Chapter 70: Untitled Chapter

GIANNA

Despite my lack of experience in relationships I know enough to know that a relationship based purely on sex would never amount to anything.

Besides, even if what I feel is more. How would it even work? I'm not an idiot or narcissistic enough to think I would be enough to keep a renowned escort loyal and faithful to me.

No matter how I looked at it, it was doom from the start. It was just me, a boring twenty nine years old woman with serious trust issues and insecurities.

Also there's only one of me and two of them not to mention how would I even choose? And to top it all up, my stance on relationships is still the same and it will never change.

I don't need or want a relationship or the complications that come with it.

And even if they feel the same way about me and want a relationship with me it will be a fruitless endeavor and a waste of time for all parties involved.

The only thing I can give them is sex, nothing more nothing less and while I might be willing to experience more of the pleasure I get from them, I doubt they'll want to stay with one woman in a relationship that would go nowhere when there are thousands of women out there.

Beautiful women who would pay exorbitant amounts to have sex with them. Another thing to consider is how an affair between us will work.

There's a vast difference between role playing with two men for a slice of the forbidden and reality.

God! Just thinking about all this is giving me a massive headache and I don't need that shit right now.

I'm having difficulty with who I am, acting out of character, doing things I normally wouldn't be caught dead doing.

I've cried more than I ever thought possible throughout the night which is something I never do. I don't cry, ever!

I can't even remember the last time I was in a situation where I couldn't control my emotions like last night except for when I'm between them writhing and gasping in total abandon, while they control my body like a fiddle.

But that's different, I wasn't in my mind then, I was lost in the throes of passion, a slave of my own desire.

Yesterday when I found out the truth about them I wasn't. I was hurt, angry, confused and crying. I wasn't cold or detached or rational.

Ever since I could remember I've hardened and guarded my heart so much so that nothing seems to faze me which was the reason even my own family members think I'm cold.

At the tender age of eight I had come to learn that crying doesn't do anything to help you other than make you look weak and I'm not weak.

Knowing that I'd bawled my eyes yesterday makes me feel pathetic in a way I haven't experienced before. Worse than I did when I was a child.

Because at least then I was a kid who didn't know any better, but I'm not that kid anymore. I'm a grown ass woman and crying over something I couldn't possibly change is stupid.

Reminded of who I was, who I still am. I pulled myself together, I promised myself right then that from now on I'm going to be my normal self, I won't deviate from my original plans, I won't get distracted.

And I'm going to take care of my affairs as I usually do. Now that my stomach is no longer screaming for help I’m suddenly so eager to leave this place. I want to go back home and investigate, find out the truth.

I’m sure Bridget has already filed for a missing person report by now, which means I have to deny I was kidnapped and make up some story about where I was.

I want whoever had set me up to let their guards down, it's the only way I could investigate without them knowing.

With that thought in mind, I walked into the en-suite bathroom and strip, using a hairband I found on the dresser, I tied my hair up in a messy knot, not wanting to wet it.

The hot water felt really good as I stood under the rainfall shower head longer than I had intended, my brain did it thing.

I kept thinking, I wonder if my grandma and aunt Layla were now back in Chicago or if they are still in New York.

I wonder who would have set me up, I wonder where I was and how I got here in the first place.

Finally I wonder what I'm going to do if it turns out I'm really pregnant. I wonder what my family would think when I tell them I don't know the father of my child.

Though Jax had shown his interest in the possibility, I wouldn't tell him if I was expecting.

I don't care if I'm being unfair to them but I would rather that than my child suffering like I did. Whoever I gave birth to would be the most loved girl or boy in the entire world.

She would lack for nothing, only a father, that insidious voice in my head whispered. Well it beats having a dad who doesn't want you.

God, I can't believe there's a chance I might be knocked up by a male prostitute, now that's something. But then with the amount of women they've already had sex with, I probably wouldn't be the first.

They probably have hundreds of kids all over the country. I shove my head directly under the shower to dispel all the thoughts in my head forgetting my plan to not get my head wet.

Well, what's done is done, I close my eyes and let the hot water cascading do it work. Sometimes later I stride out of the bathroom, my skin had turned a little red due to the hot water.

I stood in front of the big walk-in closet contemplating what to wear, so far I’d been managing with Jax and Dane clothes which I’d barely held onto whenever I wore them and stopped from slipping off my smaller frame.

But I can't wear that now, I need something that fits and wouldn't fall off.

