Chapter 67: Untitled Chapter

GIANNA

I’ve barely slept throughout the night and now I feel drained, even worse than I did last night, though physically I’m feeling much better, it was my emotional state that’s the problem.

The entire time I lay curled in that bed, my head was in turmoil with the different thoughts in my brain.

Grasping at strands of everything I’d learned, so it can make much of a sense, but I couldn’t just help being distracted. My feelings were all jumbled up that I still couldn’t focus on one thought at a time.

It was hours later that I decided to snap out of it and save my rumbling stomach. Despite my lack of appetite the pangs of hunger echoing in my stomach couldn’t be denied any longer.

I’m so hungry that I start to feel light headed, I can’t even remember when last I ate, I think it was two nights ago before we went to the playroom, except for the chamomile tea Dane had made me I can’t remember eating anything else throughout yesterday and it’s already another brand new day.

It took every ounce of strength I had to force myself out of bed and make my way downstairs to the kitchen. Though there’s a storm outside and the lights were off, the place was cozy and warm.

They must have stayed long into the night and burned a lot of wood. I could still see the remaining embers in the fireplace. The bottles of whiskeys and glasses from hours ago were still there on the counter which was a first.

In the few days I’ve come to know them, I've learned the guys were really neat and organized; they don’t like any dirt or messiness.

Thinking about them brought a well of different emotions, for some strange reason I can’t stop seeing their faces in my head.

The way they both look, the glimpses of pain or was it sadness I seemed to have imagined seeing in their eyes whenever I had scoffed, taunted and mocked them—tugged at something deep in my heart.

Why in God’s name do I care about that. Why can’t I just let go of their thoughts? I should be trying to figure out who could have done this to me instead of fixating on them. And yet I can’t seem to stop myself.

Despite what I thought was my imagination, why does my heart ache when I recall the look in their eyes. I just don’t understand why they would look that way when I’m the one who was shocked to my bones.

I think my brain is seriously confused and trying to make me see what is not really there. Jax and Dane are like the unattainable moon, you can see, you can soak and bask in their light but can not grasp nor keep it for yourself.

That’s how I should see them. Safer that way.

Finding out not only was I kidnapped, but that someone probably Tessa or someone from my own family had signed me up with some kind of male escorts firm just so I can get fuck is enough to raise my anxiety level to the max.

Right now every member in my family is a suspect in my eyes, though there’s a large part of me that refuses to believe that they could do this to me.

Though I didn’t agree with it, I had understood all their matchmaking efforts and schemes.

But this? This isn’t a simple matchmaking scheme. It’s a betrayal of my trust in them, no matter what good intentions they had they’d definitely gone too far.

This is just too extreme even for them. I would be really heartbroken if it turns out it’s one of my family members.

It also means I was right in keeping my guards up all these years, that I was right in protecting my heart against betrayal such as this.

I shake my head, banning all the disturbing thoughts away from my brain and concentrate on my current problem.

Grabbing the necessary items I quietly brew myself a jug of coffee and make myself a double chicken sandwich, forcing down my reluctance I take a bite, chew and sip my coffee.

My hunger took control and I was taking one big bite after another and another like a starved wolf.

Sudden movements somewhere behind me alerts me that I was no longer alone and probably hasn’t been alone since I came down. The sound came from the tall and big man lying on the couch.

“Can I get a cup of that coffee?” Jax’s voice slices through the dark kitchen, hoarse from sleep, deep and yet calm.

I was halfway through my breakfast, with my first cup of coffee in my blood and half full cup of the second in my hands, warming my palm.

My mood is much better, lighter. The caffeine had done its work and boosted me enough that I have the strength to face the day ahead of me.

Though I have no idea of what to do about all these, if it turns out that my family is really involved in my kidnapping.

I know I have to go home and confront them but I definitely wasn’t looking forward to it.

Don’t get me wrong I’m almost glad to be going back to my family and I would have been really happy to see them, if there wasn’t any suspicion of them betraying me in my mind.

But now? Now I have to meet them, look them in the eye and wonder which one of them was the one who had signed me up and why they did that.

