Chapter 138: The breath of renewal

I went out into the cold morning air, down the empty corridors of the pack house with wandering feet. It was one of gentle promise, a morning when the world was gentle and reflective, and seemed to gentleness with each step, as if the shadows of past nights had finally begun to give way to a more tender light. I walked blindly alongside the house, letting my brain drift as easily as my legs. The broken stone walls in the pale morning light held promises of memories past, and the soft play of shadow and sunlight let me remember that every morning was a new beginning.

My feet led me along curving paths beneath vaulting trees whose leaves rustled softly in the wind. I breathed in the smell of dew and wildflowers, letting the soft loveliness of nature calm the residual shock of the tempestuous night that still clung to my heart. With each step, I was reminded softly that I lived, and hope there was in the world, though black tonight.

Following the peaceful, contemplative stroll, I returned to the pack house with cautious resolve. Something was pulling at my conscience, a need to find those who had ever been my guides in the magical world and the real world too. I had come to understand that today, I needed to talk to Leah. It excited me as well as a small spark of hope. I walked along the cozy passageway to Leah's room, my chest pounding happily with expectation of soothing advice.

I knocked softly and went in, to find a surprise. Leah's room was crowded with a collection of whimsical, colored vial bottles of potion. Glass partitions sparkled in light in silver sheens, casting infinitesimal rainbows on the scratched wooden floor. Each bottle, containing light blue liquids, dark green liquids, shining gold liquids, and dark silvers, appeared to pulse with life. There was the scent of herbs and ancient incense hanging in the air, a thick, almost choking smell that held out promises of rich alchemical mysteries.

Leah, sitting on a rigid workbench littered with vials, parchment, and clutches of dried herbs, looked up at her precise preparations as I opened the door. A soft, warm smile danced on her lips. "Good morning, Althea," she whispered softly, with a reassuring gentleness in her voice. "I see you're here to look over my latest attempt."

I stepped further into the room, passion and trusting curiosity entwining. "I couldn't help but see these vials of potion, Leah. What are you brewing?" I asked, my voice calm while my heart raced.

Leah stood up elegantly from her workbench, a twinkle of mischief and grim resolve in her eyes. "I'm making a batch of guard potions," she said, indicating the variety before us. "Word's gotten round, strange presences and agitated ghosts said to visit the pack house. I'm getting these to put up as a barrier, to purify the area and keep us from any negative vibes." Her hand moved through the ritual with ease practiced delicacy as she nodded toward a half-dozen or so labels, her writing neat and concise.

I slow-nodded, my gaze sipping each word. The idea, the notion, of building a bulwark against unknown dangers filled me with something, a fear that in the untying of long-buried secrets and deadly power, the bonds of our house and our society were unbreakable. "That sounds wonderful, Leah," I breathed, with feeling at the sense of practicality in her words. "I believe your instincts."

Some more friendly banter and a glance at the bottles of elixir led up to Leah's smile and "Now, come on with me. I'd like to show you something." She led me out of the room, my mind shifting from the warm perfuming of her shop to possible continuing magical activity.

I trailed behind him through deserted halls of pack house until we reached where we usually practiced, a private clearing in a small thicket at the field border. The clearing shone softly in pale, soft light of dawn, dew still clinging to tips of grass blades which shone like small gems. The air was crisp and vibrant, and the soft movement of the leaves was an impromptu orchestra that soothed my tortured mind.

Leah took me to the middle of the clearing and indicated that I was to sit on a flat, smooth stone. "Today, Althea, we're practicing a new degree of your ability," she instructed firmly but kindly. "We're going to drill deeper breathing techniques that will enable you to tap into the energy not just within you, but without as well."

I sat, the icy stone beneath me, and focused. "Breathe deeply," Leah instructed me, "and clear your mind. Your breath is the doorway between body and the magic that encircles you."

I closed my eyes and breathed, the icy air filling slow and deep exhaling once more. For what felt like hours, Leah guided me through a series of exercises. I came to breathe slow, to synch the pulse of me with the soft susurration of the wind, and to feel the faint thrum of life with every breath. I felt the force of the earth moving through me, a smooth, unbroken motion that began to harmonize with the magic inside. My head stopped spinning, and the intensity of my earlier fears dissipated into quiet concentration. Leah's voice was steady comforting background: "Feel it, Althea. Let your breath blend with nature. With every release, draw energy from the world about you. With every intake, let it fill, let it strengthen."

I heard her say it, and gradually the change took its grip on me. The atmosphere that enveloped me was charged with energy, and with every out-breath appeared as if I moved a step further toward releasing the potential which now flowed so effortlessly. I sensed the power growing inside me, a raging fire that erupted from my belly outward and sang its song in harmony with the rhythm of nature.

Last, with morning drifting close to noon and light milder, Leah came forward with a wicked grin. "Now let us test your mastery," she said. "Let us find out if you can channel your energy into something tangible. Take a look at that small plant there."

I opened my eyes to view the small, beautiful flower, whose once lavish petals were now droopy and bleached.

It was wilting at the clearing's edge, as if it no longer wanted to be. "Give life and color to the plant," Leah instructed me, her voice firm but with a challenge that could not be missed. "Give out energy from within you into the plant . Let its life force merge with your own magic." Demonstrate to me that you can tap what is latent." My heart pounded in my chest as I looked at the dying flower.

It was a plain idea, but it had been filled with intense magical ability, a test of my abilities at giving life. I took a deep breath, clearing my mind as I had been taught. I closed my eyes and visualized the flower's soothing power, a glowing green light that pulsed with life. I could envision that power as a peaceful brook from the flowers, into my very core, and filling me with vigor and renewal. I reached out my hand, shivering a little as I focused on the touch.

No one moved for an eternity. I tried to focus, breathe slowly, surely, but need crept in. Fear of failure made my heart pound. "It's not working," I complained half-under my breath and felt a bout of exasperation seething inside me. I tossed my hand away, burdened by a mix of frustration and anger. I wished to retreat, to back away from this test looming before me, tantalizingly out of reach. But Leah's soft voice broke into my quandary. "Don't quit, Althea," she urged strongly, stepping forward and resting a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Be stubborn. Magic is not taught in a day; it's forged by test and will. You must believe in your breathing to lead you and believe in the power already within you."

Her words, liberally laced with compassion and determination, were inestimably true to me.

I took a deep breath again, focused, and shut my eyes, allowing myself to drift once more into the exercise. I visualized the energy of the flower, its radiant color and its gentle, throbbing light, and visualized me blending it with the warm, comforting light of my own energy. I let the rhythm of my breathing match that soft susurration of the leaves and the sigh of the wind, taking deeper breaths with each inhalation that farther entered into that gentle communion. And then, in an eternity of a moment, I felt it.

A warmth bloomed from my chest and I gasped as I felt it.