Chapter 193: A Failure

Lila’s POV

Blood.

The moment I hit the forest floor I coughed it up, copper hot and thick in my mouth.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” I spat into the moss and kicked at roots until my ankle slammed into something hard. Pain lit up, but I didn’t care. I screamed instead.

“I hate you, Aria!” I howled, the words tearing out like claws. “I hate you so much!”

I was bawling, flailing, throwing a tantrum like a child who’d been robbed of her one toy. Fists slammed into the dirt…leaves flew.

I grabbed at branches and yanked, trying to tear anything down with me. I cursed her name until it tasted like ash. The forest answered with wind and the hollow cry of my wolf…useless, whining at my feet like the idiot it was.

“Everything was perfect,” I spat between curses, shaking my head so hard my vision blurred.

“Everything was on my side. The storm…Dina’s storm…she made it, she said it would hide me, she said it would keep my stupid sister away until I get the work done. I was there. I was right there and…”

I pressed my fist to my mouth and tasted blood again. Rage bubbled and burst into louder noise.

“Why couldn’t I just have my way? Just once!” I screamed at the sky, daring whatever gods or fate or twisted rules to answer. “Was that too much to ask? Why couldn’t she just…just fucking die?!”

The words were raw. They clawed through me. I felt how every syllable slammed into the trees. My wolf whined and pressed its nose against the corner of my mind.

I lashed out, wishing I could see her physically, like I could detach her from myself and beat the hell out of her. Stupid animal. Useless. It should have done more. It should have seen her coming. It should have seen through the trick.

“The only thing you’re good at is running your stupid mouth and fucking!” I yelled angrily and she whined like a weakling.

I swung at the stump where my hand used to be. The ache flashed and then the real pain followed…raw, nerve-deep. I cursed it, called it useless, called myself useless. I pounded the stump, fingers smacking the rough wood until my knuckles burned. “Stupid hand,” I hissed. “Stupid, stupid…”

When the tantrum finally emptied me, I lay there a long time. Breathing ragged. Blood drying into my hair.

My chest heaving until it felt like I couldn’t pull another breath. When I could move again I pulled myself up. My good hand shook as I wiped my face.

Snot, blood, tears, dirt smeared across my cheek. I sniffed, laughed…a short, ugly sound that tasted like victory from a broken tooth.

Crazy laughter climbed out of me because for a second I could see exactly how clean it all should have been. But that stupid girl couldn’t help but be a hero right?

Dina had used the storm as a decoy. She had summoned it herself. I remembered the chant, the way the air bent around her like a thing obeying a command.

I was standing there, watching her, feeling all the power hum under my skin. One second I was in front of her, seeing her mouth move like a mad prophet. The next second I was somewhere else…suddenly plunged into a black chamber so damn dark I thought it must be some kind of trick of light.

Chains clanked in the dark. I tasted iron. There, in the center, was him…my sister’s mate…shackled like an animal, eyes wild and blinking in the half-light. Perfect. So easy.

Dina’s shadows crept along the walls like obedient servants. They shifted and opened his bindings a little because that’s what shadows did when their mistress commanded.

I stepped forward and let the illusion fold around him. Dina’s magic made him see me as his salvation. Made him see me as what he wanted. A lie shaped into truth. He reached out with hope and I let him. It was beautiful in the sick way of it.

My plan was simple. Make him believe. Make him want me. Then the crowd would watch as Ivy Blackwood…the queen-to-be…was dragged out and broken. Tortured in front of the very people that should bow before her. Make her beg. Make her kneel. Watch them turn away from the spark they thought would lift them.

I should have had it all. I should have ordered her execution then and there. But no. I waited. I made the mistake of patience. I told them to hold off until morning. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

One hard slap jolted me out of the memory. Pain blossomed on my right cheek…hot and stinging. I stared up to see Dina hovering over me. Her face was a pale moon with teeth. She didn’t look like the kind of witch who sang and smiled. She looked like one who ate mistakes for breakfast.

Her hands curled in the air and the world narrowed. The air around my throat tightened like fingers.

Magic pressed into my skin…not pretty light, but something dark and oily that slid under bone. I gagged. My good hand scrabbled uselessly to try and fight her off, but it was pointless anyway. I tried to speak and my words died in my throat.

“I handed victory to you,” Dina hissed, voice cold as grave dirt. Her nails were claws. “You had it all on a platter…a bloody platter…and you messed it up. How useless can one be to destroy a feast set before her?” Her fingers dug in the air as if she could squeeze the failure out of me. “Do you know how stupid that is? How pathetic? Do you know what you are, Lila Carrington?”

I coughed. Blood bubbled at the back of my mouth. I fought to stand, to shove her away. “I…” I started, but the sound came out raw and small.

“I made it very easy, you spineless cow,” she snapped, venom lacing every syllable. “But instead of you killing his light immediately, you decided to play the unripe queen. You pranced like a crown fit you. You begged for the crown and then ruined everything.” Her grip tightened. I tasted metal.

“You had one mission,” she spat, like the words struck me across the face. “One. And you came back…no… I pulled you back, with your hands empty. You let your sister play hero. You let her steal the spotlight. How many times must I feed you chances before you learn? How many?”

I clawed at her, fingers digging into her sleeve. “No…please…” My voice broke. “Give me one more. I can fix it. I can…”

She laughed then. It was bright and clean, like a blade. “I gave you enough chances, Lila.” The words were simple and final. “Get out of my sight.”

She let me go then, and I collapsed to the ground. I didn’t move, panic slamming into my chest like a physical blow.

I went down on my knees in front of her without thinking. The forest was a blur, her face huge and terrible over me. I pressed my forehead to the cold of her boots and wrapped my arms around her ankles like a beggar. “Please,” I sobbed. “Please, great sorceress. Don’t leave me. Don’t…”

She stepped forward, already turning away. Her coat brushed my cheek like a promise she was breaking. I felt her go. The shadows began peeling away with her heels. I was alone on the ground, hands clamped to her feet like a woman clinging to her only hope.

“No,” I screamed, louder than I ever had. “Please, please, please, I’ll do better…I’ll finish the mission this time so please…”

My voice cracked into the trees as she began walking off. I held onto her feet, nails digging into her skin, begging with a sound so raw it made no sense as my body swept the forest floors.

But the more I fought to hold on, the more my hand slipped from her leg, as though she was vanishing.

The last thing I saw was her silhouette cutting through the forest, and then she was gone.

I was on my knees, bleeding and shaking, screaming my eyes out, pleading into a night that didn’t answer.