Chapter 15

~Natalie~

I don't know why or what is happening, but it felt like my body knew it was in the wrong place. I felt having a heavy banging in my head as my eyelids parted and the bright light from the chandelier in the space shined into my eyes. I quickly turned my face away from the light.

Lazily, I sat up in the large bed, with my heart pounding heavily as the events of the previous night came flooding back. The drug, the party, the champagne, everything happened so fast... I shuddered lightly, my stomach churning with a mixture of disgust and shame towards myself and what I had done. I had lost my virginity to him, to Lucien. My enemy. The man I sought to destroy.

I felt the bed shift beside me, his weight making the mattress creak. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to face him, not wanting to see the smug satisfaction on his face. I knew he would gloat, and would revel in his victory.

But when I finally opened my eyes, he was gone. The room was empty, the door closed. I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. At least he had the decency to leave me alone.

Minutes later, the door creaked open again and he walked in. My anger burst out of my chest and I threw the nearby pillow at him. He didn't move. Didn't even flinch.

“How dare you?!” I asked, ignoring the fact I had literally begged this man to touch me.

He remained silent, letting me vent my pent up anger at him. I wanted to throw something else, but my hands froze mid air.

I slid out of the bed, my body aching in places I hadn't known could ache. I felt dirty, used, disgusted and ashamed. I couldn't bear the thought of wearing my tattered clothes from the night before. I spotted a pair of pajamas draped over a nearby chair and snatched them up.

"I can explain," he said, his voice low and hesitant.

I saw red. My hand flew out before I could stop it, my fist connecting with his chest. He didn't even flinch. I punched him again and again, my rage fueling each blow. He stood there and took it, his arms at his sides, his eyes closed.

When my anger finally spent itself, I stepped back, my chest heaving. He opened his eyes, looking at me with a mix of darkness and something else I couldn't quite identify.

"Get out of my way," I snarled, brushing past him.

He tried to grab my arm, but I shook him off, my movements quick and fast. Angrily,I burst out of the room, the shocked stares of the hotel employees following me as I ran through the hallway. I heard his footsteps behind me, felt his presence closing in.

I headed for the elevator, hitting the button over and over until the doors slid open. I took a heavy leap inside, my heart racing, just as Lucien reached the elevator. The doors closed, trapping me inside, trapping him out.

I threw myself against the wall, my breath coming in harsh and sharp gasps. I couldn't go back to the party, I couldn't face anyone right now. I needed to go home, to lick my wounds in private.

I hailed a cab as soon as I emerged from the hotel, giving the driver my address in a shaky voice. I watched the city blur by outside the window, feeling numb, feeling empty.

As soon as I entered the mansion, I ran all the way to my room and locked the door behind me and slid to the floor, my tears flowing freely. I cried for what felt like hours, for the loss of my innocence, for the betrayal of my own body.

When the tears finally ran dry, I wiped my face with the back of my hand and stumbled to my feet. Anger replaced the sadness in my heart, hot and pulsing. I checked my phone, hoping for a distraction, for something to take my mind off of Lucien.

And then I saw it. The news articles, the bold headlines. An anonymous account had posted my embarrassment about the mask at the party.

The comments were even crueler than the headlines.

I felt sick. I ran to the bathroom, falling to my knees in front of the toilet. I threw up all that was in me until there was nothing left to give, until my throat burned and my stomach cramped.

I crawled to the shower, turning the water on as hot as it would go. I scrubbed at my skin with a sponge, as if I could wash away the shame, the humiliation, his fingerprints on my skin and as matter of fact wish I could take back the hands of time to erase what had just happened. But no matter how hard I scrubbed, I couldn't get rid of the feeling that I was tainted, dirty, ruined.

I sat on the bathroom floor, wrapped in a towel, staring blankly at the wall, looking through the windows. I had lost everything I had ever imagined. My virginity, my dignity, my chance at a normal life. And all because of him. Because of Lucien.

With teary eyes,I curled into a ball, allowing the tears flow again. But this time around, they were tears of hopelessness, being alone and of despair. What was the point of anything now? What exactly is actually left for me after all of this?

“I hate you Lucien.”

"I will make you pay for this"

“I will destroy you.”

“I will break you.”