Chapter 80: Diety

I woke up with a start. My eyes flew open and I was sweating. The room I was in was excessively white. It seemed familiar. Some pieces of furniture looked like they had a white veil over them.

Hospital furniture.

I furrowed my brows as my hand went to my stomach. I glanced at my arms, they had white needles sticking out of them, but that wasn't the strange part. There was a yellow luciform outline.

Something was so off but so familiar. I pulled the covers back and pulled myself out of bed, the white hospital dress split. I stared as the gown wavered and then fell back in bed, attached to my body.

I gasped as I backed up. I was still lying in bed, well, another me. An unconscious me.

Wait, I've been here before. Right?

"Selene?" I asked out loud. I looked around but I didn't see anything.

... Was I actually dead? Was this the afterlife?...

I felt light-headed as I cradled my belly. No. I didn't want this. Not now.

I couldn't help as my knees buckled and I sank to the floor. It was so cold. A sob left my lips as I slid my hands up the gown for direct contact.

"No…" I cried. Through my teary eyes, I looked back up at my body on the hospital bed. "You stupid fucking slut!" I yelled at my corpse. I was livid.

I pulled myself up and stalked towards the bed.

"Could you be anymore weak?" I screamed, I didn't care about my tone, I had a bone to pick. My corpse just laid there, eyes closed, still. I don't know what I was on to think she'd respond. But I'm glad she couldn't, I had so much I needed to let out.

"What is your fucking problem? Huh?" My eyes stung and one hand left my stomach to clench into a fist. "You were fucking pregnant! Did that mean anything to you?"

Silence. I was fueled by it.

"You could've done something with your life! You went through how much? And- and now that there is something worth living for, you fucking leave!" My throat constricted the way it did before I cried. "The hell is wrong with you?" I sobbed as my legs wobbled.

I closed my eyes for a second to calm myself- I was far from being done. "You got fucking branded! You put up with that? You got raped countless times! I fucking forgot how many! And that wasn't enough? You had to wait until I had something I loved?" I screamed.

I felt like a toddler, throwing a tantrum because I was denied a piece of candy.

Well, I wanted a toddler! I wanted my baby! I selfishly wanted me and Benlyam to have kids and grow up with them.

... But I don't get that...

Why don't I get a happy ending? I did everything! I helped people time after time of getting hurt! I didn't do anything wrong…

"Why?" I asked, utterly broken inside. "If I was able to still be around Benlyam after everything, why couldn't you push on?" I sobbed and closed my eyes. "I just wanted…" I didn't finish.

I slumped over on the bed, but my body went through hers. I wailed harder. My hand fisted the sheet. My body shook with sobs as I rubbed my bump. What could've been…

My knees were so weak, I ended up sliding down the side of the bed, bringing the sheets with me. I wanted nothing more than to sit in Benlyams arms, they were so protective, so warm, so strong.

... No, he cut me and fucked me...

That made me cry harder. My whole body hurt. "I fucking hate you!" I mumbled in the sheets.

Sob after sob left my lips. I poured out my heart on these sheets. If anything- I would've been fine if I died, even if I gave birth. I'd give it to Benlyam and pass because I knew he would adore it. Something in me told me, despite all the stuff I went through with him. He would love our baby. I knew he would.

But now he would never even get the chance…

I hate myself!

I hate myself!

... I fucking hate myself!...

I choked on my tears as a hand touched my shoulder. I quickly lifted my head and turned around in utter fright. I thought I was dead? Do I have to be bothered in the afterlife?

My eyes landed on a woman. A Goddess to be correct.

"Selene?" I whispered and she frowned.

"My sweet child," she whispered as she neared my crumpled being. "Come here," she said gently. She kneeled down and reached out to me, I let myself be pulled into her embrace.

I was going to be selfish. I was going to enjoy this. I needed this. I deserved this. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me into her while I sobbed like a baby. She rubbed my back as I hiccuped, trying to console myself.

I was never close with my mother from what I could remember, I liked my dad more.

I always wanted my mom to be with me and hold me whenever I felt bad. But she left me, and Selene felt like a mother figure, I was going to take this moment for granted and wallow in myself. No one else was going to hold me.

... There was no one else...

"Shh Violet," she whispered in my hair. "You're okay, dear one. I promise." I sniffled and rested against her chest. One hand around my stomach and the other wiping my cheeks. I felt her stiffen for a second.

"Well that's forlorn," a rich, dark, regal voice spoke out. I flinched and quickly looked up, I subconsciously sunk into Selene. He sounded familiar.

I looked up to see a tall man with a dark silk button-up and dark pants. He even had a dazzling black crown that shimmered and glowed such a sinister aura. He looked familiar.

"Why are you here?" Selene asked. She seemed slightly irked at his presence. I glanced up at Selene. She had a small crease between her perfect eyebrows.

"It's fitting," he shrugged and snapped his fingers, a chair appearing.

"No, it's not," she snarled. "She's not dead."

My heart leaped.

... I'm not dead?...

Did my baby still have a chance? A wave of hope washed over me.

The familiar man scoffed, "Way to ruin the surprise," he shook his head.

"It wasn't a surprise!" Selene fired back. It seemed she didn't like the man. "She's shaken! Stop being inconsiderate!"

"Sweetie, that's what I do!" he reminded her. It seemed he didn't like Selene either.