Chapter 9 Falling
I couldn’t stop shaking.
Even after I climbed back through my window and lay in bed, my body still hummed with Eli. The soreness between my legs. The memory of his hands. The way he looked at me like I was the only thing in the world that mattered.
And the worst part?
I wanted to go back.
I pressed my face into the pillow and whispered another desperate prayer.
'God, please… take this feeling away. I know it’s wrong. I know I’m sinning. Please help me.'
But the prayer felt hollow. Because even as I begged for forgiveness, I was already thinking about the next time I’d see him. The next time he’d touch me. The next time he’d call me his. Mom came to check up on me but I pretended to be asleep.
Sleep didn’t come until almost dawn.
The following evening, Mom left again.
She didn’t even try to hide it this time. Same nice dress. Same careful makeup. Same vague “church meeting” excuse. When I asked if I could come, she just kissed my forehead and said, “Not tonight, baby. Stay home and rest.”
The door closed behind her, and the house became too quiet again.
At 10:40 p.m., my phone lit up.
Unknown Number:
'Old chapel. I need you tonight.'
He always uses different numbers to text me. Well, that's a realistic way to stay discreet. I stared at the message for a long time. My thumb hovered over the delete button.
Instead, I typed back:
Me:
'On my way.'
I hated how fast my heart raced as I slipped out the back door again.
Eli was waiting inside the small prayer chapel, standing in the middle of the room like he’d been pacing. The second I stepped in and locked the door, he crossed the space in three strides and pulled me into his arms.
He didn’t kiss me right away.
He just held me. Tight. One hand cradling the back of my head, the other wrapped around my waist like he was afraid I might disappear.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” he murmured into my hair. “Couldn’t focus on anything.”
I pressed my face against his chest, breathing him in. “This is getting dangerous, Eli. Things have been different over since I became an adult. My mom keeps leaving at night. She won’t tell me where she’s going. Chloe and Leah are watching me. I feel like… like everything is closing in.”
He pulled back just enough to look at me. His eyes were intense, but softer than I’d ever seen them.
“I know,” he said quietly. “And I’m sorry you’re scared. But I need you to know something.”
He gently brushed my hair behind my ear, his thumb tracing my cheek.
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Not like this. It’s not just… physical. When I see you sitting in that front pew every Sunday, trying so hard to be good while I know what you taste like… it drives me crazy. In the best and worst ways.”
My breath caught.
“You make me feel like I’m losing my mind,” I whispered. “I pray every night for God to take this away. But the moment I see you, all I want is you. Even though I know it’s wrong. Even though we’re literary going to burn for this.”
Eli’s forehead rested against mine.
“Then let’s burn together,” he said, voice rough. “Because I’m not giving you up, Abby. Not for the church. Not for my father. Not for anything.”
He kissed me then — slow, deep, and full of something that felt dangerously close to real.
We didn’t rush this time.
He undressed me carefully, like I was something precious. Kissed every inch of skin he uncovered. When I was completely bare in front of him, he looked at me like I was the only thing in the world worth worshipping.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, dropping to his knees.
He spread my legs and put his mouth on me. I had to bite my hand to stay quiet as his tongue worked me slowly, deliberately, like he had all the time in the world. When I came, shaking and whimpering his name, he held me through it, kissing my thighs gently.
Then he stood, lifted me onto the table again, and slid into me in one smooth thrust.
We both moaned.
This time it wasn’t just fucking.
It felt like something more.
Eli moved deep and slow, eyes locked on mine the entire time. Every thrust felt like a confession. Every kiss like a promise he shouldn’t be making.
“Tell me you’re mine,” he breathed against my lips.
“I’m yours,” I gasped, legs wrapped tightly around him. “God help me… I’m yours.”
He groaned and picked up the pace, fucking me harder, deeper. I came again, clenching around him, and he followed right after, burying himself to the hilt as he spilled inside me.
We stayed connected for a long time afterward, foreheads pressed together, breathing each other in.
“I’m scared, Eli,” I whispered into the quiet. “I’m really scared.”
He kissed me softly. “I know. But you don't have to be. I’ve got you. Whatever happens… I’ve got you.”
We got dressed in silence, stealing small touches and soft kisses. Before I left, he held my face in both hands.
“Be careful going home. Text me when you’re safe.”
I nodded.
As I slipped out the side door and started walking home through the back paths, my heart felt too full and too heavy at the same time.
I was falling for him.
Hard.
And I had no idea how to stop.
\-
I was halfway home when my phone buzzed.
Mom: Where are you? I just got home. Answer me right now.
My blood ran cold.
I started typing a reply when another message came in.
And then, from a different unknown number:
Unknown:
'Be careful, Abby.'
I stopped walking in the middle of the dark path, staring at the messages, heart hammering.
What the hell was happening?