As Rook drove one of the pickups that had been stored in a building, we were both silent. My thoughts were all over the place. His… I had no idea. To be honest, I didn’t know what my thoughts were either…what to think, how to feel. Torin was hurt, but…. Then all pretense drained out of me—this was Torin, no matter what he was calling himself, and despite my earlier thoughts, Satan and Torin were one in the same. It was at that point the tears came. Yes, Torin had hurt me, lied to, and deceived me, but right now none of that mattered, he was hurt, maybe worse. I didn’t know, and that was the bitch of the thing. But whatever his condition, it wasn’t good. If Burdock felt it was bad, then it was bad. Burdock was not the type to inflate a situation.
Mind wandering, I turned my head, looking out the side window. A bobbing headlight behind us caught my attention, and as I watched, another appeared, then another, and another, until there were at least a dozen motorcycles behind us. As they quickly caught up to us, two passed us, then two more, and finally two more until we had six in front of us and six behind us. Without even asking, I knew what was happening. Not only were we being escorted by some of the MC members, we were being protected by them as well. Their brother was in the emergency room, and come hell or high water, it was going to be insured, we made it to him safely. No matter how rough and crass these bikers' might be, or whatever disagreements might flare between them, they were a family and loyal to one another.
Fear began to shimmer through the fibers of everything I was. I had lost Torin once, I didn’t know if there was enough left of me to lose him again. My insides began to break. I felt I might lose my mind. This was real. I had tried for four years to put him behind me, and for four years I had grieved. Yes, I’d made peace with the knowledge I would never see him again, but my heart had never moved on. Could I do this? Could I face what awaited me and survive this time? I didn’t know, but as we pulled into the hospital parking lot, I knew my future lay within.
After Rook parked the pickup, he looked in my direction, then with a huff of a breath, he questioned, “You ready for this?”
I shook my head, staring out the windshield. “No, but whatever I find inside Rook, please, please be there for me. I know that my asking is selfish, he’s your club brother after all, and I know you are hurting too, but I have a feeling I am going to need you.”
Reaching out, he pulled me against him, then laying his chin on the top of my head, he murmured, “I’m not going anywhere. You are part of me, and I am part of you. Come the good or the bad, we are there for one another.” Then setting me aside, he grabbed my hand, and kissing my knuckles, he breathed, “I got you.”
With a nod, and a small prayer, I reached out and pushed the door open.
ROOK
My gut was sick. I knew what awaited Marlowe inside and I hurt because of it. Torin had taken multiple bullets—and right now, he was in emergency surgery as the surgical team tried to save his life. Burdock had said he’d been given a forty-five percent chance of surviving the surgery. NOT FUCKING GOOD ODDS.
As I watched Marlowe push her door open, I drew in a breath, I’d known who Marlowe was before she had ever confided in me. I had my own secrets. In time, when I felt she could handle who I was, I would tell her, but for now, all she needed to know was that I wasn’t going anywhere.
After climbing from the pickup, I made my way to her side, then once again taking her hand in mine, I pulled her to me again in a brief embrace before, pulling away, I began to lead her toward the hospital, our family right behind us.
THREE HOURS LATER
The waiting room was crowded. Twelve bikers plus me and Burdock had been in and out of the room, harassing the nurses at the nurses station for information, but we had learned nothing. Their generic reply from them had been ‘You will be contacted by the phone in your waiting room.' Tempers were high, and emotions even higher. No one had gotten word on Torin, not even Burdock. The surgery seemed to be taking ages, and as I walked back into the small waiting room carrying two cups of coffee for Marlowe and myself, Tombstone pushed Jethro and then all hell broke loose as Jethro came back swinging.
Within a blink of an eye, Burdock was up in the middle of their shit. “What the fuck guys? Is this how you show respect for your brother?” Then with a shake of his head, he snarled, “Either get it together or get the fuck out!”
Both Tombstone and Jethro hung their heads, looking properly chastised.
I'd narrowly missed having two cups of scalding hot coffee spilled down the front of me as I had danced like a ballerina out of the sudden chaos that had erupted, and as I sat down beside Marlowe, she looked up at me. I could see by the puffy redness of her eyes that she’d been crying again and my heart turned over. This woman had been through so much, and the hurts never stopped coming it seemed. She'd had a shitty life so far.
“Here, doll-face,” I offered, handing her the coffee. "You okay?"
She gave a noncommittal shrug. "I guess the best I can be right now. You?"
I offered my own shrug in return. "Same."
Then, her eyes again filling with tears, she implored, "What is taking so long, Rook? This is a bad sign."
As the cry had ripped from her mouth, it had taken everything I had not to storm out of the room and make my way to the operating room where Torin was, and demand I be told what the hell was happening. However, I knew I would be barred from the hospital, and that was the last thing Marlowe needed. With a slight clearing of my throat, I tried my best to hide the moisture that sprung to my eyes at her pain. That’s the thing about twins…they felt the same pain as the other did.
MARLOWE
This was unbearable! Torin had been in surgery for hours and I just kept thinking, hold on, don’t let go. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. God and I had never been on good terms. I had long ago decided he didn’t exist, but right now, if he truly was there, Torin needed him. So, putting aside all my disbelief in God’s existence, I became a hypocrite and prayed, placing all the cards in His hands. I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know how many times a person could ask the same favor repeatedly, but until I knew Torin was okay, the supposed man upstairs was going to be bombarded with my pleas. My butt had long ago fallen asleep, and standing, I signaled Rook to stay seated when he made to climb to his feet. “Stay where you are, I just need to move around a little.”
With a quick nod, Rook settled back into his seat, and raising his coffee cup, he sipped at the now luke-warm brew, his eyes following me as I made my way over to a window, peering out of it. The sun was beginning to rise, encasing the outside in what I knew was probably a spectacular color, but it was beyond me at the moment to find the beauty. Blowing out a breath, I turned from the window, and began making my way back over to the couch, but before I sat down, Rook murmured, "I know what you are going to say, but hear me out. We have no idea when we are going to hear something, you are going through something traumatic to your emotions, and creating a physical effect. You need to eat. So, let's go see what kind of nasty shit they are calling breakfast. My treat."
I considered his offer and realizing he was right and that I felt nauseated, I gave a nod. Standing, Rook draped his arm across my shoulders, and began to lead me to the door, just as the phone beside the couch rang.