Chapter 20: _ Asher

Chapter Twenty

Asher

“Hmm . . . I’m not sure silver is your color,” Maeve mused, staring at my hair like it was some kind of science project.

“I told you,” I said with a laugh.

She narrowed her eyes. “Maybe if we go with something a little more unconventional.”

“More unconventional than silver? Go nuts, but I’m drawing the line at shaving it off, okay? On you, it’s sexy as hell. On me? Not so much.”

Maeve smirked, and I already knew her well enough to know that’s exactly what she’d been planning. But since she’d been sporting a series of pixie cuts with various designs shaved into them for the past couple of days, it hadn’t been much of a mental leap.

“Don’t you want to look all badass for your date with the priest? I could give you a crucifix? Or . . . how ‘bout we really make him go wild and I give you the mark of the beast? I think you’d look like hot shit with a 666 along the back of your head. It could be like your version of a tramp stamp. Something for him to stare at while your head is bowed in supplication. And then he could . . . exorcise your demons.”

“Oh, my God, Maeve . He’s not going to exorcise anything.” I rolled my eyes, trying to cover my snorts of laughter. “It’s not a date. It’s punishment. And you’re supposed to be helping me get it off my mind.”

“But if we do it my way, maybe he’ll help you get off instead.”

“Stop it.” I already had enough inappropriate thoughts about him all on my own. I didn’t need Maeve to give me any new ideas.

“I’m just trying to make you feel better since the Prince of Darkness has left you high and dry again.”

High maybe . . . but not dry. The fucker.

She’d caught me moping around our room and declared a mandatory roommate makeover session. What that really meant was Maeve wanted an excuse to turn me into her real-life doll so she could play around with various hair and makeup styles. All I had to do was sit there and look pretty. She always set me back to rights after she was done having her fun. Which was fine with me. At least it gave me something more productive to do than think about my upcoming session or that panty-melting asshole Jackson .

He’d ghosted me. Again.

We’d been T-minus ten seconds away from him claiming my V-card, only for him to all but flee from my room and leave me with no choice but to take care of myself. Not to mention whatever the hell that had been when I’d come so hard I could have sworn I heard his thoughts in my mind. So much build up and then . . . nothing.

God, I was such an idiot.

“You’re doing it again,” Maeve chided.

“I can’t help it.”

I’d filled Maeve in on the whole humiliating tragedy. From Callie’s stupid prank right up to Jackson ’s disappearing act.

“What I want to know is why are you worrying about him when you have that Norse beefcake just waiting on the sidelines? Or, hell, you could have Devon here with the crook of your little finger.”

Her comment should have made me smile, but it only made me groan louder. My feelings for these guys were so complicated. I was going to need a damn murder board to make sense of them.

“I thought you liked Cian?” she asked with a frown.

“I do. A lot. I mean, the guy saved my life, and there’s something about being around him that makes me feel strong and powerful. But I also have these crazy feelings for Jackson I can’t just wish away. Like there’s something that happens when I’m with him. I feel safe and in control . . . like he calms the chaos inside me. I’ve never responded like this to anyone, except—”

“Except?” she prompted when I didn’t immediately continue.

“Devon. As much as it kills me to admit it, my wolf has it bad for that Alpha asshole. She only showed up once she was around him. I . . . I think I need him to find her.”

That had been a rather uncomfortable lesson I’d learned during our match-up in class the other day. When his wolf had growled, signaling his intent to mark mine . . . Fuck, just the memory of it had my blood heating and my core tightening. After everything Devon had said about me over the years, there was absolutely no reason for me to feel this way. But my wolf had other ideas. And now that she was scratching at whatever barrier had been keeping us apart, it was not so easy to deny her.

“All right, so what you’re telling me is you need a harem.”

I laughed. “Yeah, right. Okay. Because I’ll be able to convince not one but three alpha males to just set their instincts aside and share me.”

