After a week, Kamiah’s maternity leave will be ending. They have hired a babysitter who will take care of Kai while Kamiah is at work. Everything is already in place and ready.
“Are you okay?” Acwell asked as he entered the bedroom.
“Yes, I am fine,” Kamiah answered.
“You have been staring at the wall for how many minutes now before you could even notice that I am here.”
“I just don’t understand what I feel.”
“What do you mean? Did something happen while I am gone?”
“Nothing happens. It is just I am excited to go back to work. I miss my job. I miss working.”
“So, what is the problem? Why you look so sad?”
“I will be at work for almost 9 hours. Kai will be with someone he barely knows. And I feel sad and guilty about it.”
“You have been with him for quite a while. It is normal to feel separation anxiety.”
“Yes, I think that is why. I am used to being with him all day long.”
“But almost all mothers go through it not only you.”
“But, now, I understood it very well.”
“Do you know that even me I feel the same whenever I live for work?”
“Do you?”
“I may smile whenever I leave but I also feel hurt leaving you two.”
“I never expect fathers to feel that way most especially you.”
“Of course, we do. It's because I will miss both of you. And it is not also easy for me to leave my exhausted wife alone doing a lot of things in the house. But I need to earn a living. These are the sacrifices that every parent must go through.”
“Yes, you are right.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. There is nothing wrong with choosing to work. I cannot label you as a terrible mother for doing that.”
“Thank you! I feel a little better now.”
“Don’t worry, as Kai grows older, he will understand it. He will not take it against you.”
Kamiah smiled and hugged him.
“But do you want to quit working so you can be with him?”
“No. We need the money. Life here is difficult.”
“I know. But I am okay if you wanted to do that. You just have to tell me.”
“Okay. I will think about it first.”
Earlier that day, Acwell has to comfort another mother who is going through the same thing. Catrina sent him messages and videos of his daughter.
“Watched the video Acwell. Amara now learns how to say, papa. She is now looking forward to seeing you.”
Acwell replied, “That is a good job for my little girl. Does she know how to say, mama?”
“No, not yet. Even the word papa she just learned it today.”
“She learns fast.”
“She is a smart girl. I hope for her to say mama soon.”
“She will for sure.”
“I missed her so much. It is hard to live her miles away just so you could provide for her.”
“It is difficult for every parent, especially for a mother, to live their kids. But you have to be strong. You do that for her.”
“I know. Every day she is teaching me how to be strong. But, at some point, I wish someone is there to help me out.”
“You said she will be with you soon, right?”
“Yes. I can’t wait for that day to come.”
“Then focus on that. Be excited about it. Not every mother has that chance. Some have to wait for how many months or years before they could even see their children.”
“That is true. I am lucky. We will see her soon. Are you excited?”
“Now, stop crying. Why won't you call her instead.”
“I will do that. Thank you.”
It is another sleepless night for Acwell. The two women in his life are suffering and he can’t do much about it. It is hard for him as a father. He wanted to make them live comfortably. But providing them a little financial aid and sparing a few minutes to listen to them is all that he could do.
This time his heart aches for what Catrina is going through. Kamiah’s feeling is valid but at least after she finished working, she will go home and see her son. He is there to hug her and kissed her whenever she would feel lonely. But as for Catrina, she had to wait for how many months before the next time she could see her daughter. She only has herself. Nobody is there to cheer her up during times like this. It is a more painful situation.
But the feeling he has for Catrina could not equate to the love he feels for Kamiah. It is more of the guilt and pain knowing that someone has to go through such suffering all because of him. However, the decision of him and Catrina to separate is still one of the best decisions he ever made. He does not regret doing it. All the more, he does not regret marrying Kamiah.
He watched Kamiah sound asleep. She had been washing a bunch of dirty clothes and cleaning the house. She could not finish but with a baby that requires 24-hour care, she did well. He appreciates it but he is not very good at showing it.
“I know I don’t tell you often how much I love and appreciate you, but I do,” he said and kissed her before going to sleep. He decided that tomorrow he would wake up early so he can prepare breakfast for her.
The next day, he did what he planned to do. It made him feel good to help his wife and to see her smile with the simple gesture he did. She even hugged him before going to work. But while heading to work, he also checked on Catrina.
“I hope you are feeling better now.”
“I am. I decided I would call her even during my break time at work so I don’t miss her that much.”
“That is good. You should do that.”
“I will. Thank you! How are you?”
“I am fine. Now, I have to go to work.”