. Not that he knows he is within a deadline. But I still find it extremely infuriating.

“Now is hardly the time.”  Is all I tell Carlos, my hands falling with a thud unto my hardwood desk. “I can’t bring her here now”

“Why’s that?”

“A lot of things require my attention right now”

He lifts a finger, tilting his head slightly with a pensive look on his face. “On the contrary, and in my opinion if you would allow it of course…”.   I don’t. But I let him talk anyway. “The only thing that requires your attention right now is her. Because from the look of things you are trying to put your attention into all these other things and I dare say you are failing terribly, my lord.”  He shakes his head.

“I should have known better than to let you get this comfortable with me.”  I wiggle my forefinger in his face with a scowl and he, being the barely bothered prick he is, raises his hands in surrender while shrugging his shoulders.

“What’s done is done, my lord. Now you have access to an endless stream of unsolicited advice.”  He sighs, then perks up again. “Oh! And by the way an invitation to the Howl Gathering from Garron came for you a few days ago. You were too busy to see it”

I WAS too busy to see it but I didn’t need to. I knew the exact date of the Howl Gathering and was steadily counting the minutes. I knew I was going to see her again, and bring her with me. I didn’t know if it was the time yet, but I also didn’t know if I could survive another day without her again.

Carlos picks up a wooden file from the shelf and frowns down at it, “A box of wild flowers also came a few days ago for you. Didn’t know you had admirers. Normally I would have discarded it but it looked pretty specific. Had a note as well. You might want to check it out.”  He gave a slight bow just for formalities before walking out of my office.

Wild flowers. That can’t be good.

Pushing the thought momentarily to the back of my mind, I pushed up from my seat and stalked towards the floor to ceiling glass windows overlooking my Keep in my office, folding my hands behind me. I could see everything from up here. And whenever I stood in this position I felt so much like the Grand Black wolf, my father. This was the position I always found him in when I walked into the office. Overlooking the keep. He knew everything but always said very little.

In times like this where I felt like my emotions and responsibilities were all over the place, I always wished he was here to guide me.

After a few minutes of standing by the window, I decided I needed to take a break. I left my office and headed deep into the forest surrounding my Keep in my wolf, my clothes tearing and falling around me as I sprint towards the woods. It was the only thing I did that made me feel close to her and I wanted nothing more than to be close to her.

I sat on my haunches in the middle of a clearing in the forest, my muzzle in the air as I inhaled the cool forest air. Smells just like her. There were flowers growing by the little stream in the clearing and I could swear whatever she used to wash her hair had these flowers in them or their fragrances at the very least.

She was everywhere. She meant it when she said she practically lived in the forest. It is the only place you could ever go to find her, whether she was or wasn’t there. The Howl Gathering was too soon in the rational part of my brain, but at the same time, the radical part was counting the minutes till that day. For some reason I felt consumed by that part.

I ambled over to the stream and drank from it, feeling the most relaxed I have been since coming back from the South.

I feel I am this close to laying my hands on the rogues who attacked my father but it doesn’t seem to be forthcoming. The tip we got about them being hired by a person with power, most likely an Alpha, is the only explanation as to why their attacks are more rampant and violent. It is also a very more valid excuse as to why they killed me father, who was known and loved by everyone. My father was immovable during his reign, never lost any battles and had many allies. Rogues couldn’t have killed him. But a planned ambush from a rival Alpha might succeed. So that is what we are going with. And since Garron was the one who brought it up, he might have more information about it which I already plan to discuss during the Gathering.

After a few hours of being in the forest and two kills to fill up my wolf. I returned to my Keep. I had the guards bring me a coat and returned to my rooms. I was met with the box of wild flowers waiting for me on my bed, along with the invitation from Garron, and I immediately knew who put it there.

Fucking Carlos. He must have really wanted me to see this.

I showered and returned to my room, my eyes monitoring the box as though there were snakes in it. There was only one person who thought to send me wild flowers every once in a while, and it wasn’t always a romantic gesture. It was more like a reminder of the less honorable season of my life that I will always want to forget.

‘There is only one woman meant for you, son. No point chasing another because whenever she calls you, you have to answer or you will know no peace. It is the design of the Gods.’

My father’s words to me on one of the days I went hunting with him. Silly me didn’t understand the meaning of this until I tried it and learned my lesson. I walked over to the box and opened it, fishing out the note from among the flowers and running my eyes over it. It was a fine pink note and the letters scribbled on it were cursive.

Pretentious as always.

I read the words and suddenly grew cold. When I was done reading it I tossed the note across my room with an angry swing and kicked the box of flowers outside my window.

Fuck!!