Chapter 32 Confession
The days blurred together in a haze of phone calls and guilt. Ben called every evening now, sometimes twice a day. Nora found herself looking forward to the calls, to the sound of his voice, to the way he made her feel like the person she used to be before Shadowveil stole everything from her.
But with each call, with each conversation that stretched longer than the last, Nora felt herself pulling further away from Noah. From the life they’d built.
She told herself it didn’t mean anything. That talking to Ben was just about the children. About closure. About understanding what had happened to her life while she’d been gone.
But deep down, she knew she was lying to herself.
Noah noticed. Of course he noticed. He wasn’t blind, and Nora wasn’t as good at hiding things as she thought she was.
It started with small things. The way she’d tense up when her phone rang. The way she’d suddenly need privacy for calls that were supposedly about work. The way she’d stare off into space during dinner, barely touching her food, lost in thoughts she wouldn’t share.
“You’ve been quiet lately,” Noah said one evening as they sat on their small couch. The TV was on but neither of them was really watching it.
“I’m just tired,” Nora said, the excuse wearing thin even to her own ears.
“You’re always tired now. Or distracted. Or somewhere else even when you’re sitting right next to me.” Noah muted the TV and turned to face her. “Nora, what’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t shut me out.” His voice was gentle but firm. “We escaped hell together. We’ve been through things that would break most people. You can talk to me. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
Nora felt her throat tighten. She wanted to tell him. Wanted to be honest. But she was terrified of how he’d react. Terrified of hurting him. Terrified of losing him.
“It’s nothing,” she insisted. “I’m just adjusting to everything. The job, the city, this normal life. It’s harder than I thought it would be.”
Noah studied her face for a long moment. “Is it the nightmares again? Are you having trouble sleeping?”
“No, it’s not that.”
“Then what?”
“Noah, please. Just let it go.”
“I can’t let it go when the woman I love is clearly struggling with something and won’t tell me what it is.” Noah reached for her hand. “Nora, I love you. Whatever it is, we can work through it together. But you have to talk to me.”
Nora pulled her hand away, standing up abruptly. “I just need some space, okay? I need time to process everything.”
“Space from what? From me?”
“From everything! From Shadowveil, from the escape, from constantly looking over our shoulders, from all of it!”
“That’s not what this is about.” Noah stood too, his voice rising to match hers. “This started a few weeks ago. Something changed. Something specific. And you won’t tell me what it is.”
“Because there’s nothing to tell!”
“You’re lying to me.” Noah’s voice was flat now, hard. “You’ve never lied to me before. Not once during all the hell we went through together. But you’re lying now. I can see it in your eyes.”
Nora felt tears burning behind her eyes. She turned away, unable to look at him.
“Fine,” Noah said after a long silence. “If you won’t talk to me, then I’ll just say what I’m thinking. You’re pulling away from me. From us. And I need to know why. I need to know if this, what we have, if it’s even real to you anymore.”
“Of course it’s real.”
“Then prove it. Tell me what’s going on. Tell me the truth.”
The words hung in the air between them. Nora stood with her back to Noah, her arms wrapped around herself, trying to hold together all the pieces that were threatening to fall apart.
She could keep lying. Could keep saying nothing was wrong. Could protect this secret a little longer.
But Noah deserved better than that. Deserved the truth, even if it would hurt him.
“I saw someone,” Nora said quietly. “A few weeks ago. Someone from my past.”
She heard Noah’s sharp intake of breath behind her. “Who?”
“My husband.” The word felt strange on her tongue. “Ben. My husband Ben.”
The silence that followed was deafening. Nora could feel Noah’s shock, his confusion, radiating from him like heat.
“Your husband,” Noah repeated slowly. “Someone who declared you dead. Who moved on with his life. That husband.”
“Yes.”
“How? How did you see him?”
Nora turned to face him, needing to see his reaction even though it terrified her. “He’s been in Toronto. He found me somehow. He was the one watching me. The person in the hoodie I kept seeing outside the bank.”
Noah’s face went pale. “That was him? The person you thought might be the Mafia King’s people? That was your husband?”
“I didn’t know it was him at first. Not until I confronted him.”
“When did this happen?”
“Three weeks ago.”
“Three weeks.” Noah’s voice was hollow. “You’ve known for three weeks and you didn’t tell me.”
“I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“How about ‘Hey Noah, my supposedly dead husband showed up and has been stalking me’? That would have been a good start!” Noah’s voice was rising again, anger replacing the shock. “Three weeks, Nora. Three weeks of you being distant and distracted and lying to me about work calls.”
