FREDERIK’S POV
“GAGO mo, brad. Akala ko ba itatama mo na ang mga mali mo, then ano ito? Akala ko ba mahal mo, ang gago mo lang. Talk shit ka, Fred.” Pagmura at pangaral ang naabot ko sa mga kaibigan ko. Damn it, hindi ba nila naiintindihan kung bakit mas pinili ko yung anak ko... anak ko 'yun eh. He is in this difficult time, where his mom was diagnosed with a mental illness... nabaliw si Diana, hindi niya nakayanan ang kahihiyang natanggap niya, dagdagan pa nang malaman nitong hindi rehistrado ang kasal namin. At nang itakwil siya ng mga Frank, legally.
Halos magpakamatay siya and damn it –Daniel Apolonio was nowhere to be found. Akala ko ba mahal niya si Diana? Ba't hindi siya ngayon magpakita at protektahan ang taong mahal niya.
“Paano mo iyan nasasabi, Frederik?, ni hindi mo nga magawa sa taong pinakamamahal mo eh. Hindi mo nga kayang protektahan si Leysa. And again, you left her! Hindi si Leysa ang nang-iwan kundi ikaw ang tumalikod sa kaniya,” sambit ng konsensya ko. But damn, hindi ko pwedeng unahin ang babaeng mahal ko na kaya naman ang kaniyang sarili kaysa sa anak ko na walang kamalay-malay at nasa vulnerability stage.
“Mas kailangan ako ng anak ko, Art...” tanging nasambit ko lang.
At napailing lang ito, “pina-DNA mo na ba?” Umiling ako sa tanong ni David.
“Hindi na kailangan iyon, nakasama ko ang bata ng halos anim na taon --may bond na kami kahit papaano at dadagdag lang iyon sa trauma ng bata. Kaya anak ko man o hindi –basta, I'll take responsibility of him. Lalo na at hindi siya tatanggapin ng mga Frank ngayong hindi na kasapi ng pamilya nila si Diana. At nakokonsensya rin ako sa ginawa ko kay Diana. I deceived her, wala lang din kaming pinagkaiba. She used someone to get the Frank's riches, and so am I –I used her to get WilCo.," paliwanag ko.
“Ewan ko sayo. Be happy naman, brad. Hindi pwedeng lahat ng bagay, aakuin mo ang responsibility out of guilt, sa tingin mo maitatama nun ang mga maling desisyon n'yo sa buhay? –hindi, dadagdag lang din 'yun sa mga sana ng buhay mo. And I am telling you. Bahala ka na nga. Basta ayoko ng tulungan ka if ever na mali ka na naman,” sambit ni Franco sabay tawa ng mapakla. He is mad at me –it’s visible in his face. Pero alam kong andiyan lang sila parati para sa akin, kahit gaano man ako kagago.
“Hello Philippines and Hello World. Our guest for tonight is the very controversial woman of all time. Please welcome, Ms. Leysa Frank –oh wait, it's Guevara? Oh sorry... again, please all welcome, Ms. Leysa Guevara.”
Napadako ang direksyon ko sa nakabukas na television dito sa bahay ni David. Pumunta kasi ako rito kasama ang anak ko, para makapaglibang ito kalaro ang anak ni David na lalaki, at tama namang napadako rin dito ang dalawa, si Art at Franco.
“Ang ganda niya talaga. Ayaw mo na talaga sa kaniya, Fred?” Napalingon naman ako sa direksyon ni Franco. Hindi ako sumagot. Ayoko, nasasaktan pa rin ako sa isiping hindi na siya mapapasakin sa ngayon.
Kaya ibinalik ko ang tingin sa TV. Ito ang unang labas niya para magpa-interview. She is really beautiful on and off the screen. And I badly wanted her, I want to claim her, over and over again. But damn this responsibility thing, it is eating me whole. Tama nga si Franco, I am taking responsibility out of guilt. Yun din ang dahilan kung bakit ayokong ipa-DNA ang bata dahil baka kapag nalaman ko ang totoo, talikuran ko lang din siya. Paano na lang siya? I can't just leave him in an orphanage, when I can be his father for the meantime. Diana was an orphan, no family of her own and I don't want that same psychological problem for Daniel. Hindi naman ako tanga para hindi malaman kung sino ang ama ng bata talaga. Kahit hindi ko ipa-DNA, pangalan palang ng bata, alam ko na that he is not mine. But that jerk of a man, Daniel Apolonio. I can't reached him, 'di ko siya mahanap. I hired so many agents to find him but no trace. Kapag siguro maibigay ko na sa kaniya ang anak ko, i mean anak ni Diana. Siguro doon, doon ko lang magagawang piliin si Leysa. Ayoko rin kasing sisihin ko lang din siya kasi may mga bagay akong hindi ko naiayos sa buhay ko. Sana lang hindi mahuli ang lahat.