Wearing nothing but Jax's shirt, my long red hair damp and all curly. I padded out of the room with determination when I recalled my jumpsuit was still there in the other room and right now I needed it back, I couldn't go back home looking like a homeless urchin in oversized clothing.

I didn't think much of the way I was underdressed until I was almost near the room, and even I knew how it looked. Though I didn't want them to think I was seeking them out for sex, or tempting them I didn't go back.

Besides, they've seen me wearing far less, which is nothing, and it's already too late. They had already seen me, the door was wide open.

Jax was seated on the bed putting on his boot while Dane stood in front of the closet. They were talking about something Ruin had said, when I stopped outside the room which had been mine when I first arrived here or rather when I was brought here.

I remember that was the name of their boss, I stayed out, not crossing the threshold. They both took their time running their heated eyes over my body, it took strength I didn't know I had to not fidget.

Instead my eyes narrow in suspicion as I take them in. They were both fully dressed in similar dark jeans, jackets and boots.

The only difference is where Jax had worn a light gray jacket with the hood thrown back and a beanie on his head.

Dane on the other hand had on a long dark coat, a beanie and a muffler around his neck.

The former smiled at me warmly while the latter ignored me and concentrated on whatever it was he was looking for in the closet. Bastard.

“Gianna, I was just about to go see you. I just talked to our pilot. He'll be here in a couple hours. In my estimation we'll probably be leaving in two hours, you can catch up on some sleep, I'll wake you, so you can get ready when it's time,” Jax said

“I don't want to sleep. I just need my clothes and my phone back. I'll be ready to leave any time just let me know when,” I replied, feeling a rush of relief courses through me.I'm glad I'm getting out of this snow hell hole.

“There's no rush, take your time. You look tired, listen to me and take a nap, we aren't going anywhere without you.” He was looking at me in that soft caring way he does.

Oh yes, there is. The faster I'm out of here the sooner I'll know who has set me up.

Not to mention the faster I would be away from temptation, knowing what they do didn't in any way make them less appealing.

It also didn't escape my notice how they are both looking at me, even Dane who's ignoring my existence.

If I didn't leave here I wouldn't be liable for my actions. There's no doubt that we'll be tearing each other's clothes and fucking like rabbit if we stay any longer than two days.

That's how long I can hold up before I forget my good sense and I give in to my body's demands.

And I'm not saying this lightly. It's like my constantly having sex all the time since they brought me here, my original brain setup has been changed.

I held on to the hem of my shirt so tight my knuckles hurt, as I waited, Jax covered the few steps between him and Dane, who was now holding a bundle of clothes in his hands.

I couldn’t help getting my first full view of him. This is the first time I've seen him since last night.

To my surprise he was also looking at me though I couldn't read him. It was strange how you could be attracted to someone and still hate their gut.

While I'm still pissed at him it wasn't as intense as it was yesterday.

My eyes involuntarily lower to his strong body, I couldn't help the image that came to mind, or the phantom feeling of his powerful body thrusting into mine from behind.

I suddenly feel hot, I hope to God I'm not blushing right now. It would be embarrassing for him to see me blush, he might probably suspect what suddenly had me so red in the face.

It had been so good yesterday, that was before I found out I was nothing more than the next paycheck to them. That thought was enough to snap me out of my imagination and back to my senses.

My eyes fix on the bandage on his thumb in an attempt to distract me, my brows scrunch as I realize I've seen an identical bandage on Jax’s thumb too.

Did they get hurt when they were saving me yesterday? I can’t help but wonder how and when.

I bit my lip and forced down my curiosity, I know the moment I asked I'm giving away more than I want them to see or I'm comfortable with them seeing.

They will think I care, which I don't. I really don't. It's just me showing a little humanity just like they did for me after the accident. They'd come for me, saved me and had both taken care of me like they really care, like I matter to them.

I internally shake my head, I'm seriously over thinking their simple act of humanity. It means nothing, they would have done the same to any other of their clients.

I'm no different, no special besides they got paid to take care of me. That's it, I don't need to give it a special meaning, tomorrow by this time I will be gone out of their lives and them out of mine.

“Here, Dane has already set some clothes for you. Put them on and come find us when you’re ready.”

His eyes were warm, I glanced behind him at the equally intense man standing there, who is now looking straight at me.

I didn't say a single word ,I couldn't. I just took the clothes and my phone then I walked away.