Chapter 3 — Bree

Derek is standing just outside the door. It’s raining now, huge drops that splatter on the roof and have plastered Derek’s brown hair to his head. Without saying a word, I let him in. After my initial scare, I realized there was no way Hugo could know about my college admission. Derek follows me inside the trailer, shaking his head and spraying drops of water everywhere.

“Hey, stop that.” I tap a restraining hand on his muscular chest, and he grins down at me. He’s tall, almost a foot taller than my five-seven, and broad-shouldered, with green eyes and a gentle smile. He’s been my best friend since we were little kids.

“Hi, Bree.” He combs a hand through his hair, taming it a little. Barefoot, with his clothes covered in wet spots of rain, he still looks like a model.

Or he would, without the bruise above his left eye.

Concerned, I raise a finger to touch it, and Derek grabs my hand and pushes it away.

“Just leave it, Bree.”

“Training?”

He nods.

Wolves heal fast, very fast. For the bruise to still be visible, it must have been a very nasty injury when he received it. Hugo trains the young males himself, and his brutality as a teacher matches the menace in his appearance. I have no doubt that under Derek’s shirt, there’ll be other bruises, but if I say anything, he’ll defend Hugo. I know all the excuses by heart.

We have to be strong.

We have to be ready for anything.

We are the last surviving werewolf pack in North America. The survival of our pack and species depends on us.

“I came earlier,” Derek is saying. “I thought we could run near the falls.” From our pack bond, I can sense his memory of the run, like a rush of sensory feeling and images—the roar of the water falling hundreds of feet, the crisp sharpness of the air, the soft grass under steady paws. There’s something else, too: blows, many blows in quick succession from a bigger, stronger wolf.

Concern floods me. “Derek…”

He shuts down the violent memories from his training and gives me a steady look, waiting for an answer to his question.

“You know I can’t run.”

He has the grace to look embarrassed. “With my permission, you can.” The words are awkward and grating because we both know they’re wrong, but Hugo has forbidden any female in the pack to shift without the permission of a male.

Another rule that doesn't make sense.

There’s so much Hugo does that makes no sense, especially his rules that target the women in the pack.

“So, where were you?” Derek asks again.

“I was at school.”

A surge of frustration floods him and something else too. Scorn. Derek was home-schooled within the pack and now spends most of his time training with the other males. He doesn’t understand why my mother made me go to the local high school or why I kept going after she was gone. There’s no point in formal education for the members of our pack. According to what we are taught, what Derek believes…my place is here, teaching the lore of the pack to the cubs.

“I wish I understood why you keep going. Humans have nothing to teach us. They are blind.”

“They may be blind, but that doesn't mean they have nothing to teach.” Even in a small town like River Bend, I’ve seen glimpses of what the world outside looks like, and I want to see more for myself.

Derek takes a deep breath and moves closer. “Bree…I have my own trailer now. I’m ready. I waited while you mourned your mom, but it’s been close to a year.”

As his words sink in, I take a step back. More than being best friends, we’ve been promised to each other since we were cubs. That’s the way the pack works, so everybody knows their place and what’s expected of them.

My place is to marry Derek and have cubs to strengthen the pack.

My place.

I love Derek, but I want more.

“Derek, I’m not ready.”

He exhales. “Bree—”

“I’m going to college.” The words come out in a rush. I lift my gaze to his face and see the shock in his eyes. Shock and hurt.

“Bree.” His voice is tinged with disbelief as if he can’t even comprehend what I said. “You know you can’t.” 

Can’t? I lift my chin and hold his gaze. “I am going.”

Derek’s face hardens, and suddenly, he looks so much older than his nineteen years. “Does our survival mean nothing to you, Bree? Does this pack mean nothing to you? Are you so selfish that you’ll see us all destroyed because you want to get a taste of adventure? We are the last surviving pack. Our place is here. To defend our pack.”

“I know, but…I want a life, Derek.” My eyes plead with his. “What’s the point of surviving if we have to hide in this hole? How is this life? How is it enough?”

“If you go, you can never come back. You’ll be a stray.” He spits the word like a curse. A stray. Packless. Hugo teaches the males to chase packless wolves from our territory. It’s against pack rules even to communicate with them.

I shiver at the thought. “I won’t be packless. Falling River is my home.”

“And yet you want to leave.” His mouth sets. “Hugo won’t let you go.”

“He’s not my god.”

“He’s your alpha.”

“And that gives him the right to determine my life…forever?”

Derek doesn’t reply. He doesn’t look at me either. I know there’s a part of him that wants to do anything to prevent me from leaving, but I’m hoping the part of him that loves me will win over.

“I wasn’t planning on letting Hugo know about my plans to leave,” I tell Derek, my voice softer than before. There’s no way Hugo will let me leave. He watches over the pack with jealous eyes and expects—no, demands—total obedience.

He’ll kill me before letting me go.

“Obviously.” Derek’s voice is bitter. “I guess I’m the lucky one who gets to keep your secret and betray my pack and my alpha in the process.”

“Derek,” I go to him, placing one hand on his shoulder. “I just need you to be my friend.”

He runs one hand through his still-wet hair. I can see that he’s torn, and I hate that I’m the cause.

“I love you,” he says quietly.

I flinch at the words and catch the spark of pain in his eyes. I hate hurting him, but it is my life. “If you really love me, you’ll let me go.”

He glares at me, then, without a word, he turns and slams out of the trailer. I hear his steps recede, and I wait, half expecting him to return with Hugo and the rest of the pack to stop me from leaving.

I wait, and night falls. Nothing happens.

I read the letter again and again.

College. Life outside the pack. The world.

Don’t be a fool, a voice whispers inside my head. Who are you to think you can leave the pack? You're the weakest here, a helpless female at that. Derek wants you. Can’t you just be grateful? Take what he’s offering, and stop thinking about leaving.

Don’t be a fool.

Stay with what you know.