Chapter 101: Not Real

Elinn I was curled up on the bed in the corner hugging my knees to my chest. Tears stained my cheeks as I desperately tried to pull myself together. I was alone in this room, alone for the rest of the night, Dr. Hallen had told Master that if I had anymore tonight my body would likely give out. It wasn't real, none of it had been real. Master had been the one who did all of this it wasn't them, they would never do this to me. They would never hurt me, this was al orchestrated by him, even if I wasn't sure how he was able to do all of this right now. The door once again creaked open and I pulled my legs tighter against my chest. I knew who it was going to be, he must have decided that despite the doctor's orders he was going to give me another beating. I hoped that he did just so I could escape this reality if only for a few hours. "It's okay now Darling, you're safe now. I'm not going to hurt you, we both know that I only hurt you to help you learn. I will keep you safe from those monsters," He whispered to me as he gently pulled my body against his. "It wasn't them….it wasn't them….it wasn't them," I couldn't think about anything else at the moment I was to focussed on. That it wasn't real I had to remember that to keep that the main focus of my thoughts at this moment. "No, no little girl they did all of this to you. They hurt you and they enjoyed it but I will always be there to save you," Master's voice was comforting and sweet and I almost wanted to believe him. "No….no….no….no," I mumbled as more tears fall from my cheeks. "Shh, it's okay….shh. I'm here now and I won't let them get to you again." He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear as I sobbed into my knees. "I'll leave you to think this all over, I'll be back in the morning to go over your lessons once again. Sleep well pet," He got off the bed and walked back out the door and I could hear it lock behind him. I refused to move from my position knowing that if I did I was going to begin to fall apart. Eventually after what felt like hours of holding myself and crying I could feel sleep beginning to creep it's way into my system. I needed this I needed to rest and to stop thinking for a few hours. I slowly let my body sink into the relaxation of darkness. "This is all your fault! You are the one who made this happen. You didn't make us happy, you disappointed all of us! We don't love you and you deserve this!" The voice of my mother yelled at me. As her voice rang in my ears something sliced across my skin and I did my best not to cry out. Each word seemed to be accentuated by the swipe of a blade across my flesh. I wanted to make her stop, why was she doing this to me? "I think….time to….visual will help….intensify….not to much….half an hour….start up then." I could vaguely hear other people in the room and it confused me. Why did they sit there and watch while I was being torn apart. Why didn't they help me to get out of this whole situation. "BECAUSE YOUR MOTHER ISN'T HERE! THIS IS JUST THOSE MONSTERS MESSING WITH YOUR HEAD ONCE AGAIN! DON'T TRUST WHAT YOU ARE HEARING, IT'S JUST THEM!" A voice screamed in the back of my head and I wanted to believe it. But everytime my mother spoke and told me she hated me and that I wasn't enough I was hurt over and over again. How could it not be her? "Remember what happened before all of this started. The mask that you are being forced to wear the tools that those men brought in with them. This is all fake, although it doesn't make sense none of this is real." As the voice yelled in my head the one inside my ears changed. "I thought that you would grow up to be something that I would be proud of. Something that I would want to claim as my own, but look at your your pathetic, your weak. All you ever do is call out for your mate to save you when he despises you just as much as I do." It was Ecstans voice that now filled my ears. Why was he here? How had he hadn't visited me in so long though I always begged him to stay when he visited. I wasn't sure why his words began to cut deeper into my soul than those that were spoken by my mother. "Useless little fool who can't do anything. I guess I'll just have to take care of you myself won't I?" As he said this I felt strong hands wrap around my throat and press down. I tried to buck and get his weight off of me but the more I struggled the harder he pressed down on me. I wanted to escape this world of pain caused by those that I trusted. The fact that he was choking me was tearing at my soul for some reason even though I didn't fully understand why. "You are nothing in this world and no one cares what happens to you. Can't you hear you precious little mate laughing in the background?" I could indeed hear the sound of loud bellowing laughs that sounded exactly like Carter's. Suddenly a bright light flashed before my eyes and I quickly shut my eyes to block it out. When I opened them I was able to see the room again, everything was the same only this time it was filled with those who I trusted and they were all covered in my blood. I looked into all their eyes expecting to see love, but they only held malice and viciousness. "It's time for you to pay Elinn. Pay for the lives you have taken from my pack, lives lost because you loved them. If it weren't for you they would still be alive," Carter snarled down at me and I saw the whip he was holding in his hand. "Carter, please don't do this! I know it isn't you please don't do this! I LOVE YOU!" I cried out even though my mind was still telling me that this wasn't real. "Oh no this is your lesson. It's my turn to teach you," Then the whip cracked and pain seared through my skin