“Ligawan ko kaya siya. She is single and I am, too. We are a match,” sambit pa ulit ni Franco. Damn him.
Napatingin ulit ako sakaniya at napasimangot, kaya natawa lang ito at umiling. Tumahimik na kami at nag-focus sa palabas. Ngayon, sasagutin niya lahat ng issue.
“So Ms. or Mrs. Guevara?” -Host
“(Chuckles) Ms., it will always be Miss.” -Leysa
“Oh... I thought. Oh well, I am just curious, Ms. Leysa –are you related to Don Leonardo Guevara, the well-known business magnate of all time? And why did you change your surname?” -Host.
“He is my grandfather, mother side. The only one that was always on my side, the only person who can choose me without hesitation and at all cost. And the only person who asked me 4 years ago what really happened why I did that –you know the scandal I had 6 years ago. And I changed my name, because... how can I use my father's name if he already hated and threw me away? (mapait itong ngumiti. I can feel her sadness and madness she felt towards her parents.)” -Leysa.
Ramdam ko rin sa mga salita nito ang hinanakit dahil hindi ko siya kayang piliin... sa ngayon.
Please Leys, stay still. Wait for me.
“So totoo pala talaga ang bali-balita na itinakwil ka ng mga Frank. (Tumango siya bilang pagsang-ayon sa sinabi ng host) Pero nakikita ko namang may magandang naidulot ito sa iyo, dahil nakilala mo ang iyong Lolo. Oh well, let's get to the point. Totoo ba na paghihiganti ang dahilan kung bakit umapid ka kay Mr. Frederik Wilford noon?” -walang prenong tanong ng host, at hindi ko nagugustuhan ang paraan ng pananalita niya, kaya tumingin ako kay Franco.
“After that show... patalsikin mo 'yang host na iyan. I hate the way she throw questions at Leysa.”
Napailing si Franco.
“Hindi maaari, brad. It's her job, and she is just doing what she needs to do. So don't mind my employees,” sagot ni Franco sa akin. Psh. Ibinalik ko na lang ang tingin sa palabas.
“Yeah... it's true. To make the story short. One night, I saw this adopted sister of mine with my fiancé having sex in the forest and I heard them talking shits on how to get my riches from me, you know that, every pound, thrust, labas masok ng kaniya kay Diana –it was breaking my heart, I love him. I really do, but they betrayed me. That's why it made me ditch him on our wedding day, without saying what really happened that night to anyone. And then after a year I get back to get my revenge, and yes –by seducing Frederik Wilford. Kasi alam ko mahal na mahal siya ni Diana at masasaktan siya kapag nalaman niyang mas pinili ako ng asawa niya over her. Betrayal to betrayal that's what I want. But then, circumstances happened. Bumalik sa akin ang karma, which is the scandal I have 6 years ago. And the pain was doubled when I realized that no one will ever choose me, and the end." -Kwento ni Leysa na parang wala lang sa kaniya.
Nakaramdam naman ako na parang may tumusok sa dibdib ko. So she also used me for her revenge, lahat pala kami ay naggamitan lang. But I didn't used her for something. Pero ramdam ko ang sakit at pait nang bitawan niya ang mga huling linya. That's why I want to say sorry to her, multiple times. But she hated me now.
“Damn, pare... real talk na si Leysa. Grabe ang lakas ng loob niyang ikwento at ilabas ang lahat. Pero alam mo, you two are not a hopeless case, actually. You love her and it's visible in her that she really loves you, too. She do... kung hindi, hindi siya aalis, 6 years ago. Nasaktan siya pare --it means she loves you that much. But here you are, doing shits because you are so guilty on what you did to Diana.” Komento ni Art. Tama siya. Ano ba! Nalilito na ako. Napasabunot na lang ako sa aking buhok, out of frustration.
Mali bang talikuran ko ulit siya? I love her. Damn it!
“And that video scandal of Diana and Daniel, iyon 'yung gabing they betrayed you. So ikaw ang nagpalabas ng video na iyon?” Napatawa si Leysa sa tinanong ng host.
“Who knows who? But it's not me. Kung gusto kong ilabas 'yun edi sana noon pa.” Kalmadong sagot naman nito, kung sabagay.
“Pero may balak ka bang alamin kung sino ang nagpalabas nun? Kasi it caused chaos to your sister's life... and mind.” -Host.
“Wala. And who cares? Kasalanan niya na iyon kung hindi niya nakayanan ang resulta ng kagagahan niya. And she is not my sister. I am an only child –take that.” Mahinahon pero matigas na sagot ni Leysa.
