Chapter 52

I jolted awake to something touching my cheek, brushing my hair away. I swatted it off. It took me too long a moment to realize it was Ezra, and I was still sitting on the floor.

I opened my eyes, but they felt heavy—too heavy.

It took me another long minute to groggily pull myself to stand. I stretched against my sore muscles for something to do, stifling a yawn.

Sleeping while sitting up on the floor was a bad idea; I needed to stay limber. But I knew I would have gotten not an hour of sleep without Ezra’s warm, steady presence.

“Hi,” I grumbled, unable to open my eyes through the stretches.

“Hi,” he replied, a smile in his voice.

I forced my eyes open to see him still sitting motionless on the long windowsill. “You look well rested,” I noted; I couldn’t hide my disdain.

He was perfect; he always was. I envied him; he was what I wished I could be.

Half of his mouth quirked up. “I rarely sleep deeply. I can get some sleep while still keeping watch,” he admitted.

“Warlock,” I muttered, and my sleepy smile echoed his as I made myself go to the bathroom.

I was sure he would have told me of any new developments, so I let myself stand in front of the warm water of the sink as it steamed around me.

I couldn’t remember a time I woke up this tired; even with a few hours of sleep, my anxiety tugged at me as soon as I woke. I felt like I was drugged, but Aksala kept purring that it was Ezra.

Whatever it was, deep sleep did not suit me.

I scrubbed at my puffy face and dragged a brush through my hair. When I came out, Ezra was in the same spot, entirely motionless, but his eyes trailed over me. I felt naked, but in a way that made me flush, made me a bit more awake under his fiery stare I couldn’t quite understand.

“No news,” he noted, his throat bobbed, giving away his careful composure. I fought a smile and only nodded. “I left..” he added and braced myself. “But you were safe.” I nodded again, unsure of how he could promise that, but I could take care of myself. “Some of my brothers are here,” he added slowly.

I found my voice, but it was scratchy. “For how long?” I croaked.

“They came last night. They were hidden, but watched your window. I also made sure your door could not be opened.” His face twitched into something that might have been a frown. “I’ll fix that now.” He jumped off the ledge with a slow grace I envied.

I watched him dismantle something across my door, but my curiosity wasn’t for that. “How many?”

“Three,” he responded. “For now. They will not be noticed.” He paused and looked back, his shoulders sagging slightly. “I will not take chances when it comes to your safety.”

My throat constricted, and I suddenly couldn’t say the thousand thoughts that flickered through me.

He stood and faced me, pinning me with his mismatched eyes. “Do you want to stay?” he asked. “At Black Forest?”

“Y-yes,” I rasped, reaching for that determination I briefly felt last night. I heard distant footsteps. “Alice is coming; I’ll go to breakfast.” I would do that, at least. I had to if I was going to attempt to stay here.

“If anything happens, if you even feel a bit unsure, run toward the forest where I met you last night,” he whispered and brushed past me so quickly I didn't have a chance to turn.

Alice knocked softly, and I composed my features haphazardly before she entered.

“I haven’t dressed yet,” I murmured and tried to flush, but I was feeling a whirlwind of emotions.

“Oh, that’s fine.” Alice hurried to my closet and went to grab a yellow dress, one of the ugliest I had.

“No,” I snapped. “No,” I repeated softer and looked at my feet. “The red, please.”

Alice helped me dress in silence. I was still unsure of the pattern of when she came here for mornings, but she seemed to do it almost daily now.

“I wanted to tell you that Amber is safe,” she whispered so quietly I barely even caught it.

I offered her a small smile. “Good,” I responded. “Thank you.”

She nodded and left. I stood grasping the edge of my dressing table, glancing at my reflection. It didn’t matter if I was ready or not. I had to do this. I turned to grab my shoes.

“You’ll need this,” My heart lurched as I stumbled back.

Ezra was standing behind me, tall and steady, as if he had been there the entire time. I hadn’t realized he never truly left. He was wearing a wry smile, holding out a dagger to me.

In his other hand were a few strips of black leather. “I adjusted it last night while you were sleeping,” he explained, sounding almost sheepish.

I blinked, still reeling from him appearing behind me.

“May I?” he asked, and I nodded slowly.

He knelt in front of me and met my eyes, searching as he lifted the hem of my dress. My breath caught for an entirely different reason this time as his knuckles caressed up my legs as he pulled the fabric up.

I sucked in when he reached my thigh, but he didn't go further. He deftly wrapped the leather around it, tightening it gently. His fingers brushed against the strap and attempted to dip between the leather and my skin, assuring it was tight.

He paused for a moment, and I stood motionless. There was a charged warmth between us when he was this close to me.

I felt that I became him, or we became each other, possibly something new. My body didn’t belong to me anymore; it was entirely attuned to him.

The cool metal of the dagger pushed against my thigh as he slipped it in place. My breath hitched; it felt so… so right. He adjusted it one last time, the pads of his calloused fingers lingering on my skin, and the fabric of my dress slid down my leg too soon.

He rose to stand over me and said in his rumbling way, “In case you need to cut your way to an exit.”

I swallowed; I knew my cheeks were flushed. “I’ll bring it back to you,” I promised.

***

I listened hard as I edged near the dining room. It was hard to hear with all the Omegas clamoring about the halls and the overlap of the kitchen chatter.

