I don’t know how I didn’t just take her against the wall.
What stroke of control could have come over me to resists such temptation.
Fuck, fucking fuck, maybe this is a bad idea, but now that I’ve tasted her, do I want to go back on my acceptance?
I own her.
Own her like she’s mine to do with whatever I please. My damn dick is twitching at the thought of all the things I want to do to her, and we haven’t even gotten started yet.
I walk down the corridor with the taste of her sweet nectar in my mouth and the hums of her pleasure ringing through my ears. In my mind is that look in her eyes of desire she’s trying so hard to resist. I may be a monster, but at least I’ve never been a liar.
Never been one to resist, so I give myself credit for walking away, but it’s only half credit because I know I want more. Greed fills my mind, and it makes me want more. Especially when just the taste of her has steadied my nerves in some sort of way.
I head to the playroom, where Marguerite is with Timothy. She’s watching his train set go around the tracks I had built into the walls. The whole room is set up for it so the little red and black train set can drive around the room like it’s real. There are mountains and a little island. Each stop has people he can put on the train.
It’s one of his favorite things that makes him smile every day. Today is no different. He giggles in that seriously cute way kids laugh as the little train passes by some trees.
My boy’s face lights up though when he sees me. As he sees me, all thoughts of his favorite toy are forgotten, and he rushes over, his little feet carrying him as quickly as they can.
“Papa, Papa…” he bubbles, and I pick him up. Marguerite smiles at us when Timothy’s little arms circle my neck.
“Awww, this is always so beautiful to watch you two,” she beams and brings her hands together, pride filling her face.
I chuckle at Timothy’s wide grin. He looks exactly like me when I was a kid. He’s going to be two in a few months. When he was born, he looked like Sorcha, then as the months went by, he became me.
I press my head to his. It’s like we haven’t seen each other in years. I don’t spend enough time with him when he’s awake, and I need to change that.
I look back to Marguerite. She has the look I expected her to have on her face. Cautious, but with an air of disapproval.
I wouldn’t expect anything other from the woman who’s like a second mother to me after seeing Ava. I know for a fact that if Ma were here, she wouldn’t allow me to do whatever it is I’m doing.
She’d go mad even though she knows Giordano men have some very unusual ways. We’re all sex crazed, even the ones who are happily in love with their dolls. It never started with a date and kiss.
From one to the next, it was something bizarre the rest of the world would frown upon. So, I’m allowed this agreement with Ava if I choose it.
“Vinny, what’s the girl really doing here?”
It’s clear from her tone that she doesn’t approve. Women know not to ask those kinds of questions, few like her are the exception.
“It’s business,” I answer, hoping she doesn’t continue to press.
“Business? Vinny, she’s frightened.”
“She should be,” I reply. Just now with Ava was just now. It was fun and sowed the seeds for more I’ll be taking later. I want those breasts in my mouth again, and the taste of her pussy.
Marguerite sighs. She knows I won’t be saying much more than that, so there’s no point trying to push or press. “Whatever it is, please be gentle with her. I sense she’s troubled. She was talking in her sleep.”
I answer with a raised brow. Ava was probably talking in her sleep because she’s worried for her father. I won’t tell Marguerite that I left him chained to a wall, with the worry of his life and his daughter’s hanging over him.
She sees me as the boy she took care of from birth. I’ll keep that image in her head since she’s the only person who isn’t family I trust with my boy. No one else must touch him or be with him.
Her brows knit together when I don’t comment. “How long is she going to be here?”
That’s another question I’m not answering. The truth is, I don’t know. I couldn’t give Ava an answer, and I can’t give it to Marguerite either. She bites the inside of her lip and inclines her head to the side.
“Ava will be here for a while. See to it she eats and is comfortable.” That’s enough.
She shakes her head at me and sighs. She’ll never voice her opinions though. She never has.
She was my nanny and never voiced her opinions in our home when she saw things happening she knew were wrong, like Pa screwing around with the maids and all the shit the other guys and I used to get up to. She won’t now either.
She’s here for support.
When Sorcha was alive, Marguerite came to help out from time to time. After Sorcha’s death, our parents stepped up. Ma was here, and Evelyn, my mother-in-law. I couldn’t bear to have Evelyn here because of the guilt, although no one has ever blamed me. And, Ma was just suffocating.