“I wasn’t lying. Not exactly—”
“Not exactly lying is still lying!” Noah ran his hands through his hair, pacing now. “What did he want? What did he say to you?”
“He said he’d been looking for me. That he thought I was dead. That he wants to try again. To be a family again.”
“And you talked to him.”
“Yes.”
“For three weeks you’ve been talking to him.”
“He calls sometimes. To talk about the kids. To coordinate when I can see them.”
“The kids.” Noah stopped pacing and stared at her. “Your children. The ones you thought might be dead.”
“They’re alive. They’re with Ben’s mother. They’re safe.”
“And you’re going to see them.”
“Yes. When Ben arranges it. When they’re ready.”
Noah was quiet for a long moment, processing all of this. When he finally spoke, his voice was carefully controlled. “What else? What else haven’t you told me?”
“My sister showed up. Sussie. I hadn’t seen her in fifteen years. She and Ben came together to find me.”
“Your sister and your husband. Both suddenly appearing in your life after five years. Both wanting to reconnect. And you just… what? Welcomed them back?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It seems pretty simple to me. Your old life showed up and you’re considering going back to it.”
“I’m not going back to him!” Nora’s voice was sharp. “I’m not. I just… I needed to know about my children. I needed answers about what happened to my life while I was gone.”
“And what did you find out?”
“His second wife died. He’s alone. The kids are with his mother. He’s been looking for me.” Nora’s voice softened. “Noah, he’s the father of my children. I can’t just ignore that. I can’t pretend he doesn’t exist.”
“I’m not asking you to ignore him. I’m asking you to be honest with me!” Noah’s composure was cracking now. “I’m asking you to include me in these decisions instead of sneaking around behind my back having secret phone calls with your husband!”
“Ex-husband. Technically.”
“You’re not even divorced! You just said it yourself!” Noah’s laugh was bitter. “God, Nora. We escaped Shadowveil together. We built a life here together. I thought we were partners. I thought we were building something real.”
“We are. This is real. What we have is real.”
“Then why does it feel like you’re already halfway out the door?”
“I’m not.” Nora stepped toward him, but Noah backed away. “Noah, please. I’m not going back to him. I promise.”
“Do you?” Noah’s eyes were searching hers, desperate for truth. “Do you promise? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you’re falling back in love with him.”
“I’m not falling in love with him.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“I don’t know!” Nora’s voice broke. “I don’t know, okay? I’m confused. I’m torn. He was my husband for eight years. We had children together. We had a whole life together before everything went to hell. And now he’s here and he’s sorry and he wants to try again and I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel!”
“You’re supposed to feel committed to the man you escaped with! The man you said you loved! The man who’s right here in front of you!” Noah’s voice cracked. “Nora, I love you. I risked my life for you. I left everything behind for you. And now you’re telling me you’re confused about whether you want to be with me or with the man who abandoned you?”
“He didn’t abandon me. He thought I was dead.”
“And I KNOW you’re alive! I’m here, Nora. Right here. Choosing you every single day. And apparently that’s not enough.”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying? Because it sounds like you’re trying to find a gentle way to tell me you’re going back to him.”
“I’m not going back to him. I promise. I’m just… I need time. I need to see my children. I need to understand what my life could have been if I hadn’t been taken. That’s all.”
Noah stared at her for a long moment. Then he shook his head slowly. “Time. You need time. Okay. Fine. Take your time. Figure out what you want. Who you want.”
“Noah—”
“But while you’re figuring it out, know this: I won’t wait forever. I won’t be your backup plan if things don’t work out with Ben. I deserve better than that. I deserve someone who chooses me without hesitation.”
He grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair.
“Where are you going?”
“Out. I need to clear my head. I need to not be here right now.”
“Noah, please. Don’t leave like this.”
“You’ve been leaving me for three weeks, Nora. Every time you took one of his calls. Every time you lied about who you were talking to. You’ve been leaving me piece by piece. I’m just making it official for the night.”
He walked to the door and paused with his hand on the knob. “I love you. God help me, I still love you. But I can’t compete with a ghost. With a life you lost and want back. If that’s what you want, if you want him and your old life, then be honest about it. Don’t string me along while you decide.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Isn’t it?” Noah opened the door. “I’ll be back later. Or maybe I won’t. I guess we’ll both just have to wait and see.”
The door closed behind him with a soft click that felt like a gunshot in the quiet apartment.
Nora stood alone in the living room, tears streaming down her face, the weight of her choices crushing down on her.
She’d promised Noah she wasn’t going back to Ben. And she’d meant it when she said it.
But as she stood there in the empty apartment, her phone buzzing with another call from Ben, Nora realized she didn’t know if that promise was one she could actually keep.