Chapter 25: Shadows of Distrust

The weight of their stares was already upon me before I stepped into the training yard. Wherever I travelled, I could sense the whispers, the sideways looks, and the hardly concealed stares. I remained an outsider, still the omega from a competing pack, still the woman whom Jared labelled a traitor, no matter what I achieved. 

Redwater wasn't prepared to believe me either.  

The tension in the air increased as soon as my boots touched the hard earth of the training grounds. A few of the fighters who had been sparring stopped talking and reduced their voices to whispers when they realised I had arrived.  

Keeping my chin up, I refused to be weak. Wolves prey on the weak, if that's what I took away from Midnight Moon.  

Derek had advised me to begin practising with the pack to gain their respect, but I could immediately see that this would be difficult.  

To the side, I noticed Ilara conversing with a few fighters. Her eyebrows raised slightly upon seeing me, yet she stayed quiet. She was among the rare individuals who had treated me neutrally, not excessively friendly nor overly hostile. 

Cassius, though, was less nuanced. He leaned on a pile of wooden crates and grinned. "Look who chose to come along with us. Hopefully, traitor, you're prepared for a genuine battle.  

His remarks caused some warriors to laugh while others just observed, anticipating my response.  

I looked him in the eye fairly. "Are we now referring to that as training?"  

His smile got bigger. It's training for fighters. What you are doing here is something I don't know what we would call it.  

I made myself keep my cool and clenched my fists. Though it wasn't this open, I had anticipated pushback.  

Derek had forewarned me that I wouldn't be welcomed by all of his wolves. I was, after all, Jared's old friend. By their standards, I was either a spy or a liability.  

However, I wasn't going to back down. No more.  

I firmly stated, looking around the group, "I came here to train." "I advise any of you who are having issues with that to speak with your Alpha about it."  

Their attention was drawn to that. A couple of the fighters looked at each other, and Cassius's smile dimmed a bit.  

But a deep voice broke the tension before he could respond.  

“She is correct.”  

Derek.   

The throng dispersed as he moved forward, his keen eyes scanning his pack. Although he didn't need it, he wasn't wearing armour today. Even his mere presence demanded compliance.  

He went on, "She trains with us," in a tone that made no space for disagreement. "You will respect it, but you don't have to like it."  

Cassius let out a harsh sigh, but he didn't protest.  

Derek turned to face me at that moment, his face unreadable. "You're with me today if training is important to you."  

A shock wave swept across the group.  

Ilara's forehead raised, but she said nothing.  

I took a nod. "I am prepared."  

He looked at me for a second, then gestured to the yard's open area. "So, let's see what you can accomplish."  

###   

Derek was harsh with me.  

He moved like a scavenger as soon as I entered the sparring arena. He hit me just as I was about to reply, putting me on the defensive.  

I ducked low as he struck at me, avoiding his initial blow. However, he moved too quickly. I collapsed to the ground as his next move knocked the breath out of my lungs.  

The warriors who were watching rang with laughter.  

I forced myself to stand again, gritting my teeth.  

"Very sluggish," Derek remarked. “Once more.”  

I let out a deep breath and lunged. I foresaw his counter this time and moved just in time to barely escape his hold. He easily seized my wrist as I attempted to hit his ribs, throwing me off balance.  

I struck the ground once more, more forcefully.  

Additional giggling.  

My chest flashed with anger. I take it personally, not Derek.  

With my body hurting, I forced myself to stand.  

Derek's gaze was unreadable as he studied me. You will not survive a genuine combat if this is all you are capable of doing.  

With my frustration seething just below the surface, I looked him in the eye. "Then I'll try again."  

Approval, perhaps, flickered in his gaze.  

“Once more,” he said.  

###   

I was worn out and had bruises all over my body by the end of training. However, I hadn't given up.  

Although the pack was still observing me, they were not as mocking. I had been seen fighting. They'd witnessed me not give up.  

Trust wasn't there yet.  

It was a beginning, though.  

I sensed a presence next to me as I walked back to the main hall. Ilara.   

"You lasted longer than I anticipated," she remarked nonchalantly.  

I breathed out. "That will be a complement to me."  

She had a sly smile. You ought to. Cassius wagered that you wouldn't survive for five minutes.  

I rolled my eyes. "I am sorry to let him down."  

Ilara became more serious in her expression. "They won't accept you right now," you know.  

“I understand.”  

"You might never be accepted by them."  

After hesitating, I nodded. "That's something I also know."  

She took a moment to examine me. Why are you still here, then?  

I had no simple response to that. Perhaps because I was at a loss about where to go, it could be that I wasn't running for the first time in my life.  

Or maybe because I wanted to show Derek, myself, and them that I belonged.  

I only stated, "I'm here." "It ought to be sufficient."  

Ilara did not immediately respond. She did, however, nod after a time.  

"For now," she remarked.  

I was aware it was as close to acceptance as I would receive.  

Right now.