“Tama naman, kung sa akin din mangyari 'yun. Baka kinasuhan ko pa sila. It hurts, brad tapos tinalikuran mo pa siya noon at ngayon. You always betraying her, unknowingly.” Napaisip ako sa sinabi ni Art. I always betrayed her. Shit. I am the real caused of her pain –pasakit lang ako sa buhay niya.
“So all the issues are now clear. But I have one last question, Ms. Leysa Guevara... are you and Mr. Frederik Wilford, a thing? For real? Minahal o Mahal mo ba siya?” -Host.
Napatingin ulit ako sa TV, nang marinig ko ang tanong sa kaniya.
“Not choosing me against all odds, means he has no rights to be in my life. That's all.” - Leysa
And there she said it and it broke my heart. Ramdam ko ang pagkapunit ng puso ko sa mga sinabi nito. Maikli lang 'yun pero sobrang sakit. Naikuyom ko ang aking kamao. Galit ako sa aking sarili for hurting her this much.
Tinapik lang ako sa balikat ng mga kaibigan ko, nang matapos sa statement na iyon ang interview ni Leysa. Napayuko ako, it's my fault after all. I never chose her, not even once. Kaya tama lang ito sa akin. Hindi ako nararapat sa piling ni Leysa, dahil panigurado masasaktan at masasaktan lang siya sa piling ko. And I felt it, my tears are falling like shits. Damn it! It's the second time, I cried because of a woman and the worst thing is with the same woman I love the most.
LEYSA’S POV
Kakatapos lang ng live interview ko. And they all loved my honesty and bravery to face the issues I chose to leave behind before.
Oh well, we are all coming to this point that they all call –growing up... and it is good, right? Hmm.
Pasakay na ako sa sasakyan ko nang may tumawag sa akin na nagpatigil nang paghakbang ko.
“Leysa, honey.” Mahinahon pero may pananabik na sambit ng tao sa likuran ko. Ayokong lumingon but I need to. I need to face them now, to have a better and happy life tomorrow.
Dahan-dahan akong lumingon, at parang naging hudyat din iyon para yakapin ako nang mahigpit ng aking ina. Oo, siya ang tumawag pansin sa akin. I missed her, I missed this kind of hug, a Mom's hug. Hinahanap-hanap ko ang mga yakap na ito noon hanggang ngayon. Kaya hindi ko na rin napigilang mapahagulgol at mapayakap sa kaniya. Lumapit din ang Dad, and he touched my face, murmuring words, I longed to hear.
“Sorry for all the wrong things we've done to you. At sana hindi pa huli ang lahat sa pagtama ng mga maling desisyon namin. Bumalik ka na sa amin anak.” My dad said. I just smiled at him as a response.
Umuwi ako that night na may saya kahit papaano, dahil nagkausap na kami ng mga magulang ko, and we fixed everything we need to fix, na dapat noon palang naisaayos na kung hindi lang ako nilamon ng galit at paghihiganti. But then, everything is slowly falling in its right places, paunti-unti I am moving forward.
Even Lolo and my Mom already talked. They fixed all their misunderstandings before and I saw how happy my grandfather was. Yun naman ang pinaka-aasam asam niya eh. Mayakap ulit ang kaniyang pinakamamahal na anak.
Andito ako ngayon sa harap ng bahay nina Mom and Dad. They got it renovated dahil na rin sa masamang pasok daw ng swerte sa kanila. Kaya binago nila ito, lalo na raw at bumalik na ang talagang tagapagmana nila which is me. Oh well, we have a family dinner tonight.
And yes, I brought my twins with me. Hindi pa nila Mom alam ang tungkol sa kanila, ngayon palang nila malalaman na may apo na sila. Natanaw ko naman ang dalawa pang sasakyan na kasama naming magdi-dinner.
I looked at my twins, they are looking pretty good in their cute dress and suit. Napangiti naman si Freda when I stared at her.
“Mama, I know I am pretty. See? Because you are my Mom,” sambit nito na nagpa-giggle sa akin.
Tinignan ko naman si Leyson na nakatingin sa labas ng sasakyan ko. He was sad, it's visible to me because I'm their mom. Alam ko ang bawat galaw nila, pero bago pa man ako makapagsalita. He already said something that really broke my heart.
“Mama. I think we should go back to England, we are not fitted here.” Mahina nitong sambit sabay yuko. That's why I reached for him.
“Come here, my boy.” At lumapit naman siya sa akin, and hugged me tight like how I hugged him.
“I saw him, yesterday... at school. I thought, we are the one he was waiting for. But I saw how he hugged and carried the boy, Mom. And I feel envied. I shouldn't feel this way but I can't. I am jealous of how he cared for the other child.” And there he said it, and it broke my heart into pieces.
Kasalanan ko ito. I didn't let my children meet their father. Kasalanan ko ito. I think I need to talk to him, for my children –our children.