Though my family is big and tries so hard to keep myself apart from them, we’re all so close.

So to think that either one of my aunts, cousins or even my grandma could do such a thing is a hard pill to swallow.

One thing I was sure of is I know I can’t and won’t forgive them for betraying my trust even if it is Bridget herself.

Regardless of their good intentions, this is something I will never forgive. Due to my past and upbringing, trust is really important to me and to betray me is to destroy the trust I have in her.

Now, hearing Jax's voice suddenly made me so unsure about my feelings, the whole situation is a mess in my head. And when I glanced up as he came closer, and I took him in half cast in the shadows, he looked so big and gorgeous, his dark hair all tangled and messy.

Gunmetal gray eyes a slumberous shade that stole the breath in my lungs and that confused me even more. This weird feeling.

“Yeah sure, feel free to make it yourself,” I replied, my voice a little hoarse, lacking its usual bite.

There’s just something so calm about Jax that I can’t seem to get as angry with him as I do with Dane. Maybe it’s due to the fact that he’s the calm to Dane’s storm and as proven I’m a storm of my own.

He smiled at me softly and grabbed a mug. It was just a little lopsided grin that tripped my heartbeat and sent a fluttering wave down my stomach.

“Fine, I’ll make it. Just thought you’ll be a little bit charitable this morning?” He stated, a little cautious. I only glared at him as he went about making himself breakfast.

“Are you okay?” he asked, all mirth replaced by concern etched on his handsome face.

“What I mean is how are you feeling today?” he added when I just stared at him.

“What do you think? Do I look okay? For someone who recently find out she was kidnapped because someone close to her probably someone in her family might have signed her up to get fuck by some professional male prostitutes?” I asked, holding his gaze. Feeling like I was on a roller-coaster.

“Hmm, that was probably the wrong question to ask?” He helped himself to my half eaten sandwich, which I hadn’t gotten a chance to finish and suddenly didn’t have the appetite for, and bite into it. He moaned, his eyes on mine.

“This is good,” he said and took another bite. I said nothing, just stared at him and wondered how he started this profession.

My eyes glanced at his mouth as he chewed. I swallowed and looked away, how they could do some things in the same way and others so differently amazes me.

They are just so intriguing, so unlike other men I’ve met before, it probably has something to do with them being escorts.

Even when Jax is being a dominant jerk, arousing and torturing me sexually he’s always been so calm and gentle yet firm in his approach.

It was the reason why I had underestimated him when I first met them, though he wasn’t any less dominant than Dane. I also wasn’t wrong in my assessment of him.

Where Dane is a raging storm, Jax is a calm sea, both were made from the same fabric and yet different in their approach in life. Just like their looks, both gorgeous with similar features, they both maintained a slight difference in their looks, builds and demeanor that you could never mistake them for each other.

Strangely they also each brought out a slightly contrasting feeling in me though equal in their intensity. I don’t understand what I feel at all or why I’m feeling this way for two strange men.

I know I’ve been in love before and I certainly didn’t feel this way. Unless it wasn’t love that I felt for Colton, I shake my head.

No. How could it not be love? I was engaged to him, I was ready to begin a new life with him. If that’s not love then I don’t know what is. Maybe I’m just addicted to what they offer, to their passion and intensity.

Just like the intense look in Jax's beautiful eyes at this moment, my eyes glide lower caressing his sculpted upper body. He had no shirt on, only gray sweatpants that did nothing to hide the impressive bulge hiding behind them.

I swallow and bite my lip. My eyes fix right there, knowing exactly how that length feels buried deep inside me when it’s hard and hot.

I bite my lip harder, a voice clears loudly, that with the pain on my poor lip finally jolts me out of my shameless ogling and back to my senses.

Shit! I’ve been staring. Staring at his junk blood rush all the way to my cheeks, I blinked and hurriedly hopped off of my seat and went to dash out of there and as far away from Jax as I can get before I do something I know I will definitely regret.

I’m honestly disgusted at my utter lack of control when it comes to these men.

“Hey, wait Gianna,” Jax said, blocking my exit. His eyes were intense.