Chapter 14: Vincent

I hate you…

She said it again. Not the first I’ve heard those words from her, but it was the first time she meant it.

That first time was an attempt to hate me. I probably should have allowed her to because hearing those words again this morning wouldn’t have stung the way they did. I deserved it.

It’s the first time in my life I’ve ever felt so ashamed of myself.

She didn’t deserve to be treated that way.

I’ve never thought of her as a whore.

She called me a monster, and she was right.

I truly, truly behaved like a monster. I’m a monster, and that’s why she shouldn’t have offered herself to me.

I don’t know how to take care of things, not even what’s mine.

My behavior wasn’t about money. Sure, I was pissed that she was snooping around the house, but what I was more pissed about is her intrusion on a private moment I was having with my wife. I was pissed at Ava because of how she makes me feel, while the person who used to make me feel close to that is no longer here.

I didn’t actually sleep last night. I stayed up in that room that’s become a shrine to my late wife.

I’m like a ghost that needs to move on and can’t because I’m fucking stuck in limbo.

Now I’m losing myself too. There’s a line between being a badass and being a monster. Asshole and prick. I was all earlier.

That first night I was with her was the start of my emotions going eschew. Screwed and fucked. It made me sloppy. Then this morning, it was like emotion overload. I think the fun is over. It’s time for me to calm the fuck down and think of a reasonable date for Ava’s departure.

Business first, however…or rather, guidance.

I’m on my way to see Claudius. I haven’t seen him in a while, and today’s visit is more of a guidance session. I’ve never needed anything of the sort before, and I don’t need it because of the hot mess I am with Ava.

I need it to help me figure out what I’m doing with the Bratva guys. That’s what.

Pa messaged me yesterday wanting to know what I was doing. Knowing him, he probably expected me to contact Dmitri straightaway and talk contracts.

Although I didn’t speak to Pa, the tone of his next messages did not sound like he was in agreement with my answer—to wait and take the time to figure things out.

So… my answer to that and my flux is to go to a boss who’s the same level as him—higher, if I’m honest. I won’t pussyfoot and talk big because I’m a Giordano. It doesn’t mean squat when you’re put next to the Morientzs, who practically inherited Chicago from the Rossis.

Before Raphael Rossi died, he was the capo dei capi of Chicago. Boss of all bosses. My old friend Claudius was the perfect man to slip into his shoes.

When I walk into Claudius’ building where he holds his business meetings, the receptionist takes one look at me and calls up to him straightaway.

She knows my face, as do the security guards who instantly straighten up and stop their casual conversation as I walk by them to take the elevator.

There’s an obvious hush of silence as the women by the coffee machine see me step out of the elevator when the door dings open. I get to Claudius’ door down the corridor and knock.

This here is where that respect and fear I was just shown recedes. Whoever’s in that office with him will be guys on par with me, even if they are capos. He has a different setup to us in who he’s chosen to fill his hierarchy. They’re his closest friends. The Giordanos, on the other hand, are more family orientated.

I push the door open when he gives me the go-ahead, and I see exactly who I expected to see inside.

Claudius is sitting around his desk with the bright morning sunlight beaming on the tattoo of a cross on his cheek. His father, who is his consigliere, is to his right.

In front of him are his three capo sitting in order of rank. Dante, Gio, and Alex, who have tattoos of crosses on their necks.

I know them all. We grew up together. We were boys together and went through life together. In this business setting, though, it’s professional, so when each looks to me, it’s with acknowledgment of my presence.

“Vincent Giordano. Hello, old friend,” Claudius beams.

“Boss,” I say with a curt nod of my head. These men have been in the height of battle with me more times than I’d like to count.

They are what you call friends. Our alliance with them is strong.

Claudius looks to everyone and nods. “Leave us. Report back on the situation later,” he directs them, and they rise, his father included, and walk past me.

With them gone, I make my way inside and take a seat in front of the guy whom I trust like one of my brothers. He is my oldest friend. He’s the youngest boss in Chicago, and when I become boss, I will join him. We’re the same age.

“It’s weird hearing you call me boss, Boss,” he says to me, and his lips tip up into a small smile.

I chuckle. “Boss, there’s no way I’ll be calling you anything other, especially in front of your men. Pretty sure your father would hand me my ass if I showed you any form of disrespect.”

Claudius laughs. “The way he did when you smashed up his car several moons ago?”

I grin. No one will allow me to forget that story. “Yes, a little like that.”

It started with a stupid fight in our senior year of high school over a girl. I can’t even remember her name. I lost my mind when Claudius set my motorcycle on fire, so I smashed up his car. But it wasn’t his car. It was his father’s, and that day, Marcus Morientz taught me a lesson I’ll never forget.

“What’s going on, Vincent? You don’t usually request to see me in the middle of the day, definitely not so early in the morning. Not that I mind.”

I pull in a deep breath. He’s right. This is unusual. It’s unusual for me too to feel this way without reason. I’m just unsettled, and truth be told, it’s the wrong time to have a woman in my life screwing with my mind.

