Chapter 87: Take Me Upstairs

POV: Carly

Carly bit down on Niko's bottom lip, hard, before letting it snap back into place, licking over the small mark left behind while she held his eyes. Stormy blue meeting stormy blue. For the first time all night she felt like the one in control.

His expression — shocked, aroused, completely unprepared — was the most satisfying thing she'd seen all evening.

She gave Aurora one last look before leaning in to whisper against Niko's ear.

"Take me upstairs."

His head jerked back, eyes wide.

"Carl—"

She pressed a finger to his lips before he could get further.

"Shh. Take me upstairs, Niko. Or I'll take you."

She didn't wait for an answer. She stood up from his lap, steadier than she had any right to be, reached for his hand, and pulled him up after her, leading them toward the stairs.

"Well, at least we know who's getting laid tonight." Enzo called after them.

Katy shot her a look that was somewhere between impressed and you better tell me everything tomorrow.

Aurora muttered something under her breath and rolled her eyes, turning back to her drink.

Carly felt a victorious little smile creep across her face. She loved feeling in control. Loved, even more, how visibly annoyed Aurora looked.

This is petty. This is so petty, even for you.

She ignored the voice telling her this was a mistake, that she needed to stop letting Aurora dictate how secure she felt in her own relationship, that this — throwing herself at her own hesitant, very hot boyfriend just to win some invisible contest — was not the same as actually wanting this for herself.

She ignored all of it.

They stumbled their way up the stairs together, Carly tripping forward into his chest at the top, laughing so hard she nearly knocked them both over before he caught her easily.

"Whoops. I slipped again." She giggled, cupping his face in both hands.

"Carly?" He said, nervous.

"Hmm?" She hummed against his jaw, trailing kisses along it.

His eyes fell shut, swallowing back a sound when her mouth shifted from kisses to slow, deliberate licks.

"You're pissed."

"Pissed?" She mocked.

"Snockered."

"Snockered?" She repeated, grinning wide at the word.

His head fell back against the wall, dimples cutting deep, unable to fully hold back a laugh at her terrible attempt at his accent.

"Drunk." He said simply.

She bit her smiling lip and shook her head. "I'm wasted." Announcing it like a triumph, fingers threading through his curls.

For a second he just smiled at her, loving the sight of her this loose and happy even as something about the reason behind it nagged at him.

Then he felt her hands sliding under his shirt, exploring up his stomach, and his brain short-circuited entirely.

She's going to be the death of me.

He caught her wrists gently.

Her face fell instantly. "What?"

"That's exactly what I'd like to know." He said.

"I'm perfectly fine." She cut in, wrapping her arms back around his neck, mouth finding his jaw again. "Now, are we really going to waste time talking—"

Her lips were too good, too insistent, for him to keep a clear head. She smelled like honeysuckle and vanilla, tasted like bourbon with a hint of nicotine, and it was an objectively strange combination that he could not stop wanting more of.

He backed them into the nearest door, lips never breaking, and barely had time to register that he was now pinned against it instead of the other way around as her hands slid down his chest with clear intention.

This is wrong. I should stop this.

But her mouth was insistent, her hands were curious, and one of the fantasies he'd never admitted to having out loud was unfolding in real time.

It feels too good.

He had never felt this consumed by anyone, swallowing every desperate sound she made like he was starving for it.

"Carl—"

She didn't let him finish, lips too quick, too determined.

"I want you." She moaned against his mouth. "I want you to fuck me."

The words melted straight into the kiss, her tongue tangling with his, fingers tugging hard enough in his hair to pull a low moan out of him before he could stop it.

Christ. She is not making this easy.

Hearing her say it that plainly hit him harder than he expected.

Every part of him wanted to give in. To stop holding back, to take what he had spent weeks only letting himself imagine. But as good as it felt — and it felt incredible — it was wrong. He wasn't that person who took what was offered without asking if it should be offered in the first place. Not anymore. Not with her. He never would be again.

This was Carly. She would never forgive him for letting her make this decision in a state she wasn't fully present in. And he would never forgive himself for letting it happen, for hurting her more than he already had without meaning to.

Not their first time. Not like this.

He found the strength to catch her wrist as it reached for his belt.

