Chapter 29: Motel

The motel they stopped at was the shabbiest thing Hallie had ever seen in her life, but they had no other options and Seth was already running out of cash, which meant no Grand Hotel for them anytime soon.

Luckily, the inside was a little better than the outside, which made no sense at all—customers would flee seeing the peeling façade before they even took one foot in the facility. Hallie imagined the owners had simply given up on exterior maintenance, pouring all their energy into the lobby in a desperate attempt to keep their few remaining guests from walking right back out.

At the front desk, Seth tried to book a room with twin beds but was told not too politely that they only had double beds, and that he could take it or leave it. He obviously opted for the taking.

On the second floor, Seth opened a creaking door to a small room. It wasn't Hallie's standards of clean, but it could do. Faded floral wallpaper, a bed with a lumpy-looking mattress, a bathroom with fixtures that had seen better decades. It was, in its own way, perfect.

"Do you mind if I shower first? I feel dirty." He sniffed the shirt he was wearing. "Yeah, I definitely reek."

Hallie smiled at that; his straightforwardness was cute.

"Sure, go ahead. In the meantime, I'll go ask the reception if they have a medical kit. That wound on your arm needs tending."

"No." His voice sharpened, then softened. "Stay here. Slayer trackers could be around, and I don't want you alone where I can't see you."

Hallie wanted to argue—she'd been taking care of herself for five years, after all—but the fear in his eyes was real, and she understood it. They'd come too far, survived too much, to get separated now.

"Okay," she said. "But that arm gets cleaned the moment you're out of the shower."

"Yes, ma'am."

The shower ran for a long time.

Hallie sat on the edge of the bed, listening to the water through the thin walls, and tried to sort through the chaos of her thoughts. Tonight, they would break into the Light Sanctuary. She had no idea how difficult that’d be, but she hoped Seth had a solid plan in mind. Would they be able to get the answers they seek? And if the answers confirmed what she’s been dreading all along, since she’d commanded the shadows? The confirmation that she was a monster. How would she cope with that?

Her brain felt tired, even if she had rested in the car, this whole situation was pressing down on her, draining all her energy.

She decided to stop overthinking; she would leave those questions for tomorrow.

Tonight, they were here. In this shabby motel. Alone together for the first time since... since when? Since before the attack, certainly. Since before his father, before everything had spiraled into impossibility.

The water stopped.

A few minutes later, Seth emerged in a cloud of steam, a towel around his waist, his hair dripping onto his shoulders. Hallie's breath caught—she'd seen him without a shirt before, but never like this, never in the soft light of a motel room with nothing between them but air and years of longing. He had filled up in these five years. He’d built more muscle, his back and shoulders were broader, his legs more muscular. Surely the result of all that slayer training. He looked good. No, not good, spectacular, that was the right word, and sexy.

Hallie felt heat creep up her neck. She never had this kind of feeling for anyone, and somehow it felt wrong to look at him that way, but she just couldn’t help it.

"Your turn," he said, apparently oblivious to her reaction. "I'll find something for this arm."

Hallie didn’t need to be told twice, she escaped into the bathroom, where she stood under hot water until her skin pruned and her mind finally quieted.

When she emerged, in just her white blouse and underwear, Seth was sitting on the bed in boxers and a t-shirt, his injured arm wrapped in fresh bandaging. He'd found a first aid kit somewhere—probably in the car—and taken care of himself while she was in the shower.

"I told you I'd do that," she said.

He lifted his gaze, and she immediately regretted not putting on her pencil skirt. His hot gaze trailed the whole length of her body, lingering on her bare legs. The temperature in the room immediately rose a few notches and she felt her throat become dry.

He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing, then looked away.

"I know. But you were showering, and it needed doing." He patted the bed beside him. "Come sit. Tell me how you feel."

“How I feel?”

Hallie settled next to him, close but not touching, suddenly aware of how small the room was. How close they were. How much had changed between them.

“Panicked. Tired. Scared.”

