It's been three hours since Xavier walked out of the house and he was yet to return.
I didn't regret slapping him but I felt I over reacted to an extent. I stood outside waiting for him to get back. I kept calling my parents but they weren't taking their calls.
'Damn it," I huffed one last time after the call went to voicemail.
I was getting scared and had no idea what to do about it. My phone buzzed and I shoved it out of my pocket.
Mom: we're staying back, we'll be back tomorrow morning. Stay safe, I love you.
I read the texts and sadness flushed over me. It felt strange that they've been keeping late nights lately.
Me: Mom please, you are getting me scared with all the late nights you've been keeping. Its strange and making me overthink. Are you scared James will take me? Mom I already told you I won't leave you. Mom I love you and Dad and I don't take your love for granted.
I hit the press button and heave a sigh. I waited for a reply for five minutes and when it didn't come I gave a faded smile.
I felt a weight placed on my chest and I just wanted to cry it all out. I couldn't help how I was feeling and it was eating me. I looked at my phone's screen and check the time. It was past Xavier's closing time and I just hoped he returned already. I couldn't stay all by myself, my thoughts were messing with my head.
I turn on the phone again and dial Devin's number. I needed to talk to someone or I'd go crazy.
"Emily?" His voice called over the call. Immediately I saw he picked, I ended the call.
I couldn't hold back the feeling but I didn't want him to hear me cry.
Xavier's truck drove in and I raised my head to his direction. I wanted to apologize for getting violent and hitting him.
I sniffed back the tears welling in my eyes and walk toward where his truck was.
"Xavier?"
I tried opening the door and he came out stinking. He smelled like alcohol and he was looking strange.
"Have you been drinking?" I inquired, with no idea how to take care of a drunk person.
He hiccuped and laughed at me. "Do I- look dru.. nk?"
I tried closing my nose for a second. "You're stinking! Fuck."
"Not true," he defended and tried moving but staggered.
"I'll help you," I said and placed his hands over my neck. He placed his weight on my body and I couldn't move. "Hold yourself a little, take a step forward."
He inclined and kept laughing. "I know what I'm doing Emily."
"No you don't," I scoffed.
I dropped him on the sofa and straightened my stance. I was breathing heavily because he had weight.
I made sure to lock the door and turn off the Tv.
"You should leave me alone bitch, I know what I'm doing."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. Xavier never called me a bitch in his normal state. I hated the version of him alcohol created, it made him arrogant and intolerable.
"Go away."
"I wasn't going to stay here with you anyway!" I fired back.
I looked at him and turned away. Since he claimed to know what he was doing, I was going to let him be.
I walked to the room and changed from the biker shorts. I wore only the big polo and climbed my bed.
I fell asleep but felt a weight on my body. My eyes blinked open and I saw Xavier.
"Shh, I'm not going to hurt you."
I didn't understand what he was doing on my bed with his hands on my tummy.
"I love you Emily and I know you love me too."
I looked at him with disbelief and distaste. He was still stinking of alcohol and it turned my tummy. I tried getting his hands off me but he held on tightly.
"Emily, I love you and its driving me crazy."
My lips twitched at his acknowledgment. He moved closer and I tried shifting my head.
"I know the problem is your body but I can wait. Trust me, I can wait."
His hands moved to my thighs and I swallowed hard.
"Xavier let go of me-"
"Shh," he said and climbed on me. I tried kicking him off but he already had a firm stance on me.
His hands greedily gripped my clothes and forced it out of my body. I regretted not wearing something else because now I wore only a pant under the polo.
"Emily," he called as he unfastened his belt.
This can't be happening. I cried and kept whimpering but he didn't stop.
He got his dick out and pushed it between my thighs. My breathing pace increased when I realized he was using my thighs as a means to jerk off.
He kept sliding it in till he came and had his cum pour on my thighs.
"Fuck," he moaned.
"I love you Emily."
There was no way it sounded the same after he just molested me.
"No one else can have you if I don't."
"Fuck you Xavier, I hate you!"
He claimed off me and put his flaccid dick away. He pulled my face and forcefully kissed me.
"I'm obsessed with you, fuck it."
He used the right word because there was no way he could call this love. You don't hurt people you love, you don't do shit like this to them.
My eyes filled with tears when I realized James was right all along. I felt used, I felt like an object and I couldn't believe it.
"I'm risking my life for you, Emily."
I looked at him with so much distaste and wiped my tears with my hands. He turned and looked at me, he didn't feel remorseful that he just assaulted me and that made me cry harder.
"Emily, I'm doing the worst thing on earth for you."
Did he mean to me? He was definitely doing the worst thing to me and not for me.
"I've done so many bad things for you Emily, so many I can't even begin to count. In all these the fucking worst is falling in love with you." He paused and ran his hand through his hair. "Fuck it, I regret knowing you Emily."
Was it the alcohol controlling him? He wasn't in his state of mind and it irked me to know he could be this violent.
"I guess since I already know you, I just have to play along and act like it isn't the worst thing."