Her eyebrows pulled together, lips falling into a frown. "What's wrong?"

He exhaled. "This isn't right."

She let out a short, sharp laugh. "Right, because you're too busy using your lips for the wrong things."

He held her by the shoulders gently when she leaned in to try again.

The confusion and hurt that flickered across her face hit him like a blow.

She took a step back, crossing her arms over herself protectively.

"Oh — sorry, you don't want to have sex with me?"

"What? After everything tonight, how could you possibly think I don't want you?"

"I don't know, maybe because you're rejecting me while I'm literally throwing myself at you. Did you ever reject Aurora?"

"What the hell does she have to do with any of this? Is that what this is about? The look, the drinking, all of it?"

Carly didn't answer. She turned away, arms still crossed.

Niko ran a hand through his hair and sat down heavily on the bed.

"Please, Carly. Look at me."

She turned partway, just enough to satisfy him, though her eyes stayed somewhere off to the side.

He found it, despite everything, kind of charming.

"For starters," he said, "there's nothing I'm looking forward to more than having sex with you someday. I've thought about it more than I probably should admit." A small grin. "That's not what tonight is about, though, and I don't ever want you doubting how much I want you. Under different circumstances I'd happily indulge in whatever you wanted but—"

"But what?"

"But something's going on with you tonight, and I need to understand what it is, because my mind is going to dark places without an explanation. You're not acting like yourself. You're hammered, which is also unlike you, and now this. You told me sex matters to you. That makes it matter to me too. You shouldn't be doing something this big drunk enough that you might not even remember it tomorrow."

Carly pressed her lips together hard, fighting the tears that came easier than usual with her guard this far down. She bit at her trembling lip, certain he was about to end things with her right here and somehow his gentleness was making that feel worse, not better.

A shiver ran up her spine as his cold hands slid over her arms from behind, soothing the goosebumps with the lightest touch. She hadn't even registered him standing.

"Talk to me." He said quietly.

She blinked back a few tears and turned fully into his arms.

She knew exactly how she looked — tangled hair, smeared makeup, tear-streaked cheeks, eyes red and swollen, reeking of liquor from every pore.

"Okay, but you can't laugh." She said. "I'm serious."

"Why would I laugh?"

"Because I'm about to sound like a drunk drama queen you're probably going to want to break up with."

He waited.

"You want honesty? Fine. I am honestly having the worst time tonight." The sob came without permission. "Maybe the worst night I've had in a while, and it's not because of you. Your intentions were sweet. Wanting me to meet your friends, to be part of your life—" She sniffled. "That means everything to me. And your friends are great. I love that you have people who actually have your back."

"But?"

She sighed, looking down at her bare feet, briefly distracted by the realization she'd lost her heels somewhere along the way.

"But all of that gets pushed aside every time I'm reminded that one of your good friends is also your ex."

"Carly—"

"I know, I know, you keep telling me to stop worrying about Aurora, that I'm being obsessive about it. Maybe I am. But can you blame me? What girl wants to watch her boyfriend's ex hover around him constantly, knowing she'll be there every single time you're with your friends? Knowing she'll bring up exactly how good the sex was, how many times, all these details I'd rather not have in my head." Tears threatened her throat now too. "And knowing you and I haven't even gotten there yet. I don't even know if we ever will."

"Love—"

"Don't lie and pretend you didn't enjoy your time with her, or that you won't get tired of waiting on me, because I know sex has always mattered in your past relationships. And then there's me. The prudish virgin witch who's seen maybe two penises in her entire life. It's just—" Her voice cracked. "Really shitty."

Niko's mouth twitched. "Situationship, huh? That's a new one for me, love."

"I told you not to laugh at me, jerk!" She shoved his shoulder, harder than she meant to.

"Sweetheart, I'm not laughing at you. I promise. Come here." He sighed, tugging her gently down to sit beside him on the bed.

It was infuriating how easily he could deflate her panic and inflate it back up into something manageable in the same breath.

She flopped onto the mattress. "I knew it. You're laughing because you think I'm an insecure brat. Welcome to the club."

He shook his head, turning her fully to face him.

