Chapter 167
I shut the door behind me and head back to the sitting room. Gillian isn’t where he was before. He’s standing at the window, half-hidden by the curtain, peering out as if expecting a monster to leap at the glass. I drop back into my old spot and pick up the jar again. Once he’s sure the coast is clear, he lets the curtain fall shut and returns to me. He sinks down beside me with the sort of horrified expression that makes me pity him and laugh at the same time.
I sigh. “Did he threaten you?”
“No.” His voice goes distant, like he’s mentally reliving the moment. “He told me to prepare a spare throat and head because I’m going to need it.”
I click my tongue. Gillian, that is literally the definition of a threat.
“The rest of it got cut off by the barrier,” he mutters.
I look at him and smirk. “Are you scared?” He nods without hesitation. I laugh. “I thought you were immune to alpha commands,” I tease, nudging him in the side.
Gillian lets out a dry, sarcastic laugh. “Commands, baby tooth. Not threats.”
Baby tooth? I let it go.
“Don’t worry, though.” He pulls his knees up to his chest and rests his head against the sofa cushion. The movement makes his hair spill across the white fabric, soft strands falling over his face. A few catch the light, drawing attention straight to his mouth. His lips are glossy—they are always glossy—which I’ve reluctantly accepted as part of his natural beauty. Glossy, soft, annoyingly sexy.
My eyes get stuck on his face, particularly his mouth. It’s ridiculous how distracting he is without even trying. Why is this man still determined to remain a virgin? And why hasn’t the universe handed him his mate yet?
“You know, Luna… Sapphire.” Gillian tilts his head slightly, his eyes shifting down to meet mine.
My ears heat the moment I realise he’s caught me staring, but the embarrassment dies fast when it becomes clear he either hasn’t noticed or is politely pretending he hasn’t.
“Do you love him? The Alpha, I mean.”
I look away and shrug. I’m not sure whether it’s love or loyalty to the mate bond—maybe it’s both. But in the end, it doesn’t change anything. He’s mine. That part is simple. Love will settle where it’s meant to. It always does. I’ve never sat down to analyse what love is supposed to feel like; I just know I can’t live without him, and he’ll always come first.
“Idiot,” Zinnia says, shaking her head with pity and a bright smile. I glance at Gillian and immediately regret it. He’s watching me with a relaxed expression but his gaze is sharp enough to make me sweat. I focus firmly on the jar of chocolate peanuts.
“I suppose it doesn’t matter,” he says quietly, as if convincing himself. “If he’s yours, then he’s yours.” He exhales and his tone shifts. “You know, Astra is the last woman Alpha Ajax would ever dream of loving. Actually—no. She’s the last woman any man with a functioning brain, rather than just a functioning dick, would ever love. She’s shameless. A complete nymphomaniac.”
Since he’s brought her up, I remember the gossip. She’d been interested in Gillian, apparently.
I turn to him again, studying him more closely. His smile slips, thin and unhappy, before he turns his face away. He’s sad.
“Gillian? Are you alright?”
“No, I’m not.” His voice is sharp enough to cut. “Astra’s been hitting on me since I was sixteen. I hated her the moment I saw her. She’s the reason I built immunity to commands.”
His fists clench until his knuckles turn white, tension trembling through his hands. My stomach tightens. What exactly has Astra done to him?
“Gillian—”
“She tried to rape me, that disgusting woman.” His voice comes out as a low growl. “You’ve got no idea how painful it is to be helpless against—” He stops, laughs bitterly. “Oh wait. You do.”
He’s talking about the time Drix nearly forced himself on me under his wolf’s control.
“I couldn’t move,” he says, his voice cracking around the edges. “My body wouldn’t listen. I was being forced to touch her.” His hands slide up his own torso as if reliving the sensation, and he wraps his arms around himself, shoulders shaking. “I swore I’d keep myself for my mate. I didn’t even know what people did during sex. But to be forced to give oral sex to a woman I already knew was filthy… to be that close to being defiled by her… it was horrifying.”
I freeze, stuck between wanting to comfort him and wanting to burn Astra alive. Drix is the only man I’ve seen cry in front of me, and while Gillian isn’t built like Drix, he’s not the type to crack either.
I reach out, but he shakes his head and gently nudges my hand away. He doesn’t want touch. He just needs space to breathe.
“Did she…” I swallow the question, biting my tongue hard.
“No. She almost did, but Brie saved me.” He sniffs once, eyes unfocused. “I managed to get away, but the nightmares kept coming. And then one night she just… appeared in my room again.”
My whole body jerks. What the hell is wrong with that woman? Is she mad?
“She tried again,” he continues, voice tight. “But that time I snapped. I developed immunity, awakened my earth ability, and pushed her back. She got a little hurt, but she didn’t trigger the contract penalty. She didn’t stop after that. I kept dodging her, but when I turned eighteen, I found out she was my mate—”
“What the fuck!” Zinnia and I scream at the exact same time. My heart nearly jumps out of my chest. Astra? Astra? How does someone as sweet as Gillian end up shackled to a woman like that? What kind of cosmic joke is this?
“You… tell me you rejected her.” My voice wobbles. Cold sweat runs down my back and my gums tingle with the urge to shift. Anger hits me so hard my vision flickers red.
He lets out a hollow laugh. “Do you think she’d take that lightly?”
No. Astra would kill the universe before accepting a rejection.
“I’m lucky Jericho was with me when the scent clicked,” he says. “He blocked it and took me straight out. Kira and Jericho brought me to a witch they knew. She managed to bend the bond and seal it. But it’s not broken. I’ll never be free of it unless Astra dies.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s a hijacked bond.” His voice flattens with dread. “According to the witch, sometimes when an alpha female and her wolf get too obsessed with an unmated male, and mix it with the right magic, they can hijack the male’s bond and replace his real mate. Astra must’ve used the spell to force the Alpha’s love. But her wolf is more obsessed with me. And since she shares that obsession—and Ajax’s soul can’t be touched—the spell stuck to me instead.”
In other words, Astra thought her spell failed, but it didn’t. It worked. Just not on the man she wanted.
“And the only way to break it is if Astra dies, which is most unlikely,” I mutter.
He gives me a sad, tired smile. “Or I meet my true mate. Which isn’t happening anytime soon.”
You’ve got to be kidding me.