Cara's pov
It was different, the kiss. It was less carnal, less primitive desire and more concrete and profound and charged with inexplicable feelings between us.
Luca kissed me with an ardor, his mouth and tongue gentle yet firm, intense yet soft. I didn't know what to make of it but I knew I loved it.
A lone tear tumbled down my cheek. I was immensely relieved that he was fine, that those terrifying gunshots that rang over and over did not take him down.
I was relieved but I was also a whole lot of other things. And these feelings overwhelmed me. Joy radiated through my heart at seeing him unhurt and very alive but I was haunted by the rising panic of my mind breaking ordeal of fearing for his life.
It was a hard punch to the gut realizing how much I cared. Luca had unconsciously become a significant part of my life, so much I would be devastated if anything happened to him.
The realization was crippling, sending genuine fear coursing through me.
He was a mafia don, his life would always be in a constant state of danger and I couldn't live my life in such a never-ending state of agitation.
I tried to break off the kiss but his hold was relentless.
"Luca."
He sucked hard on my tongue before releasing my mouth. With his forehead pressed against mine and his thumb brushing the side of my face he said. "Don't, bambina. Don't say it."
"But you haven't heard what I want to say." I whispered, nuzzling into his calloused touch.
His voice was gravelly, his gaze unwavering as he stared into my eyes. "Whatever it is, I can tell it's no good and I don't want to hear it."
I chewed on my bottom lip. This is the most conflicted I've ever been in my life. I wanted to break things off with him to save myself from inevitable ruin but I was weak against his intense grey eyes, his fiery touch, his arousing voice. His beautiful face.
I knew that whatever twisted thing we got going had no happy ending nor was it in any way long term. I knew this yet I still leaned into his chest, surrendering. He has just been in the face of death, it would be heartless to end things just right after.
Exhaustion seeped into my bones and I suddenly developed the need to go home, away from the mess of the Costra Nostra.
"I want to go home." I voiced out, my head still on his firm chest.
Luca hugged me tighter, his hands stroking into my hair. "Let's get you home."
The mansion had been wiped pretty clean by the time I and Luca made our way out, the bodies had been removed and the blood cleaned off, even the shattered glass and empty bullet casings had been swept away. Except for the furniture damage, there was no other indication that a shootout had occurred in the place.
The ride back to my apartment was silent. The both of us prisoners to our own thoughts. I wondered what Luca's thoughts were about, probably more important and serious things like his next course of action against the Russians. Thoughts that made mine pale in comparison.
He insisted on staying the night when we arrived at my apartment and I was too tired to argue with him. He waited patiently for me to take a shower even though I took quite a lot of time scrubbing the effects of the day away from my skin. I was going to be plagued by the dead bodies I saw for a long time.
Luca pulled me in for a big spoon the second I was done with preparing for bed.
"You're not safe here bambina." He said into the silence, when I had already concluded he was asleep.
"Hey! I like my apartment." I responded with a joking tone as I poked his hard chest. I felt the need to dissolve a bit of the intensity he had carried from his father's mansion.
However, I knew he was right and the thought of some Russian mobsters finding me here sent a tremor reverberating through me.
Luca nuzzled into my hair. "That doesn't mean it's safe." When I didn't answer he continued. "We need to get you out of here."
I released a tired sigh. "Tomorrow, let's deal with this tomorrow." I said, knowing fully well that I was never going to agree on him finding me a new place. We might be sleeping together but I wasn't going to let him handle my problems like some sugar daddy.
My lips twitched sardonically when I realized I had said tomorrow. I really kept thrusting problems and dilemmas on it.
"I'd hold you to that." Luca said and it was the last thing he said before we both drifted off to sleep.
***
I found a strange body in my bed.
"Hello?" I called out.
I got no response.
Frowning, I moved closer and poked. One, twice, three times. The person didn't stir and it annoyed me how sound he or she slept in a bed that wasn't hers or his.
With growing irritation, I tugged on the person's shoulder. "Hello? You're in the wrong bed goddammit!"
I tugged with more force and they flipped over to face me, their eyes wide open and unblinking. The light in them absent.
Lifeless.
A scream tore out of me, again and again and I struggled to scuttle out of the bed.
"Cara?" I heard my name but I was focused on getting away from the body.
"Cara!" The voice calling my name grew forceful and it got through me. I looked up and met the concerned gaze of Luca.
"It's just a dream." He whispered, cradling my face. "It's only a dream."
I collapsed into him, holding on tight as I drew assurance from his warm body. I let him drain out my fear, I let him soothe my troubled mind.
It's only a dream.
Luca rubbed at my back with one hand while the other found my sweat matted hair and began stroking it softly.
"It's okay." He said. He began murmuring more calming words and soon I was drifting back to sleep.
The next time I woke up, I woke up alone. Dazed and sleepy, I sat up the bed confused as to where he had gone. Then I began to catch on the hoarse whisper coming from my living room.
Luca was sitting on my couch, the streak of moonlight stealing through the small windows the only light in the space.
I admired how ethereal he looked in the night light through my sleep laden eyes. He was a fallen angel all in his dark, beautiful glory. He blended perfectly well with the dark yet still stood out.
He was on the phone, probably in a heated argument from the way his words sounded sharp and cutting. I tried to pick up on the conversation but it was in rapid fire Italian, way too fast for my poor understanding of the language.
I gave up and was sneaking back into bed when his next line stopped me in tracks.
"Sta cercando la mia sorellastra e Gina."
That one I understood. The blood in my veins went cold and something slithered in the pit of my stomach.
Who was after me and Gina? What have we done to have anyone after us? I racked my brain for anyone that may have a score to settle with me but drew up short.
I tried to calm the palpitations crashing in my nervous system as I cocked my ear to listen and I could barely hear him over the loud thundering of my heart.
I could barely pick up on anything after that. The only thing I managed to hear was bratva bastards and the asshole Alexei.
But I felt that was enough. I slipped back into the bed, unable to fall asleep, my mind spinning and reeling with thoughts.
I pretended to be asleep when Luca returned almost thirty minutes later, trying not to jolt when his body pressed against me and his hand wrapped around me.
I laid awake all through the night, dread clawing at me that I had somehow been unknowingly webbed into the mess that was the mafia world.
Somehow and at some point, I had become a target of Luca's enemies.