I laid on the bed with my leg crossed on the other.
Random thoughts of how things were going flashed in my eyes and I felt so unfulfilled.
The emptiness filled me and made me nauseated but I ignored how I was feeling and continued staring at the ceiling.
I just noticed how different the pattern of the ceiling was. I ordinarily wouldn't pay attention to things like this. Boredom!
When I got tired of thinking of how discontented I was, I sighed.
Father always said I could be whatever I wanted if I took away the emotions. It made sense for a while till it no longer did. I am human! It hurts!! I should be able to know what I want to and not what he feel I should want!!!
Removing the emotions meant removing the passion and what was music without passion.
'Odio tutto!' I groaned 'Yes! I hate everything'
A small smile crept on my lips as I thought of my life as a musician. It came with so much freedom that I wanted.
"Oh shit," I cussed when I looked beside me and saw the time.
I sprawled to my feet and walked to the bathroom. I got under the shower immediately and began bathing when my hands touched my stomach.
The scar was still there and the memory came alive each time I touched it.
I got the scar from a bullet wound five years ago. I was found laying on the floor and rushed to the hospital but the details were kept from my records.
What really happened was that I got into a gun fight with my best friend, Massimo.
Worse? He died!
The bullet wound only caused me to get angrier whenever I thought of the incident.
I turned off the shower and took a deep breath. I cleaned off the water from my body and used the towel to clean off the wet strands of my hair.
I got dressed in a T-shirt and sighed when I figured there was no sign of Tiffany yet. She must still be on her bed and we don't have that much time.
I walked to her room next and knocked on her door before pushing it open.
It wasn't a habit I always did but I just did it. Tiffany owed it to me to call me a gentle man this time. I wasn't being the jerk she always called me to be.
I pushed the door open and paused.
"Tiff," I called as I stepped inside. She waited a moment and she soon realized it was me calling her.
She turned her face away and used the blanket to cover herself. She covered herself completely with no sign of her.
"Go away," she blurted.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and walked closer to the bed. Her bed was a big sized bed made available for her in case she wanted to roll and fall the fuck away.
"I don't want to go anywhere with you," she said. "Not everytime, Luciano. I'm sick and tired."
I raised my brow trying to understand if she was still drunk or something.
She was probably having a lazy morning but the last thing I wanted was to deal with that this morning.
When I reached her, I paused. She was having a bad morning but that's cause she was drinking.
Part of my fault though.
She continued covering her face with the blanket and I just stood there. I didn't say anything to her because I couldn't afford to get into an argument with Tiffany when she was experiencing a hungover.
"So go away," she continued. "I'm not going to class too."
"At least have a bath," I blurted.
I just remembered she didn't have her bath last night and that meant she'd still be stinking from the smell of alcohol.
"Get up," I said and offered her my hand.
She wriggled her legs and frowned but she didn't resist when I reached out to her and helped her up.
I took off her clothes but this was our of care and not because I was some horny bastard.
I swallowed back and helped her get out of the clothes then carried her to the bathtub.
"Damn it," she scoffed when I put her in the bathtub. "The water is fucking cold."
"I'm sorry. I'll make it warm."
She growled and then gave a small nod. I reached for her sponge and gently washed her back.
I moved in circles, I could tell she was getting comfortable with my touch on her body.
I rinsed the soap off her back and washed her again, this time gently so the soap wouldn't splash all over.
"You're doing it right," she said and I sneered.
Never in my existence did I think i'd do this and feel at ease doing it for her.
I grabbed the towel hanging by the aide and tossed it to her. "Get cleaned up."
She sluggishly got out of the bathroom and walked back to her room. I stood behind her, with my hands still wet from the water splash and all.
"Need help?"
"I can wear my pants unless you really want to help."
That sounded nice but I will pass.
"Get dressed immediately," I said brushing off what she said. "I'll dress you up if you delay me."
I turned to leave but I paused and looked back. "What?"
She didn't respond, instead she rolled her eyes and turned to the wardrobe to select a dress.
I walked out and got my stuff arranged. I grabbed the car keys and waited for her outside.
She was delaying but I wasn't getting mad. I was just running out of patience and that irritated me.
"Fucking hell, Tiffany," I cussed. "Where the hell are you?"
It took a few more minutes before I heard footsteps coming from the door and when I turned, it was her.
"Get in the car," I ordered with a hoarse voice and pulled the car door open. I had a few minutes left till we were late and I wanted to beat that.
I slid inside the door and she joined me in the passenger seat. "Luciano," she called and paused. "Luciano look at me."
What the fuck should I?
Does she even know she is in danger for being my step sibling? Does she know she is in danger to have me around? Does she know she is in danger because I love her?