"That is not even slightly what I'm thinking. Look, Carly, I really don't want sex to be this weight hanging over us. It shouldn't feel like there's some clock running. I curse modern dating culture for convincing you there is one."

He could stop being perfect at any moment.

"It only mattered before because I didn't want anything more with the people I was with. Nothing I had with them comes close to what I have with you. This — what we have — is something I've never experienced. I want it to last, however long that takes. What I feel for you outweighs anything I've felt for anyone."

"But Aurora—"

"Did I genuinely consider something real with her at one point? Yes. I never told you because it felt insignificant — brief, fleeting, never something I intended to chase further. She's—" He sighed. "Complicated. To put it mildly."

Carly felt even more foolish now for letting Aurora get under her skin so easily.

"I'm sorry I let her get into my head like that." She said. "It's just, she's the only ex of yours I know about, and she's always around, and she's gorgeous, and experienced, and immortal. It's a lot to sit with, no matter how secure I think I am."

He understood that completely. He'd spent plenty of nights wondering if Carly would eventually run back to Tommy, or to someone less complicated than him.

"I'm sorry for letting her get between us like that." She added. "If there's anything else about you two I should know now, please just tell me. I don't think I can take more surprises tonight."

He shook his head firmly. "No more surprises, I promise. And she's lying through her teeth if she told you I wanted a real relationship, or any specifics about our history. I've never wanted that kind of thing with anyone — until you."

Her chest tightened in the good way this time.

He tucked a few loose strands behind her ear. "I meant what I said. I don't mind waiting until you're ready. However long that takes. And I know for a fact tonight wasn't it — adorably drunk and all."

She huffed out a laugh, sniffling. "God, I'm such a mess." She buried her face in her hands. "How can you even look at me right now?"

"Because you're effortlessly the most beautiful, charming creature I've ever seen."

"Even when I try to jump your bones like a madwoman?"

"Especially then." He laughed.

She looked back up at him, the man whose eyes only ever seemed to sparkle like that for her, whose hands she trusted with her heart even when her own judgment was clearly compromised.

She groaned and hit his chest lightly. "You can't say things like that when I'm a snockered wreck."

He laughed, pulling her into his side. She yelped at the squeeze to her hip before melting against his shoulder.

Her palm found his cheek, tracing the scratch of stubble, unsure if it was the alcohol or just how badly she wanted him that made her unable to stop touching him tonight.

Maybe both.

"What?" He asked, smiling at the way she was looking at him.

Her finger traced his eyebrow, down the bridge of his nose, over his lips, humming softly to herself the entire time.

"I really, really like you. You know that, right?"

He caught her hand, kissed each fingertip. "I do. And I you."

"No, I mean really like you. To the moon and back and past the stars. That much."

His chest ached with how hard his heart pounded.

"You're going to regret stroking my ego this much in the morning." He said, kissing her nose.

She laughed, tugging gently at the curls on the back of his neck.

"Maybe. But I'm very tipsy right now, so who's to say I'll even remember." She rubbed her nose against his, simply wanting to stay this close.

For the first time all night, she felt completely content. Just being held by him felt like home.

"Niko?"

"Yes, love?"

"Thank you for caring about me."

He smiled against her hair. She was, he was learning, an extremely emotional drunk.

"It wasn't difficult, love. I promise you that."

"I'm not as perfect as you think I am."

"I never thought you were. I don't want you to be anyone but exactly who you are with me."

"Even when I screw up?"

He pulled back to look at her properly, cupping her face. "There's nothing you could do to screw this up. And I'm hardly one to judge — whatever it is, I'm sure I've done worse, twice over."

"Doubtful." She murmured.

She pressed two fingers to his lips before he could argue, looking at him with a bittersweet little smile, hating how close she'd come to risking what they had over a manufactured competition with a girl who didn't even matter.

She closed the distance for one more slow kiss.

"Let's get out of here." Niko suggested. "This place lost its charm ages ago anyway."

"Good call." She said. "I'm pretty sure I'm about to be sick."

He smirked, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "I'll get you back to your room. Fresh bucket and some painkillers waiting for you, I promise."

"You'll stay? Even after I throw up and pass out?"

He kissed her again, soft and certain.

"Always."