Chapter 13 Breaking Protocol
(Lucien's POV)
This is a monumentally stupid idea.
I'm pressed against the exterior wall of Thornewood's building, fifteen floors above the street, clinging to decorative stonework that was never meant to support a grown man's weight. The wind whips around me, carrying the scent of exhaust and rain and the Thames far below.
Monumentally. Stupid.
But I'm doing it anyway.
"Security pattern shifts in ninety seconds," Nikolai's voice crackles through the tiny earpiece. "You're clear for the next window."
I edge sideways, fingers finding purchase in the grooves between stones. My ankle protests… still healing from the last time I did something this reckless… but werewolf regeneration means it's functional even if not fully repaired.
The meeting with Dimitri was... enlightening. And concerning. The Dragomir wolf confirmed what Nikolai suspected: Casimir knows exactly what Thalia is and has been planning this marriage for months. But Dimitri also mentioned something else… increased security around Thalia, guards monitoring her constantly, changes to her routine that suggest Morrigan is worried about something.
Which means I need to see her. Need to know if she's alright, if the suppressants are affecting her, if she's in immediate danger.
Need to, not should. There's a difference.
"Twenty meters to your right," Nikolai continues. "Third window from the corner. That's her bedroom according to the building schematics."
I move carefully, testing each handhold before committing my weight. The building's facade is old enough to have character… gargoyles and ornamental flourishes that provide convenient grips for an idiot werewolf with a death wish.
"You know this is insane, right?" Nikolai's tone is conversational. "If they catch you, they won't bother with trials or pack law. They'll just kill you."
"Thanks for the pep talk."
"Just making sure you've thought this through."
I have. I've thought about nothing else since leaving the safe house. Thought about Thalia trapped in that penthouse, surrounded by people who want to use her or control her or keep her ignorant of her own power. Thought about the mate bond pulling constantly, a physical ache that's grown worse over the past two days.
Thought about six days remaining until Ravenna invokes the blood curse.
"Almost there," I mutter, reaching for the next handhold. "How's the patrol pattern?"
"Still clear. But you've got maybe five minutes before the next rotation."
Five minutes to reach her window, get her attention, and convince her to let me in without screaming. Simple.
The mate bond guides me more than the building schematic does. I can feel her now, close enough that the ache sharpens into something almost sweet. This is the right window. I know it with the same certainty I know my own name.
I tap on the glass. Softly at first, then slightly louder when there's no response.
Movement inside… a shadow crossing the darkened room. Then the curtains pull back and Thalia's face appears, pale and startled in the moonlight.
Her eyes widen when she sees me. For a second I think she might scream or hit the panic button or do something sensible. Instead, she frantically unlocks the window and pulls it open.
"Are you insane?" she hisses, grabbing my jacket and practically hauling me inside. "You're going to get yourself killed!"
I tumble through the window with decidedly less grace than I intended, catching myself against her desk. "Nice to see you too, moya dusha."
She slams the window shut and yanks the curtains closed, then whirls on me with fury and relief warring across her face. "Do you have any idea… the security is everywhere, they're watching constantly, if anyone sees you… "
"They won't." I straighten, brushing dust from my jacket. "I was careful."
"You climbed the outside of a fifteen-story building!"
"Sixteen, technically. And I've done worse." I study her in the dim light filtering through the curtains. "Are you alright? You look… "
"Terrible. I know." She wraps her arms around herself. "I've been looking terrible for two days now."
Two days. Same amount of time since she flushed the suppressants.
I move closer, breathing deep to analyze the changes in her scent. The chemical markers of the suppressants are nearly gone, replaced by something wilder, more potent. Her natural wolf scent is emerging… and it's intoxicating. Pine and rain and something uniquely hers that makes my wolf surge forward with possessive satisfaction.
"The suppressants are clearing your system." I reach out, then stop myself. "Faster than I expected, actually. How are you feeling?"
"Like I'm falling apart." She laughs, but there's an edge of hysteria to it. "My senses are going haywire. I can hear everything, smell everything. I accidentally crushed a teacup this morning. Just gripped it and it exploded in my hands."
"That's normal. Your strength is increasing as the suppressants wear off."
"Normal? Lucien, I nearly ripped my bedroom door off its hinges!" She paces, agitated, and I can smell the anxiety rolling off her in waves. "And the daydreams… I keep having these vivid visions of running through forests on four legs, hunting. Sometimes you're there too, and we're… " She cuts herself off, face flushing.
"We're hunting together." I finish the sentence. "I've had similar dreams. That's the mate bond strengthening. It's showing you possibilities, what we could be together."
