“You must be so happy. It’s such a massive accomplishment, Ava,” Holly bubbles.
She throws herself down on the sofa and grabs a handful of sweets from the bowl I’ve set on the table.
“It was fantastic.”
“That’s the word I’d describe for the issue. The way you wrote the article was just fantastic. I bet you get a Reader’s Choice Award for it or something.” She laughs.
I smile. Such a thing would be nice.
I got back last night and spent the day unpacking and resting. And …thinking.
I’m smiling like I have been for the last three months I’ve been in Florida, but I’m still thinking about him. Vincent.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to forget him. I don’t know how I’m supposed to fall so hard for a man like him and then just un-love him. I was with him in a very unconventional taboo relationship for a handful of weeks, and I know I’ll never feel the way I did about him with anyone else.
“Ava… you okay?” Holly asks, waving her hand in front of my face. “You’re miles away.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Mind still in Florida?” she smiles.
“Not so much. I loved being out there, but I’m happy to be back. I… want to organize a memorial for my father.”
Her face falls and fills with sadness. “Oh God,” Holly winces. “I’m sorry. It was bad of me to forget. I mean… I didn’t forget. I did remember. I was just excited about Florida.”
“I know, and I didn’t think badly of you,” I assure her.
“What’s going to happen?”
“I’ll organize a small memorial and invite a few people who knew him. Then I guess that will be it.”
There was so much to sort out after I left, so much I had to leave behind. Once the police did what they needed to in the little that remained of Dad’s apartment, I hired someone to salvage what they could from the remains. They didn’t find much, just random things here and there. They’re things I can remember him by though.
“Ava, I’m so sorry. I’m still in shock.”
She thinks it was an explosion. Nobody knows the truth. No one but Vincent and his family knows the horror of what I went through that day when I found Dad dead. Killed with a message for me.
I’ve had to file it all to the back of my mind.
“You’ll get through this, Ava.” Holly nods her head. “I’m here if you need me.”
“I know. You’ve been there for me more than anyone else. It’s more than I can ask for. I’m grateful for you.”
“We’re friends. Of course, I’m going to be there for you.”
I had to leave so quickly after the whole ordeal. Freddie wanted me to take care of myself and forget the trip. I didn’t think that would have been healthy for me to do. Instead, I postponed it for a week.
That was after I last saw Vincent. That week was spent tying up loose ends, speaking with the police, and preparing to leave. The police knew the explosion was caused by an actual bomb, but because the CCTV was down that day in the apartment complex, they don’t know who did it. That also meant they didn’t see me going inside the building that day or what happened after.
“Have you heard from Vincent?” she asks tentatively. We haven’t spoken about him much. Every time she tries to ask I side step her questions.
I shake my head. “No. It didn’t work out.” It didn’t, and it’s wise for me to forget about him. It’s going to take me a long time to do that. It may take forever, but it’s what I have to do.
“Didn’t he ever message at all?”
“No, it’s just one of those things, I guess, that you think may work but they don’t. I’ll be okay.” I want to change the subject. I need to. No one will ever know what happened to me during that phase of my life, and it’s best that I move on.
Holly takes the hint that I don’t want to talk about him anymore.
“Tell me about Florida,” she says with a smile.
That I can do. We spoke on the phone every chance we got, but I was really busy. Coral had me doing all kinds of things. It was great to get to know her, and she even got me involved in the charity work she was doing too.
I start talking about my adventure in Florida. It’s a distraction.
When I get like that, it feels like my mind splits in two. Part of me can be on autopilot while the other can work through the issues on my mind, and my heart.
***
I thought a trip to the coffee shop was in order before work.
I got here about twenty minutes ago and ordered a latte. I sat in the little booth I always sit in when I’m here alone.
Usually I’m here with Holly, but sometimes, I just like to come by myself.
It’s a great place to think when you need to take stock of your life.
I have much to think about. I still have two million dollars sitting in my bank account that I haven’t touched. I haven’t needed to because my job in Florida was an all-expenses-paid trip paid for by the company, and my salary covered my bills here.
Now I’m back. I feel like if I touch it, I’ve accepted that it’s goodbye.
I’m still holding on, foolishly, and I need to let go.
I take a sip of my drink and remember that night at The Dark Odyssey when Vincent and I created that fantasy about what we would be if we’d met under different circumstances.
The couple in the coffee shop.
Just the thought of the fantasy brings tears to my eyes, and one tracks down my cheek.
I’m so stupid.
I shouldn’t do this to myself. I reach forward to grab a napkin to dry my tears. I hate crying in public.
I dab my cheeks and glance over to the counter where the Barista is serving a customer. That’s when I see him.
Just like always when I look at him, my breath is stolen away.
Vincent Giordano is standing by the counter, his eyes fixed on me, piercing and vibrant. He’s just as handsome as I remember.
My lips part, and I can’t move. I can barely breathe. I can only stare like I did in that fantasy we conjured up.
When he takes a step forward, my heart stops.
The air thickens around me with anticipation, and I watch him stride to me with confidence and grace. It’s not until he gets to me that I rise to my feet.
He stops a breath away and looks me over.
“Hi… I’m… Vincent Giordano. I noticed you sitting here, so I thought I’d come over and say hello,” he says in that deep baritone timbre that fills my fantasies and dreams.
Hot tears of joy blind my eyes, choking my voice, then slide down my cheeks.
I swallow hard, thinking of the fantasy. It’s here. He’s here. It’s happening.
As elevation lifts my soul, I throw my arms around him. I can’t speak, so I show him how I feel and hug him like I never want to let him go. He holds me too, cupping my head, and I feel like I’m whole.
I can’t believe a simple touch from him can make me feel so whole.
“Hello,” I answer, and he holds me closer, close to his heart.
It’s a place where I finally feel like I belong.