Even as I said the number, my brain automatically corrected me. Four. There were four men I couldn’t get off my mind. But it may as well be one hundred for as likely as it was any of them, let alone all of them, would agree to such an arrangement.

Maeve looked at me like I was stupid. “Why wouldn’t they? You’re a snack, in case you haven’t realized it. You have this whole sexy alpha female just discovering her power thing going on. Men eat that shit up. They might beat their chests and claim to be dominant, but at the end of the day, they want a woman to serve. You, Asher, could bring men to their knees.”

I was pretty sure my mouth was hanging open at that point, but Maeve stopped and cocked her head, her eyes narrowing. “Asher, you’ve been with a man before, haven’t you?”

My cheeks burned. “Kind of hard to lose your virginity when you’re locked away most of your life. I never had a chance to be tempted before now. The only men I came into contact with were the few assigned to guard me, and they kept their distance. But now, when I’m around Devon, Jackson , and Cian”—and Devon, I whispered in my head—“it feels like something inside me has finally woken up.”

“Oh, my God, you really are a virgin princess. No wonder they’re all sniffing around like this.”

“It’s only them. None of the other guys on campus even exist to me. But what does it say about me that there is more than one on my mind?”

Maeve smirked, more than a little tickled by my admission. “Well, harems aren’t that uncommon. I mean, the fae do it all the time. Haven’t you heard about the Shadow Queen and her men? And I’m pretty sure I’ve run into a few poly groups at SIN. They like to make use of the private rooms when they're in the mood to play. Maybe you should chat with one of them next time. See what the whole dynamic is about. But I’ll give you this little nugget for free. Whatever you do, you don’t want a group scene for your first time.”

“I . . . how would that even work?”

Maeve lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “That’s the kind of thing you guys would have to figure out for yourselves. But I’m pretty sure admitting to your feelings is the first step. And if you really do have it bad for the Prince of Darkness—”

“I told you not to call him that.”

“—then you’re going to have to strap on your lady balls and tell him.”

I tipped my head back and groaned again, which only made Maeve laugh.

“You don’t have to decide anything now. Play the field for a while. You certainly have enough options. Just know that being with all of them is . . . one of your choices. The only opinions that matter, Asher, are yours and whoever you give your heart to. No matter how many someones that might be. Just make sure they’re worthy of it first.”

“Aw, that was actually sweet. Maybe you should be part of my harem.”

She grinned at me. “Tempting, but the thought of all that man meat flapping around makes my skin crawl. I’ll stick to being your bestie.”

Maeve moved over, using her hands instead of her magic to play with my hair, making me think the conversation was over. But she surprised me by asking, “What was that thing the lady in your dreams keeps telling you? Embrace them? Maybe she’s talking about the guys. You said each of them makes you feel stronger and in control. What if they’re the key to unlocking your power?”

A current of electricity buzzed through me. The kind that made my hair stand up on end and my body go hot and cold at the same time. It felt like . . . premonition.

“I told you about the dreams because they were weird. Not so you could make sense out of them.”

I’d finally caved and told Maeve about my recurring dreams the other morning after she’d heard me muttering to myself in my sleep. While I hadn’t had any more sleepwalking episodes, I’d been having the same dream almost every night since my sessions with Jericho started. Unfortunately, I hadn’t gotten any closer to deciphering it. Leave it to my mother to keep things vague and confusing.

But what if Maeve was right? What if ‘my guys,’ as she called them, were the answer to discovering who I really was? Devon had already woken my wolf, and all he’d done was annoy and arouse the hell out of me. And as mad as I was at Jackson for once again disappearing, I couldn’t deny the peace I gained when he was around. And Cian? Power pulsed inside me just thinking of him.

If I had them all . . .

The thought was both terrifying and enthralling, like the promise of something forbidden but oh-so-sweet. Because if Maeve was right, maybe, just maybe, I really could have everything I wanted.

I guess the real question was, would I be brave enough to find out?