"It's terrifying."
"It's natural." I risk moving closer, drawn by the bond and the need to comfort her. "Everything you're experiencing is part of becoming who you really are. The wolf that's been suppressed for nineteen years is finally waking up."
"Or I'm going feral like my mother warned." She stops pacing, meeting my gaze. "How do I know which one is true?"
"Because you're standing here having a coherent conversation with me instead of trying to tear my throat out." I gesture at the space between us. "If you were going feral, you wouldn't have this much control. You wouldn't be able to think or reason. You'd be operating on pure instinct."
"I crushed a teacup."
"Because you don't know your own strength yet. That's a training issue, not a sanity issue." I take another step closer, until I'm near enough to feel her body heat. "Your wolf is emerging, Thalia. Strong and powerful and everything your mother feared. But you're not losing yourself. You're finding yourself."
She searches my face, desperate for reassurance. "You're sure?"
"I'm sure." I reach out slowly, giving her time to pull away. When she doesn't, I cup her face gently. "I can smell you properly now. Without the suppressants masking everything. Your natural scent is… " I pause, searching for the right word. "Incredible."
"What do I smell like?" The question is soft, vulnerable.
"Pine forests after rain. Fresh earth. Something sweet underneath, like wildflowers." I stroke my thumb across her cheekbone. "And power. So much power it's intoxicating."
She closes her eyes, leaning into my touch. "The mate bond has been pulling constantly. It hurts when you're not here."
"I know. I feel it too." The admission comes easier than it should. "Like something vital is missing. Like I can't breathe properly until I'm near you."
"Is it always like this?"
"For true mates? Yes." I move my other hand to her waist, drawing her closer. "It gets stronger over time. Especially once the bond is… " I stop, not wanting to push too far too fast.
"Once it's complete," she finishes. "That's what happens when mates… when they… " Her face flushes deeper.
"When they physically consummate the bond, yes." I keep my voice gentle. "But we don't have to think about that right now. There's no rush."
"Isn't there?" She looks up at me. "You have six days until your mother invokes the blood curse. Casimir knows about you, about us. The wedding is in six weeks. Everything is rushing forward whether we want it to or not."
She's right, but I don't want to burden her with that knowledge when she's already struggling with so much.
"How did you know about the six days?" I ask carefully.
"I didn't. I guessed based on your expression." She pulls back slightly, studying my face. "It's true, isn't it? You're running out of time."
"We're both running out of time." I release her reluctantly, moving to the window to peer through a gap in the curtains. "The meeting with Dimitri confirmed what Nikolai suspected. Casimir knows you're a Convergence. He's been planning this marriage specifically because of your power."
"Sorin told me." Her voice is flat. "Last night at the announcement. He said needs an heir. That everything else is secondary to that goal."
I turn back to her sharply.
"And about being a seer. And about prophetic visions of a golden-eyed child standing between three wolves." She hugs herself again. "He also gave me his card and said I should call him if I need someone who understands prophetic burdens."
"That's..." I process this information, trying to fit it into the larger puzzle. "Interesting. Why would Sorin warn you?"
"I don't know. Maybe he's not as loyal to Casimir as everyone thinks. Or maybe it's manipulation… give me just enough truth to make me trust him while hiding his real agenda." She laughs bitterly. "Everyone in this world has an agenda. I'm just too naive to figure out what they are."
"You're not naive. You're learning." I cross back to her. "And you're stronger than you think. You've survived nineteen years of systematic poisoning and psychological manipulation. Most wolves would have broken under that."
"I'm breaking now."
"No. You're transforming. There's a difference." I take her hands, feeling the tremor in them. "The first shift is going to be intense. Probably painful. Your body has to restructure itself completely… bones, muscles, organs, everything. It'll take several hours and you'll be vulnerable during that time."
Her eyes widen. "Several hours?"
"First shifts always take longer. After that, the transformation gets faster, easier." I squeeze her hands gently. "You need to be somewhere safe when it happens. Somewhere private where you won't be interrupted."
"I'm locked in a penthouse fortress surrounded by guards who would kill you on sight. Where exactly am I supposed to be safe?"
"I don't know yet. But we'll figure something out." I glance at the door, hyperaware of time passing. "Nikolai's monitoring the security rotations. We probably have another two minutes before I need to leave."
"Two minutes." She laughs, and it sounds close to tears. "You risked your life climbing up here for two minutes of conversation."