Marguerite is the only person I could tolerate around me. She’s here as my live-in nanny five to six days a week. Unlike everyone else, she exists outside of the box. She just understands me in a different way. Maybe it’s because, like me, she’s a widow. She lost her husband to the violence of our world twenty years ago and never remarried. She treats me like a son, although she has two sons who both live in Italy with their wives and children.
“It’s a good thing I’m used to you boys and your ways,” she says and blinks several times.
“Yes,” I agree with arrogance I know she hates.
“I’m sure you know best, Boss.” She rolls her eyes at me and I smirk the way I used to when I was a boy. “Do you want lunch?”
“No. I’m just going to hang out with my boy for a little bit.” At the mention of Timothy, I win back her approval. Her face softens, and she reaches up to tap my cheek.
“I love the way you are with him. So different to the way your father was with you boys. Not that I’m saying anything against your father. It’s just that sometimes a child needs love. Especially during these years.” She runs her hand over Timothy’s downy head as he rests it on my chest.
“I’m trying,” I reply.
As she looks back at me, I know she sees it. That thing in the depths of my eyes that’s still broken.
“You more than try, Vinny. You never have to worry that you don’t. Sorcha would be proud of you taking care of him the way you do. It’s the way she was with him.” She nods, and her eyes gloss over with tears.
She’s the only person who mentions Sorcha like that. Everyone else steers away from doing so. I understand why, but sometimes it’s okay to talk about it. They think they’re being helpful, but it’s not always the case. Marguerite talks about her like she’s just gone away.
“That means a lot to me.”
“It’s truth, and may God keep you safe for it, Vincent,” she whispers.
I don’t know why she bothers to bring God into it. I’m just another devil, one who can’t seem to find redemption. Her words will fall on deaf ears.
“Thank you,” I say just to be respectful. “I’m going out in a little while. I’ll be back for dinner though.”
“Okay.” She nods and makes a move to leave us.
Just then, Salvatore comes through the door.
He greets Marguerite with the customary kiss to her cheeks, and she leaves us.
After that meeting with Dad, I expected him to come by. I expected all of them to come by. Nick and Gabe are at The Dark Odyssey early on Tuesdays though, doing the accounts with Christian and Georgiou. I’ll bet they all left and went to talk because they’ll be worried about the club with the new leadership structure.
They have nothing to worry about. I’m not changing much of anything.
The man whose life will change the most is here.
He’s two years younger than me and I still see him as my kid brother, but he’s anything but that. With Pa’s departure, Salvatore will have to step up even more than he has as capo.
He’ll become me. What I am now. He’ll become undergoes to the familia, and he’ll have to decide when to involve the others and when not to.
He has a kid like me, and another on the way. My brothers each have two kids now. Becoming husbands and fathers made them grow up, and I can see the differences in each of them. I worry for Salvatore though because he’ll be faced with many of the challenges I encountered.
“Hey Vin,” he says with a nervous grin.
“Hey. Do you want to go sit outside for a little bit?” I offer.
He sighs and presses his lips together. “Yeah, air is always good.”
We go into the garden, and I set Timothy down to play in the sandpit. Instantly, he gets to work on digging around with his plastic shovel.
Salvatore and I head to the patio across from him, and I reach for the humidor with my best Cubans.
“So, let’s hear it, Boss.” Salvatore smiles. “There’s no way you can be this calm after the news Pa dished us.”
I look him over, wondering if I should tell him the truth, that I’m not ready. He’s the only brother who’s truly seen me weak. At my lowest. When I found Sorcha dead on the floor, he was the first person I called.
He’s the second oldest, and I relied on him a lot after Frankie died, but the guy is a good friend too. I think maybe a part of me wanted him to tell me I was imagining things.
This is different. It’s a question of who I’m supposed to be.
“I don’t know, Salvatore. I’m surprised, like everyone else. What about you?”
“I’m shit scared,” he confesses and gives me a long, hard stare. “I can’t fill your shoes, man.”
“Of course, you can,” I answer with a definitive nod.
“No. It’s not even a question.” He shakes his head. “I can’t. I think we’ve all taken it for granted for years. I mean the handle you have on things. You’ve been undergoes and head capo to the family for nearly ten years, Vin. It’s a long time. Much has happened to you.” Sadness enters his eyes as he says that, and I glance down at the cigar in my hands.