I heard Alpha Raymond’s low mumbling for certain, and possibly two sets of cutlery scraping the plates. I couldn’t pause outside for too long as an Omega was standing there to open the door.

I nodded to her, looking down.

It was strange now how unnatural it felt to put that mask on. For years, it was my sanctuary; it was something I created and mastered and wore like a second skin. Wore like my only skin sometimes.

But now that it was cracked, even just with Ezra, it was hard to piece back together.

Slipping into someone else felt calming before, but now it was strange, and it happened so quickly, so unexpectedly, I now had to actively remind myself of who I was playing.

Hopefully, not for much longer.

I had to reign in my shock when Luna Addison and Nolan were both there next to Alpha Raymond. Nolan looked up at me and set down his fork, but his grip around his knife tightened. I forced myself to look at my feet and scrape my chair out, sinking into it.

I swear Luna Addison was glaring at her mate. I just tentatively pulled the plate of hash brows toward me and then plated some eggs. I felt Nolan’s stare boring into my every movement, but I didn’t dare look.

I ate quietly, listening intently for any sign of warriors who would storm through the door or for Nolan’s feet indicating he was about to stand and tell his parents what I had done.

The door opened, and I jumped, almost dropping my fork. Nolan glanced at me but looked at the intruder. It was just an Omega refilling drinks and bringing out a fresh plate of eggs.

After the longest almost hour of my life, Luna Addison stood, and I felt her look at me. I set down my cutlery and folded my hands on my lap. I was itching to grasp my dagger, even the fabric of my dress over it, but I forced myself to stay still.

I slowly met Luna Addison’s eyes and tilted my head curiously.

“You’ll need to change into black; we have a funeral,” she said, her voice unsettlingly calm before she walked silently out of the room.

My eyes were wide, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. This was a lot harder now that Nolan knew. I couldn’t fully slip back into that person I was pretending to be, the person I might have actually been at times, so I just looked at where The Luna had just stood.

Alpha Raymond stood and acted as if he didn’t even notice me. He turned to Nolan and said, “Be ready in an hour. The final night’s feast will go ahead,” he said with something that I couldn’t tell was pride or disdain. It might have even been shock, but I did sense an undertone of fear… at Nolan? But that was not an unusual reaction I just hadn’t expected it.

I couldn’t wait until his fear was directed correctly—directed at me.

“Yes, Father,” Nolan replied, but I felt his gaze boring into me again.

When Alpha Raymond started walking away, I went to stand, about to mutter some excuse.

“No,” Nolan said with more sharp confidence than I had ever heard from him. “Sit.”

I sank back in the chair and put my hands on the table, dropping my mask entirely. I looked him in the eyes, raised my chin, and waited.

He leaned back, shock rippled across his face, but he closed his eyes and shook it off. “Who are you?” he asked the same question Hudson had.

“Simone Baldour,” I replied. “Heir to The Blood Moon Pack, last of her line.”

“And how long have you been that person?” he asked, his voice cool.

“Since birth.”

“How long have you been… been pretending?” he asked.

I would have said the entire time, but that was a lie. Even when I was pulled from my stupor, even when I was allowed to leave my room, I was still a shell of a person holding onto a flicker of anger.

I held onto that small flame, and it became my lifeline, the only way I knew that I was still real. Anger was the only thing that kept me here away from my insanity.

“I planned this while I was locked in my room,” I admitted; there was no reason to lie.

He leaned back and rubbed his chin. “I see.” He looked at me and shook his head. “I would ask why, but…” he trailed off, unable to meet my eyes anymore.

“It is not hard to guess,” I agreed. “I had reason enough.”

He swallowed and nodded.

“And now you are the next Alpha,” I noted. “You’re welcome, by the way.” I raised a brow; I was good at faking weakness, so why couldn’t I pull a bit more confidence than I felt at the moment?

He pursed his lips. “I never wanted the title,” he responded softly.

“Never thought you would get it,” I corrected, and he snorted, looking back at me. “What?” I raised a brow in response to his incredulous look.

“Is this the real you?” he asked. “I just…” He ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair. “I can’t put it together.”

I sagged a bit, breathing out. “I’m unsure honestly of who I am anymore.” I clamped down on my mouth. I didn’t mean to admit that.

“I see,” he responded.

“You haven’t told anyone,” I said; it wasn’t a question. His lips formed a thin line, and he shook his head once.

“Will you?” I asked, forcing myself not to avert my gaze even though my heart picked up speed at the question.

He folded his hands and leaned forward. “It depends on what you are planning.”

I snorted, shaking my head. “I thought it might,” I retorted.

I knew better than to hope that there was a way to get him to stay silent without shoving a dagger in his throat, but part of me still foolishly hoped for it.

Before either of us could speak another word, the doors opened, and Omegas came to clear the plates. They were quiet and worked perfectly together; it might have been beautiful if the situation had been different. They continued to bustle about and clean, knowing ranked members would never stop their conversation on account of them.

But this time was different. What we were discussing was far more dangerous than pack gossip.

I heard Nolan’s chair move as I was focused elsewhere. I glanced back at him, trying to seem impassive, bored even. “I’ll see you at the funeral,” Nolan said. His face was grim, and I stood at the same time he did.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” I countered, but kept my voice even.

I wasn’t going to goad him, not when he had the upper hand. But I was done backing down.