“There’s something going on that I need some help with.”

“I gathered,” he answers, looking me over. He has one blue eye and one brown. The blue eye is the one I refer to whenever I want to try and figure out what he’s thinking. Right now, I see he’s curious. “What’s the something?”

“It’s the kind of something I shouldn’t be talking to you about until all arrangements are made and deals closed.” He knows from that it’s family business related. I would never insult him by asking him to keep something secret. He knows though too, that’s what my comment implies.

“You have my word, old friend. This conversation never happened.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.” I draw in a breath and clear my head so I can say all that I need to in the right words. As I clear my mind, I clear my shame over Ava. I try to forget her tear stained face and push aside the echo of her calling me a monster. “The Ivanezh Bratva want to form an alliance with us.”

The second I say that, his face tenses up. A seriousness I never expected washes over it, and he stares at me long and hard.

“The Bratva?” he confirms, and I nod. “And your father would allow this?”

The question is phrased in such a way that it actually gives me the answer of what he might think of the whole idea.

“He wants it, Claudius. You know us mobsters, greedy.” I won’t excuse myself in any way. Greed runs through my blood. It doesn’t with this guy though. He knows when enough is enough.

“Vincent… I don’t like getting involved in things like this. It’s like me pissing on your ability to run business the way you want. Please don’t expect me to tell you what I would do.”

I laugh again. “That’s exactly why I’m here. Our checks came back clear. All legit by our standards. So, who am I really to question it? My father has been boss for close to thirty years, and he’s had a handle on things. He knows what he’s doing.”

“And you don’t?”

I bite the inside of my lip. This is a guy I can be real with. I don’t have to pretend with him because we owe each other nothing. We’re on neutral ground.

“I’m not sure I do,” I confess. “I always go with my gut instinct, and right now, it’s telling me no. It’s telling me to say no, but maybe it’s telling me that because I’m afraid.” There, that’s the crux of the problem. Fear. It’s the thing I could never tell Pa, or anybody else for the matter. I’m ashamed to even say the word to a man like Claudius, but he’s that kind of friend to me. The kind who will keep my secrets.

I’m afraid and that eerie vibe of distrust I keep getting when I contemplate the alliance isn’t helping.

“What are you afraid of, Vincent?” He tilts his head to the side.

“The past saw these people wiping out a whole family, close to a hundred people. Men, women, and children. I already got caught up in a blood war and lost my wife. Could have lost my child too. I don’t want that to happen again for the sake of money.” It’s probably the most heartfelt words I’ve said in a while.

He nods understanding, and his face softens. “I get it.”

“So, I think what I’m trying to say is, I’m conflicted, and that gut instinct of mine might be biased because of my own past.”

My past wasn’t even that long ago to be referred to as the past. But… the shit started with Frankie’s death nearly ten years ago.

The same man who killed my girl killed Frankie. Stephanou Portaleu. That was his name. The killer of two people who meant so much to me.

Stephanou killed Frankie because he accidentally killed Stephanou’s wife. That was how it all began. Then the shit two years ago was him and the Fontaines trying to eradicate us. They wanted the whole Giordano line of power gone. That’s how Sorcha was killed. Except… Stephanou not only killed her to send me a personal message, he raped her too.

The thought makes me sick and I still feel like I didn’t make him suffer enough before I hacked off his head.

I think that I’m wary because these Bratva guys have the same vibe as him. The same malevolent vibe as Stephanou.

“What’s the status of the situation?” Claudius asks.

“They know they have to wait four weeks to hear back from me.”

“Let them wait,” he says, and I feel some semblance of relief.

“You think so?”

“Yes. First, no harm in waiting. Next, if you distrust them for any reason at all, you need to work through those issues, no matter what the checks say. Want me to get Gibbs to look into it a little more for you?”

I nod. “Thank you. I think I‘d feel more confident if he did.”

Gibbs is already working on Mark. I have every confidence that he’ll leave no stone unturned in regard to any work he does on him. It would be the same here. Not that I don’t trust my people. It’s just that this is a little outside the box.

“I’ll get him on it straightaway.”

“Thanks. Claudius… would you form an alliance with them?” I have to know.

His jaw clenches and eyes narrow. “No. No fucking way. They would not be bold enough to even mention such a thing to me.”

I’ll consider that too in my thoughts.

“Do you have any idea what it was that happened in the past?” We’ve never had to talk about things like this before.

Claudius is a man of many secrets. He has them and knows them.

“I don’t, Vincent, and there’s not a damn thing I can’t find out.” He eyes me cautiously. Both eyes have the same warning in them that I take heed to. “Have I tried to find out? Yes, and there was nothing to find… a little like how clean your checks are. That’s how they work. They’re bigger than us, more powerful on a worldwide level. When they want to erase a path, they can. They can make something look like it never happened, make people disappear without a damn trace. Those are not the kind of people you want to do business with if you want to control any ounce of power.”