Seth’s hand covered hers, which was tracing invisible patterns on the duvet.

His hand was warm and comforting.

Hallie looked up into those warm brown eyes, which held so many emotions.

“We’ll face it together. This time I’ll stand by you till the end.”

Hallie looked at their intertwined hands—at the way his thumb traced small circles on her skin, the way her heart responded to his touch like it had never stopped responding.

"Can I ask you something?" Hallie said.

"Anything."

"That night. The last night, before you left. Did you know?"

Seth was quiet for a long moment. "I suspected. My father had been pushing more often, harder. I knew something was coming. But I didn't know it would be that night. Didn't know I wouldn't get to say goodbye."

"And the promise? 'Always'?"

"Was true." He turned to face her fully. "It was always true. Even when I couldn't contact you, couldn't see you, couldn't let myself think about you because it hurt too much—you were still my always. You just didn't know it."

Hallie felt tears prick her eyes. "I hated you for so long."

"I know."

"Not because you left—well, partly because you left. But mostly because I couldn't stop loving you, and loving you hurt so much."

Seth reached up, cupping her face with his free hand. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for the pain I caused. If I could go back and do it differently—"

"Would you?" The question came out before she could stop it. "Would you really? Knowing what you know now, about the shadows, the Slayers, all of it?"

Seth considered this carefully. "I would find a way to tell you. Somehow, some way, I would make sure you knew I didn't leave by choice. But the leaving itself?" He shook his head. "I had to train. Had to become what I am. If I hadn't, I couldn't protect you now. Couldn't stand between you and the things that want to hurt you." He met her eyes. "I hate that it happened the way it did. But I can't regret becoming someone who can keep you safe."

Hallie leaned forward, resting her forehead against his. "You infuriate me."

"I know."

"You make impossible things sound reasonable."

"I know that too."

“And, as much as I know I should guard my heart from you, I just can’t stop letting you in.”

His breath caught.

“I won’t hurt you again. I won’t let myself make the same mistake.”

“Seth…”

She whispered his name, softly, like a payer, and that was all it took to break down Seth’s self-control.

He kissed her then—slow and deep and full of years of longing. Hallie melted into him, her hands finding his shoulders, his neck, his face, relearning the contours she'd memorized so long ago.

When they finally broke apart, breathless, Seth rested his forehead against hers.

"I love you," he whispered. "I've never stopped."

Tears spelt down Hallie’s cheeks, leaving warm trails on her skin.

She didn’t say it back, she couldn’t yet, but in her heart, she knew that she loved him too; she never stopped loving him in the first place.

Seth dried her tears with his thumbs, placing another gentle kiss on her soft lips.

“Let’s get some rest now. Getting in and out of the Sanctuary undetected won’t be easy, and we’ll need our energy bar full.”

Seth stood and pulled down the covers, while Hallie turned around in her seat, and crawled up the length of the bed.

After she’d settled on the mattress and turned around to pull up the covers, she found Seth staring at her, his jaw tight.

“What’s wrong?” she asked concerned.

He slid a hand down his face.

“You’ll be the death of me.”

Then, he climbed into bed and pulled the covers above them.

Hallie was lying on her back, while Seth was on his side, facing her.

“Turn around.” He said gently, though there was a slight edge of command in his tone.

Hallie patiently did as she was told, wondering what he was up to. Then, she felt his arm slide around her waist, his palm flat on her abdomen. He pulled her close, flushed against his hard body and her heart practically burst out of her chest.

“Sleep.” He whispered in her ear, his breath tickling.

Was he for real? The last thing on her mind now was sleeping.

Unlike her, Seth was comfortable enough to fall into a peaceful sleep, his breath even. Or maybe he was just too exhausted.

Soon enough, the steady rhythm of Seth’s heart lulled Hallie into a slumber. She let herself feel safe and protected in his warmth, and before she knew it, she was soundly asleep.

The world outside this small motel room was dangerous and uncertain, but in this room, they had the certainty of each other, and that’s all that mattered for now.