"I risked it for you. To make sure you're alright. To tell you that what you're experiencing is normal." I pull her closer, until our foreheads touch. "And because I needed to see you. The mate bond was driving me insane."
"Me too." She closes her eyes. "I keep trying to reach you through it. Sending messages even though I don't know if you can hear them."
"I hear them." The admission surprises even me. "Not words exactly. More like... feelings. Emotions that aren't mine. When you're scared or lonely or fighting back… I feel it."
"Can you send messages back?"
"I've been trying." I tilt her chin up with one finger. "Has it been working?"
"Sometimes I feel warmth. Like someone's sending comfort even though I'm alone." She opens her eyes. "That's you?"
"That's me." I stroke her face again, memorizing the feel of her skin under my fingers. "You're not alone, Thalia. Even when I can't be physically present, I'm with you through the bond."
"Lucien..." She breathes my name like a prayer.
"Yes?"
"Kiss me. Please. Before you have to leave."
I should say no. Should maintain some boundaries, keep things from getting more complicated than they already are. Should remember that kissing my target… my mate… in her bedroom fifteen floors above armed guards is the definition of unprofessional.
I kiss her anyway.
It starts gentle… a soft press of lips, testing, questioning. She makes a small sound in the back of her throat and suddenly gentle isn't enough. I pull her closer, deepening the kiss, and she responds with equal hunger. Her hands fist in my jacket, holding me like she's afraid I'll disappear.
The mate bond flares between us, electric and overwhelming. I can feel her emotions bleeding into mine… desperation and desire and relief all tangled together. My wolf surges forward, demanding I claim her properly, complete the bond, make her irrevocably mine.
I pull back before I lose control completely. We're both breathing hard, faces flushed.
"That was… " She can't seem to finish the sentence.
"Electric," I finish. "Terrifying. Perfect."
"All of those." She touches her lips, wonder in her eyes. "Is it always like that?"
"For true mates? Yes. And it gets more intense." I force myself to step back, putting necessary distance between us before I do something stupid like forget we're in enemy territory. "I need to go. Nikolai's probably having a heart attack monitoring the security feeds."
"When can I see you again?"
"I don't know. Your security is tighter than it was. Your mother's watching you more closely." I move toward the window, every instinct screaming at me to stay. "But I'll find a way. I always do."
"Be careful. Please." She follows me to the window. "If they catch you… "
"They won't." I give her one last look, drinking in the sight of her rumpled and flushed and beautiful. "Stop taking any supplements Morrigan gives you. Even if she claims they're adjusted dosages or new formulas. Whatever happens, don't let her put those suppressants back in your system."
"I won't."
"And when the first shift happens… and it will happen soon based on how fast your symptoms are progressing… try not to fight it. The more you resist, the more painful it'll be."
"That's not exactly comforting advice."
"I know. But it's true." I open the window, cold air rushing in. "I'll contact you as soon as I can. Maybe tomorrow night if the security patterns allow it."
"Tomorrow night," she repeats. "I'll be waiting."
I climb out onto the narrow ledge, gripping the stonework. The wind is stronger now, carrying the scent of approaching rain.
"Lucien?" Her voice stops me.
"Thank you. For this. For not giving up on me."
"Never." The word comes out fierce, certain. "You're my mate, Thalia. I'll never give up on you. Even if the whole world stands against us."
Then I'm descending, moving quickly before I can change my mind and climb back through that window. The mate bond stretches between us, and even as the distance grows, I can feel her standing at the window watching until I'm out of sight.
"About bloody time," Nikolai's voice crackles through the earpiece. "I was about to send a search party. You've got thirty seconds before the next patrol sweep."
"I'm clear." I drop the last few meters to a lower balcony, then vault to the fire escape. "Status?"
"Clean getaway if you move now. Security hasn't noticed anything unusual."
I descend the fire escape rapidly, dropping to the alley below with a controlled fall. The impact jars my healing ankle but I'm already running, disappearing into London's late-night crowds before anyone can respond.
Three blocks away, I finally allow myself to breathe. The mate bond hums contentedly, satisfied by the brief contact even as it already aches for more.
My phone buzzes. Text from Nikolai: "Safe house. Now. We need to talk about what Dimitri said regarding Casimir's timeline."
I type back: "On my way."
But I allow myself one last moment, hand pressed to my chest where the bond thrums warmest, and send everything I'm feeling through it. Warmth. Protection. Certainty.
I don't know if she receives it. But across London, I feel an answering pulse of emotion… gratitude and longing and something that might be the beginning of love.
"Hang on," I whisper to the night. "Just hang on a little longer."