Chapter 150 Chapter 150
Michelle smacked his arm immediately; Tessa hid her face against my shoulder, mortified, while I guided her calmly back upstairs, ignoring laughter breaking behind us once we disappeared from view. Inside our room she groaned dramatically, collapsing onto the bed.
"They all know."
"Yes," I said calmly, removing my jacket. She peeked at me cautiously.
"You're not mad?" she asked. I crossed back toward her, brushing hair from her face gently.
"No," I answered honestly. Because seeing her happy, relaxed, and alive without fear. Made embarrassment meaningless, I grabbed her, pulling her into me. “I need you again," she said with a whisper, and I knew we were in for a long night.
Month Seven
Tessa
By month seven I finally felt like myself again, except somehow louder emotionally and physically because everything inside me felt turned up too high, hunger came stronger, laughter came easier, tears arrived without warning, and desire followed me everywhere like my body forgot moderation entirely. Everyone looked at me weirdly because the second Zaiel was around, I would drag him off to our room.
The sickness faded long ago, and energy returned in waves that made staying still impossible. I walked more, talked more, laughed more, and, unfortunately, wanted my husband constantly in ways that made everyone steer clear.
It started slowly; at first it was just missing him more during the day, then waiting by the clock for him to come home, then realizing the moment I heard his car pull into the driveway, my entire body reacted before my brain even caught up. By the second week everyone understood something had changed. Nobody said it directly, but the house adapted very quickly.
The second floor became suspiciously empty every evening around the time Zaiel returned from work; conversations migrated downstairs, television volume increased slightly, and suddenly everyone developed urgent reasons to remain anywhere except near our bedroom hallway.
I noticed, of course I noticed, and embarrassment followed immediately after realization, but I genuinely couldn't help it.
The moment he walked through the door, something inside me settled and ignited at the same time, needing closeness, warmth, reassurance, and touch, all tangled together until resisting felt impossible.
One evening after he fell asleep beside me, I stared at the ceiling, mortified, replaying the past week in my head while heat crawled up my neck. This wasn't normal behavior, was it?
The next morning I found Alina in the garden sitting beside Dad while he explained something about soil rotation with intense seriousness only he could manage, sunlight filtering softly across the flowers while calm surrounded them both.
I hovered awkwardly before finally sitting beside her; she noticed immediately.
"You want to ask something," she said gently.
I hesitated, twisting my fingers together before forcing the words out quietly.
"I think I owe you an apology," I said, and her brows lifted slightly, amused.
"For what, sweetheart?" she asked.
I lowered my voice instinctively even though nobody stood close enough to hear.
"For… making the entire house uncomfortable lately," I said, and understanding dawned instantly across her face, followed by warmth instead of judgment.
"Oh," she said softly, fighting a smile, and my face burned.
"I swear I don't mean to," I rushed out quietly. "I just… when he comes home, I can't seem to control it, and everyone clearly notices, and I feel horrible because this is your home too. "I said.
Alina reached over, squeezing my hand gently before I could spiral further.
"Tessa," she said kindly, laughter hidden behind patience, "every woman in this family has gone through this stage." she said, and I blinked
"What"
"Hormones," she continued calmly. "Your body feels safe now, protected, loved, and it responds by wanting connection. There is nothing shameful about that," she said. I stared at her, shocked.
"You're not… embarrassed?" I asked.
She laughed softly, shaking her head, "My dear, when I was pregnant with Zaiel, his father practically avoided meetings just to come home early." The staff learned very quickly which hallways to stay away from," she said, and relief hit me so suddenly I nearly laughed.
"So everyone knows," I asked.
"Oh absolutely," she replied warmly. "And everyone also understands."
I covered my face, groaning quietly, "I keep apologizing to him too."
"And what does he say?" she asked.
"Nothing," I admitted. "He just looks pleased. "I said," and that made her laugh outright.
"Yes," she said knowingly. "That sounds exactly like my son."
We sat there a moment longer while calm settled into my chest because for weeks guilt sat beside desire, making everything feel ridiculous and overwhelming at once.
"I thought something was wrong with me," I admitted softly.
She shook her head. "Nothing is wrong. You survived fear, loss, and trauma. Now your body is choosing closeness instead of survival. That is healing," she said, and her words stayed with me the rest of the day because she was right. I wasn't afraid anymore, not of losing him, of being alone, especially of the future growing inside me.
When evening came and I heard the familiar sound of Zaiel arriving home, anticipation fluttered through me again despite my earlier promise to behave normally, but I lasted exactly three minutes. He barely stepped inside the bedroom before I crossed the space toward him, laughing breathlessly at myself.
"I tried to wait," I admitted.
His hands settled automatically at my waist, eyes soft with amusement.
"I can tell"
"It's not funny," I muttered, though I smiled anyway.
"It is a little," he replied quietly.
I shook my head even while leaning closer because warmth spread through me instantly the moment he touched me, grounding and steadying in ways nothing else managed.
Later, when we finally came downstairs for dinner, conversation paused again in that familiar way that made me want to disappear into the floor. Michelle avoided eye contact entirely, Damon suddenly needed water, Dad focused intensely on cutting vegetables, Anthony was interested in his plate, and Shea smiled far too knowingly.
I pressed closer to Zaiel, whispering under my breath, "They know again."
"They always know," he murmured calmly.
The house moved around me with quiet understanding as if this stage belonged naturally to family life. That night while lying beside him my hand rested over my stomach feeling slow movement beneath my skin while his arm wrapped securely around me
"I embarrassed you today," I whispered.
He shifted slightly, looking down at me.
"No," he said gently. "You're happy."
And hearing that settled everything inside me because maybe month seven wasn't about control at all; maybe it was about finally wanting life fully, and for the first time since everything began, I stopped apologizing for needing him so much because everyone in this house already understood something I was only just learning.
I was safe enough to want joy loudly again.