Chapter 24

"I can't believe she's dead," Mike uttered. He shook his head and looked down at his hands. "It doesn't seem real."

Not sure what to say or do in this situation, Sammy gently stroked his back before pulling him in for a hug.

"I feel like it's my fault," Mike said. "If I hadn't abandoned her, she might—"

"Don't think like that," Sammy warned him. "There's no point in wondering what if. You're barely more than a kid and you don't have any influence over life and death."

As Sammy spoke those words, he knew they were a lie. The Hexers held Grace's life in their hands, and they had chosen to let her die. Even as he comforted the boy at his side, he was aware of how easily he could turn it around and force him to suffer to death as Grace had done.

'We had no way of knowing what Grace would do,' Sammy told himself to ease the guilt.

'Plus, we were going to save her. Why couldn't she just have held on another night?' Sammy thought, directing misplaced anger at the dead girl.

"The worst thing is, I'm upset, but all I can think about is kissing you," Mike admitted, turning to face Sammy. "And now it feels like I'm using her death to guilt you into kissing me. I suck."

"You don't suck," Sammy soothed him.

After a short pause, Mike looked up at him sheepishly.

"I could suck," he offered.

Despite the dour situation, Sammy laughed and punched him in the side. "Pervert!"

Without asking or giving any indication Mike pulled him in for a kiss. The pair sat on the bed, joined at the lips for the next ten minutes, occasionally stopping for air.

Every so many minute's Mike's hands would begin to wander. This technique probably worked on the girls he was used to, but Sammy wasn't like them. As much as his body wanted it, deep down he knew it was wrong to use a person that way.

'At least you aren't killing him,' the little voice piped up. 'And he deserves to be used after he treated you.'

When Mike's hand stopped rubbing him and unbuttoned his trousers, Sammy didn't stop him. He watched, feeling disconnected from the situation as the hand gripped him and began to move in a gentle rhythm. When the boy shifted, repositioning himself between Sammy's knees on the floor he looked up, as though seeking permission.

'I should tell him to stop.'

'I should definitely..."

Sammy bit his lip, looking up and closing his eyes as he melted with pleasure. It felt so much better than he'd imagined. Better than anything he could do to himself.

When he was done he realized his hands were gripping fistfuls of hair. He unfurled his fingers and smoothed out the boy's hair with an apologetic smile.

As Mike looked up at him, it occurred to Sammy that he should offer to return the favor. It would be the kind and polite thing to do.

'He wasn't kind to you when he used to throw your homework in the toilet and kick you about,' the voice in his head spoke up.

He watched as Mike shifted uncomfortably, trying to hide the bulge in his pants.

'I'll just let you be uncomfortable for a bit,' Sammy decided. Mike had done so much worse to him. One blow job wasn't going to make amends for years of torment. 'Besides, I don't know how to do it. I'd probably just choke or bite it off. He's safer this way.'

The plan was to forgive Mike today, releasing him from the spell and his utter devotion. Yet, as the boy rested his head in his lap, looking up at him with such complete adoration, he couldn't quite bring himself to do it.

'Just a few more days won't hurt,' Sammy bargained with himself.

He stroked Mike's hair and asked what he'd like to do next.

"Whatever you want to do." Mike smiled up at him.

Sammy smiled back at him, trying not to look as happy as he felt on the inside. He should appear sad; a classmate had just died after all.

As Sammy pictured the dead girl, he couldn't conjure a single image that wasn't her cruel sneer. Memories of the way she used to sit back and laugh when the others tormented him, egging them on with suggestions were all he had.

'I'm not sad she's dead,' he realized.

He could have stayed with Kiaan and Caine when she came over to apologize. He could have convinced Kiaan to forgive her. But the thought of seeing her horrid face was too much.

'If you weren't so mean to me, you might be alive right now,' he addressed the dead girl in his mind. He wondered where she was, if she could hear him and if she knew why her life had ended. That abstaining from bullying him could have been her saving grace.

'Saving Grace,' Sammy almost chuckled out loud at the pun.

He wondered how the others were feeling. Did they also blame themselves?

He didn't want to see them. They would tell him to forgive Mike, and though he was most certainly planning on doing so, it wouldn't hurt to string it out a little longer.

'Mike won't kill himself. Not as long as I give him the attention he needs.'

"What are you thinking about?" Mike asked.

'I'm thinking about the power I hold over your life,' Sammy thought but couldn't say. Better to come up with a lie.

"I was thinking about Grace. It's so awful."

"Hmm, apparently she was depressed and had been cutting herself for ages. Nobody knew about it," Mike revealed.

It was upsetting, but also a relief to hear. Maybe the Hexers club wasn't to blame after all.

Wishful thinking.

"Do you want to come to my house for dinner?" Mike asked.

Sammy frowned, taken aback by the question. There wasn't a lot of point in meeting the family of a guy who was destined to lose interest in him within a matter of days... weeks at most.

'Can I string this out for another week?'

"I don't think so—" Sammy tried to decline.

"Please?" Mike interrupted, grabbing his hand. "Please? It would mean a lot to me. Please?"

Seeing the desperation in his eyes, Sammy couldn't bring himself to say no.

'I don't want him to get upset and hurt himself like Grace,' Sammy reasoned.

It was one reason.

The other was meeting the family would make it more awkward for Mike to dump him after the spell broke. Maybe, just maybe, they would be an official couple before it ended. It was a sneaky move.

"Sure, okay," Sammy said. He enjoyed the way Mike's eyes lit up, so happy at the prospect of spending time in his company.

'Just a few more days, then I'll leave you be.'