“Much has happened, and this is just change,” I tell him with as much confidence as I can to make it believable, and he nods agreement. It’s times like this when I miss Frankie because he’d know I’m lying through my teeth. He’d just know.
“It’s just change.”
“We’ll do what we have to,” I add, glancing up at the window on the second floor.
It’s Ava’s room. I wonder if she’s looking outside, watching us.
Did she put her clothes back on?
The displaced thought hardens my cock right up again. I’m gonna have to get her clothes, and there’ll be a whole bunch of things I need to sort out when it comes to her.
Salvatore sees me looking and glances up at the window too.
“What are you doing with the doll, Vin? What’s going on with Mark?”
“I’m seeing Mark in a little while.”
“And what?” he prods.
“I’ll keep an eye on the doll.”
Salvatore tilts his head to the side as he lights up his cigar. I light mine too and take a draw.
“Keep an eye? And what of the offer, Capo Bastone?”
I hesitate to confirm that I’ve accepted, but he looks at me and knows. To my credit, I gave her several chances to leave. Sure, the price would have possibly been very hefty had she done so, but this is her choice.
She offered herself to me, and I accepted. It’s not like the women who throw themselves at me daily. There’s something forbidden and tempting about it that entices me. She’d be the youngest woman I’ve ever been with. I’m nearly twice her age. She’s twenty-six, and I’m forty-four, eighteen years older than her. I know many who do worse. It’s common in our world.
Salvatore chuckles deep and edgy. “Fucking hell, Vin. You exchange all that shit Mark did for a piece of ass. A fuck toy.”
“Fuck, Salvatore, don’t fucking say that to me.” I straighten up. I’m not letting him take the moral high ground with me again. “I’ll have a fuck toy if I want to.”
“Vin, you know what I’m saying. I’ll be the last guy to tell you what to do in that respect. It’s just that Mark could have ruined us, and we don’t know what more we could discover. He fucked around with drugs, so who knows what more we could find.”
“I get it, and I agree. I just…” I’m thinking of the best answer. “The situation’s in check for the moment. It’s not resolved, and there’s a lot to do, but we’re doing it this way.”
“Taking pussy as payment for two million dollars and counting?” He narrows his eyes.
I chuckle. “Hey, since that two million was mine and came out of my pocket, I think I’m allowed to take whatever form of repayment I choose. Everything else is shit that we have to deal with as it comes, and currently, I got the cops and feds in a corner.” Those fuckers. I’m still pissed from the meeting this morning.
He laughs at that. “Alright, Vin… I hope the repayment will be to your liking. Does that mean my club won’t be seeing you there for a while? You’re going to break a few hearts with the news of your departure.”
The Dark Odyssey… I’ll take her there. I can just imagine how horrified she’ll be heading into a sex club. I’ll make sure she enjoys herself though.
“We’ll see. There’s something else we got to deal with,” I state. Pa told me about the Bratva guys. Now it’s for me to decide who to involve in my plans.
“What’s that?”
Quickly, I fill him in, and when I’m done, he leans back in the chair and stares at me with suspicion in his eyes.
“That’s real interesting, Vin. What’s your take on it?”
“Far be it from me to raise the alarm of suspicion when this could make us even richer bastards than we are. We’ll set up a meeting with them. You and Christian will come with me.” I know what I’m doing, but Salvatore looks confused at the mention of Christian.
“Why not Gabe or Nick?”
“It’s too much. Four brothers of power going into a meeting with powerful men is too much. Christian will provide a balance. He’s like Gabe though, good at reading people. And you…” I pause. There’s a lot about Salvatore. This new structure will leave a job opening for the most trusted advisor. My father chose my mother, and now I will choose my brother. “I’m going to need my consigliere with me.”
His eyes widen, and I’m not real sure why this would surprise him.
“Me? You’re going to choose me?”
I nod. “Yeah. I’m choosing you. You’ll see through bullshit.” He’ll be my eyes and ears. I need the two of them because I can’t think straight, so I’m doing the next best thing.
My eyes return to the window, and I can just about see Ava looking down through the frosted glass.
Beautiful and scared.
I take a draw on my cigar and blow it out slow and purposefully as I continue to stare back, allowing her to see that I see her.
We’re far away, but I can sense that fear and want.
It’s still interesting.